Hourglass
by Mr. Fishy
Summary: Listen Oliver, I can time travel.
1. Listen Closely

Here we go! Ok for CraftyNotePad, in case you were still wondering, this is the story I was hinting to earlier. Anyway, this story could go two opposite ways: First it could go grand and I will be able to keep all my facts straight. Second it could all go to hell. Now, in this first chapter I needed to lay down all the ground rules of the story. It's very crazy and I doubt any of you will like it but there it is.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! The show belongs to Disney and the idea comes from _The Time Traveler's Wife _by Audrey Niffenegger.

……

(October 3, 2026. Oliver and Lily: 35)

OLIVER: The bed is warm. The sheets smell like her shampoo. It's very early the sun hasn't quiet risen yet. I'm so comfortable I don't want to move. I don't want to be disturbed. My eyes are closing I'm falling back to sleep. My eyes are heavy and I'm smiling. I'm drifting… drifting…

WHOOSH!

I snap forward and look around, my eyes darting to the door, the window… Lily? She's lying on our bed laughing so hard she's crying.

"What the hell?" I shout.

Lily keeps laughing.

"Where were you?"

Lily wipes the tears from her eyes and replies, "January 16, 2008."

I smile…

(January 16, 2008. Lily: 35, Oliver: 17)

LILY: I've got to say it's times like these that I get extremely annoyed. One minute ago I was lying happily in bed with Oliver and the next I'm here. As always I'm completely nude. Quickly I pull the navy blue covers around me. I' am, although, happy I landed in another bed. Sometimes I'm not so lucky.

I take a moment to look around. I know this bedroom I remember those punk band posters and brown book case, this is-

The door knob turns.

"Oh Shi-" I begin but do no finish because a younger Oliver is standing before me, completely horrified.

"Wh-What is going on?!" He demands.

I give a sigh. He doesn't know yet, I wonder how old he is? "Would you mind closing the door?"

"No! Who are you?!" He yells.

"Hey cool it Ollie no need to shout." I say getting more comfortable.

He gives me a funny look but closes the door.

"Thank-you." I say politely sitting on the edge of the bed the sheets still wrapped around me tightly. "Now, I can explain. It's me Ollie, Lily."

He shakes his head and laughs. "You must be joking."

I frown. "No, it's me."

He grabs a chair and seats himself in front of me. "But you're… you're old?"

I fold my hands over my chest. "I resent that!"

"Oh no! I mean you look great! But Lily's seventeen." He says.

"And thirty-five."

He looks confused. "You're not Lily."

I'm getting frustrated. "Yes I' am. Listen Oliver, I can time travel."

He laughs. "That's crazy! Just because you slightly resemble my best bud does not mean you're her. And time travel, please I'm not five!"

I narrow my eyes at him. "You're favorite stuffed animal as a toddler was a penguin called Greg. You cried at the end of the Notebook. We have a time capsule hidden under the willow tree in the dissertated park. Do you want me to go on?"

Oliver looks at my blankly. "How did this happen?"

"I've always been able to do this. When I was younger to other's it would seem as though I had only been gone for a second. But for me it was longer. As I get older the periods of time seem longer for everyone else as well. It's all very confusing. And I can't really explain it."

"Ok, ok." Oliver says licking his lips. "But why are you… well err naked?"

I laugh out loud before answering. "I can't take anything with me when I travel. And at first it was all very embarrassing, but I'm learning."

Oliver nods and looks at his feet. "So what is it like in the future?"

I tilt my head and look at him. What should I say? Should I spoil all the great times we will have together? Should I tell him that we get married and live through the good, bad and ugly?

He looks up at me, waiting.

"The future is… good and bad." I say choosing my words slowly.

"Well that paints a clear picture." He snorts.

I sigh and put my hand on his knee. "Listen Oliver, what I'm telling you can't leave this room. I don't tell you this secret for another year. The Lily in your present time is scared and lonely."

He looks sad for a minute. His face scrunches up and I have to fight the urge to grab him and kiss him senseless.

"Why didn't you tell me? I'm your best friend?" He says this with such sorrow in his voice that I'm taken back.

"I really don't know babe. I was a little naive and stupid."

He smirks. "Babe?"

I freeze. Shit! Shit! That nickname doesn't come till much, much later in our relationship.

"Lily? Do we ever become something _more_ then just best friends?"

It's funny but even the seventeen year old version of Oliver can make me blush under his dark eyed gaze. Against my own better judgment I nod.

A smile a mile wide spreads across his face. He sits up straighter and a zillion questions spew out of his mouth at once.

"When? How? Do we get married? Are we happy? Kids? And how do we deal with this time traveling thing?"

I shake my head. "Slow down buddy boy! I can't really say anything."

"Well at least tell me when." Oliver pleads.

"Soon."

"How soon?"

I groan. "Oliver please! … Ok I well I basically just… kiss you one day." I blurt out.

"What?" He smiles

"We were walking home and you were babbling about something stupid and I kissed you."

He seems generally pleased with this and sits back grinning from ear to ear.

"Happy?" I chuckle.

"Very."

We sit for a moment and I pull the sheets up a little more. Oliver's eyes are scanning my body and I feel a little self conscious.

"So how does this whole time thing work?" He finally asks.

I shrug. "Don't know, one minute I could be eating breakfast and the next I'm in the year 1993 watching us ran around my old backyard. It's all beyond me. But my doctor thinks it has something to do with genetics. Like a great grandparent of mine had it."

Oliver blinks and looks away from me. "Wow. It just really hit me. I mean I feel… weird but good all at the same time. I mean you and me, we get together. God! I've been wanting that for a long time."

I rise an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Well of course!" Oliver laughs throwing his arms up. "Lily you're amazing! But I always thought you never thought about me like that."

I have to restrain myself. For as long as I can remember I have always been infatuated with this shaggy haired boy. But I don't tell him this, I have told him more then enough. And now all I can do is wait till my time is up and I can return to my Oliver back in my time.

I fold my hands and wait. Oliver glances to my clasped hands and frowns.

"What's wrong?"

He doesn't say anything.

"Come on Oliver."

"You're not well you're not wearing a wedding ring."

"I can't take anything with me when I time travel, remember? Thus the no clothes rule. So you'll just have to let things rip and see what happens in your future. I can't tell you too much Oliver. Knowing some things can be a terrible burden to bare." I gave him one of my serious looks and he nods.

"You trust me on all of this Oliver?"

"I trust you with my life Lily."

"Good, because in the years to come trust is key. Be good Ollie boy." And then I disappear.

(October 3, 2026. Oliver and Lily: 35)

LILY: I fall back in the dark on mine and Oliver's bed and I'm laughing. I can't contain myself. It's all so funny. It's like a full circle. For the next year past Oliver will be there to comfort me and help me. It's one of the main reasons why I fell so deeply in love him. His complete understanding.

My Oliver now is grumbling at me and I keep laughing.

"Where were you?"

"January 16, 2008." I laugh at him as I see him smile.

"I remember that." He says pulling me close. "But mostly I remember you being naked in my bed."

I smack his arm playfully and he rolls over on top of me. We kiss and he runs his hand over my bare back. I pull his shirt off and we make love early in the morning. It's in these moments that Oliver and I are together that I feel time has no power. I'm connected with someone I love. Nothing can keep me away for long…

…..

There's the very first chapter. If you're still confused I'm sorry but I don't think I can explain it any plainer then that. Lily can time travel, yes, but mostly this is a love story told from both of their perspectives. The time traveling thing is simply a minor flaw in their relationship. Leave your thoughts.

Lazy Days


	2. Between Lonely

**Author's Note: **I have very little confidence in my writing pieces. So I was just scared you guys would not understand the plot… Which is stupid because I feel like I insulted your intelligence. It won't happen again. (In case you guys were wondering I have always been told from all my English teachers over the years that I didn't have the writing "flare." So what I'm trying to say is that I truly appreciate everyone's words of encouragement. Thank-you.) I must give a special thank-you to CraftyNotePad who has stuck with me and given a true opinion. Whenever I see a comment from you I can't help but jump for joy.

……

(May 2, 2012. Lily: 21)

LILY: I'm shaving my legs in the tub of my corner street apartment. Hannah Montana's _Pumping Up the Party _is blaring on my speakers. I'm singing along as I spread the white cream onto my legs. Oliver and I are going out tonight. My brand new blue dress is hanging on my closet door knob.

I'm so excited I could burst. Oliver and I have been happy and together for four years now. After I rinse my legs I skip over to the sink and brush my teeth. During the chorus of the song I feel a little light headed. Oh no! Quickly I grab onto edge of the white sink and squeeze my eyes shut.

"This can not be happen-"

(April 5, 2024 Lily: 21, Oliver 43)

LILY: I'm sprawled out on a wooden floor. I'm cold and I still have toothpaste in my mouth. I look up and try not to move. Clothes, I could use some clothes.

"Lily?"

I turn my head in the direction of my name. A boy with glasses and dark brown hair is smiling at me. I frown. "Listen kid, I could use some-"

"Clothes!" He blurts out. "I know."

Quickly he dashes away. I stay put. "I'm never listening to _Pumping Up the Party _again." I pout.

"Really? I always thought it was a good song."

I glance out of the corner of my eye and a middle aged woman is smiling at me with clothes in her hand.

"Here." She says handing them over. The woman turns around as I get dressed. She looks familiar. That dark curly hair? Those eyes? "Miley!" I shout as she turns around.

"Hey Lily." She laughs.

I hug her.

We smile at each other.

"What's the date?" I ask.

"April 5, 2024." She replies.

"You've got a son?" I say my eyes wide.

"Two actually and a daughter." Miley says with warm eyes.

"Really?!" I jump. "That's great! And who, might I add, is the lucky man?"

"…Jake." She blushes.

"Oh that's a relief. You two are fighting right now and it sure as hell doesn't look good." I sigh.

"I almost forgot about the argument we had." She looks deep in thought. She pears at me and smiles sadly. "I can't be selfish." She finally says. "I should take you to see Oliver, he's really missed you."

"Where have I been?" I say quickly preparing for the worst.

"Traveling as usual but this time you've been gone a while. He's very lonely."

I nod.

Miley jots Oliver, or better yet our, address down and I run out the door. Our house is just a few blocks away. Without even really reading the address I find it. It just has to be ours. It screams 'Lily and Oliver! Live here!'

But, I still look at the paper. _302 Middleton Lane _it says in Miley's pretty cursive handwriting. I decide not to knock on the door, instead I creepy inside. The house is divine. There are trees outside and a short pathway leading up to the big red front door. It's old and historical and I love it.

Inside there are pictures, paintings, and bookcases. Windows take up much of the wall space and here in this time the sun is setting and the rooms are lit up with a magnificent glow.

I find Oliver sitting at the kitchen table drinking lemonade. I knock on the doorframe and his head snaps to attention.

"Lily!" He gasps jumping up and embracing me.

His hug is tight and secure. I lean into him and smile. His face is old and it looks like he's growing a beard, strange, I never really thought of him as the type of person to have one. But it looks sexy on him so I let it slide.

He pulls away and looks at me. "God, you're so beautiful." He whispers.

I can't help it, I blush and turn away.

He takes my chin and kisses my cheek. The contact is nice. His lips are hot on my cool skin. He plays with my hair for a moment, lost in his memories and my soon-to-be ones. I want to feel him again. I kiss his lips and he smiles.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted me too." He says nervously.

"It doesn't matter if you're older then me Ollie, I'm quiet taken with you in any time frame."

He is pleased with my answer and kisses me fiercely. I have to wonder, how long have I been gone? The way he is pulling at me and running his hands down and down. I have to question it.

I pull away breathing hard but smiling all the same. "Well Miley did say you were lonely." I smirk.

He chuckles. "Well it's what I get for marrying you."

I stop. I've always known we get married but just hearing him say it makes me shiver with anticipation. I run a finger across his jaw line and smile easily. "You look really good." I say.

"Do I? I've been feeling very old lately, especially without you here." He kisses me quickly and pulls away.

A flame sparks within me. I want him now. His Lily is off in another time and I' am here, willing and ready. I kiss him slowly. I grab the collar of his red flannel shirt and pull him forward. We begin walking backwards. The back of my legs hit the couch.

I fall back and bring him with me. Clothes suddenly become boring and I'm just itching to get out. He reads my mind and unbuttons the blue shirt I'm wearing. I unzip his jeans and suddenly all is how it should be. Oliver and I both intertwined.

"I must be dreaming." He sighs into my hair.

"No, no." I moan into his chest, because suddenly I feel my body fading away.

"Oliver?"

"Yes?"

"I have to go."

"No!" His voice is fierce and scared at the same time. He grabs me by the arms and holds me. "You're here. Right here with me."

I shake my head and kiss his forehead and then I'm gone…

(May 2, 2012. Lily and Oliver: 21)

OLIVER: Lily isn't here. The sink is still running I turn the water off. I walk over to the couch and wait. I see a pretty looking blue dress hanging on the door knob of her closet.

Her green razor is on the floor. The apartment seems a little stuffy so I open a window. I collapse in an armchair and wait again. I play with a loose string that is coming out of a pillow on her armchair.

Her front door opens. In comes a very pissed looking Lily wearing an extra large t-shirt and nothing else.

"What's up?" I say casually.

"I had to steal this shirt." She says. "I got up and I was lying in an alley. Look!" She points to her skinned knees.

Quickly I run and grab her first aide kit.

"Sit!" I demand and she seats herself carefully on the couch.

I begin with spreading the alcohol over her bloody knees. I hear her in take a sharp breath at the sting.

"Where were you?"

"I was hanging out with you." She smiles.

"Really? How old was I?"

She thinks for a minute. "I think you were forty-three, and still very handsome." She adds cheekily.

"Well thank-you… so what did we do?" I look to her and see her blushing. I raise an eyebrow at her. "Lily! Gees!"

She shrugs. "What can I say; you're a very cute boy Oliver Oken."

I kiss her and we sit together on the couch and watch the sun set.

….

My next chapter will be longer I promise. Things will pick up; there is a point to all of this. Time is such a confusing thing so bare with me. Leave your thoughts.

Lazy Days


	3. See You

(February 4, 2016. Lily: 16)

LILY: I'm so cold. I can't feel my body. I don't know where I' am and I'm terrified. There's ice and slush on the streets. I'm huddled in a corner near an alley. I can't find any clothes. I don't know how to break in anywhere and find some.

I pull my legs to my chest and wait. Maybe this trip won't be much longer. My hair is damp and I feel tears run down my cheeks. What is this! Why is this happening?! I hate this, this disease! Oh God! I'm cold!

"Lily?"

My eyes dart to a young women standing far from me.

"Who are you?" I whimper.

"My name is Doctor Brown… Lily is that _really_ you?"

She seems shocked, as if she's seen a ghost. "Do you know about my… my problem."

She nods. "I'm well your doctor."

I shiver and she quickly sheds her coat and gives it to me.

"You came in today with your husband and told me about well… where'd I'd find you. My God! I should have listened to you today."

"What are you talking about?!" I shout while rubbing my eyes.

"Today is February 4, 2016. You walked into my office this morning as a 25 year old woman. You tried to convince me you can time travel, but I wouldn't listen and well here you are! At what? Sixteen? That's… that's amazing!"

I don't really understand, maybe it's because I'm too cold or because she's talking and ranting to herself. I stand up and wrap the long winter coat closer to me.

"How does it work?" Doctor Brown asks her eyes light and her lips curling into an excited smile.

"I'm not sure." I say softly suddenly feeling stressed and tired.

"Well can you tell me anything?" She demands.

"I don't know! I just want to go h-"

I leave Doctor Brown.

(February 4, 2016. Lily and Oliver: 25)

OLIVER: "Do you think she'll believe you?"

"Of course she will!"

I have to say that I doubt what Lily is putting so much faith into. We walk into the hospital doors and she races into the elevator. We stand side by side holding hands as the numbers light up and a ding sounds.

Once on the fifth floor we search for Doctor Cindy Brown's office. "Aha!" Lily cries triumphantly. "Told you we'd find it!"

We walk inside. Lily doesn't have an appointment, but she's smiling so I suppose she knows something I don't.

"Hello Doctor Brown? I'm Lily Oken."

A very tall round women stands from her desk and takes her glasses off. "Do you have an appointment?" She asks stiffly.

"Well not exactly." Lily frowns. "But I'm sure what I have to tell you will change that."

Brown sits down and points to the short gray chairs for us. We sit together in unison. Lily looks determined and I'm confused.

Lily takes in a breath; I reach for her hand and hold it tightly. "I can travel through time." Lily state fairly calmly.

Cindy Brown laughs. It's not a pretty laugh; it's loud and in a mocking manner. "Are you mad?!"

So far I'm not impressed with this lady Lily clams to be her friend and savor in years to come.

"I know this is very difficult to comprehend but it's true. I need you to take me under test. I want to understand this, and you're the one for the job."

After Brown finished laughing she shook her head. "I'm very sorry Mrs. Oken but what you're purposing is simply impossible. Time travel is still beyond some of the greatest scientist of our time."

Lily is still smiling. "I understand that you don't believe me. But if you happen to see something out of the ordinary tonight please give me a call." Lily writes down our home number and we leave.

Once we're out in the car I turn to Lily. "Ok spill."

She sighs. "I've already met Doctor Brown, when I was sixteen. She babbled on and on about how you and I came to her earlier this morning. She will find me in the alley on her walk home tonight."

"Wait! You were in an alley? Alone in this weather?! Why didn't you tell me? Lily, that's terrible." I'm frustrated and I have the urge to hold her, just to make up for that lost moment when I wasn't around to protect her.

"I got over it Oliver, its ok. I'm ok."

We drive home in silence.

It's around eleven o'clock at night when the phone rings. I turn over and answer it.

"'Ello." I yawn.

"Where is she? Put Lily on!"

I rub Lily's shoulder and she looks at me. "It's for you." I say smiling in the darkness.

"Hello?" Lily says into the phone. "I know…. Yes that's what I was trying to tell you earlier…. I understand…. Tomorrow? Seven? Make it eight I'm tired… Yes… Goodnight Doctor Brown." Lily hangs up and lets out a victory cry. "YES!"

We laugh together and she curls up close to me. Maybe with help we can figure all of this out. Maybe we can learn to keep Lily here, in the present.

(March 13, 2016. Oliver and Lily: 25.)

LILY: "Damn it!" I yell throwing the documents down.

"What?" Oliver asks looking concerned next to me.

"There's nothing here! Nothing! None of my family member's has any record of this dysfunction."

Oliver puts his hand on my shoulder, I shrug it off. I don't want him touching me right now. He gets the memo and backs off, mumbling about getting coffee. I stay put at our kitchen table and put my head down.

There's a knock on the back door. "Come in!"

Miley swings the door open and bounces in with Jake trailing behind her. The two have silly smiles on their faces.

"Guess what?!" Miley squeals.

"Huh?" I say looking bored and frustrated.

"Jake asked me to marry him!"

I'm happy for them, really I' am. Miley just picked one bad day to talk to me.

"Cool." I say dryly.

"What's wrong?" Miley asks her face falling.

"I'm just frustrated. Sorry Miles I'm just really not in the mood to celebrate."

With that said Oliver walks back in two mugs in his hands.

"Hey guys." He grins weakly.

"Hey." Jake waves.

Miley looks a little peeved and upset. Jake puts his arm around her and whispers something in her ear. She smiles and kisses his cheek softly. Jake is good for Miley. True, they can be annoyingly affectionate sometimes, but then again just the other day they caught me and Oliver making out on the couch. It evens out I suppose.

I feel a bolt of energy jolt through me. I hop up and embrace Miley. "I'm so sorry!" I gush. "I'm just upset about this family records but I shouldn't ruin your day!" She hugs me back.

"Always forgiven. Your problem is a little bit bigger then me."

I sigh while running a finger through my hair. I'm brunt out. I need coffee and coffee and sleep.

"Come on." Jakes says. "Let's go out, my treat?"

I glance at Oliver and he shrugs. I nod and he smiles. "We'd love to join you." I say while Miley and Jake look at us strangely.

"How do you do that?" Miley laughs.

"With practice." I smirk.

Dinner was the best idea! Sometimes Jake really surprises me. We were seated at a booth towards the back of a small French restaurant. Together we drank too much wine and laughed so hard we cried. Oliver and I toasted to the engaged couple and wished them well.

"Let's play a game!" I whine as we find ourselves back at mine and Oliver's small house. Miley chips in with a few suggestions: Monopoly? Sorry? Shoots and Ladders?

"Twister!" I shout while running to the closet and pulling out the game.

"You're kidding right?" Oliver laughs.

"Ah come on guys!" Jake smiles at me. "Let's play twister…"

"Ok, ok one foot blue and one hand… red!" Miley laughs after reading the spinner.

I groan while trying to navigate myself around Jake and Oliver. I make a bridge with my body when I finally find the spaces. I'm suddenly regretting this choice of game.

"My turn!"

We are waiting for Miley to read Oliver's next move but we hear a loud crash in the kitchen. I fall back onto Oliver and we are quiet for a minute.

OLIVER: Lily gets off of me and runs to the kitchen. I sprint after her along with Jake and Miley. We step inside and an older version of my wife is lying in a fetal position on the floor. She is bleeding from her head and feet.

The older Lily groans and looks to my Lily. "Stay back!" The other Lily yells holding a bloody hand out to us.

We stand helpless as she cries and suddenly disappears.

"Lily." I say nervously. "What was that? That was… ugly."

And from the horrified look on her face she does not know. What is going to happen to her? My wife, my best friend?

(April 12, 2016. Lily and Oliver: 25."

LILY: "Why don't you talk to your parents about this?" Doctor Brown asks as we sit in her office.

"I already have. My father tells me he believes it's from his grandmother. My great grandmother, but there's no way to tell." I'm getting very frustrated with Cindy. I need to know how to get this under control. After what happened in March I'm determined to solve this.

"Have you ever considered that there is no cure for this? I know that is a very sad idea but I think it's very much possible. You've tried the drugs I prescript correct?"

I nod.

"How are they working out?"

"Bad, I don't sleep much any more. And I'm getting these crazy moods swings." I reply bitterly.

"Well, from now on I'm taking you off of those. Lily, I'm doing what I can. Believe me I'm determined to help you."

I need to see Oliver. I want to kiss him and just lay with him in bed all day. He keeps me stable and healthy. After the pointless meeting with Brown I race home to him. I take the bus or walk now. It's far too risky to drive.

"Oliver? Oliver? Are you home?" It's a good possibility he's at work. We just quit our old jobs and opened a new skateboarding shop. Together we own and run it… well, it's mostly Oliver. I'm usually falling through time loops and getting stuck in the past or future, you know silly things like that.

"Oliver?" I'm starting to feel a little dizzy.

"Lily?" He runs to me and I hold him. My mind is racing and I'm having trouble concentrating. I close my eyes and…

(December 23, 2041. Lily: 25, Oliver: 50)

LILY: I'm on soft carpet floor. It's nice and warm unlike my many trips crashing to the hard cold cement. I look around and find clothes right beside me, I smile. After quickly getting dressed in a baggy blue flannel shirt and blue jeans I tie my long hair up and walk around.

The house is different from any other that I've been in. It's fairly small I hear a record playing. My feet pat the now wooden floors and I find an old man sitting in a large armchair listening.

"Hello?" I say softly hating that I interrupted his moment.

"Well, well you're early." He smiles.

"Huh?"

"It's me, Oliver."

I really looked at him. His hair is gray and there are many wrinkles around his mouth and eyes, but his eyes are still the same. Oliver, my Oliver.

"Hello Lillian." He chuckles.

I sit on the footstool next to him and look up at him. "I have a surprise." He says.

Oliver gets up and I hear his bones crack. I hear him take a record out of the record player and put something else in.

I listened intently. A familiar piano introduction starts up, nice and raspy. My heart swells and a smile curves across my face quickly.

"Oh Oliver…" I sigh looking to him as he sits back down.

"I knew you'd love it."

It's Billie Holiday's _I'll Be Seeing You_, one of my all time favorite jazz songs.

"I'll be seeing you in every lovely summer's day." I sing along.

"I'll always think of you that way." Oliver adds.

"When did you get this?"

"A long time ago, for your birthday." He smiles knowingly.

"I think that will be my favorite birthday… Oliver?"

"Yes?" He whispers.

"Do you even want me to ask it? Do you even want me to question where I' am?"

"No." He says quietly. "Please Lily, please don't ask. Just enjoy Billie."

And I do. We listen to the song three times. On the third time he offers to dance with me.

"I would love too." I smile taking his hand.

We come together his old cheek resting against my young one and we sway together oh so slowly.

"I love you." Oliver tells me in my ear, his breath hot.

"I love you too Oliver, with all that I' am."

He twirls me around and I giggle. He dips me backwards and I feel my time approaching. And I know Oliver feels it too. We give each other a smile. I kiss his cheek and with a sigh I say, "I'll be seeing you Ollie boy."

And then I' am no more.

(April 14, 2016. Lily and Oliver: 25)

OLIVER: It's been hours. I'm getting antsy and very worried. I look to the dark sky wishing she was here. It aches when she's gone. It hurts when we're too far apart.

"Oliver?"

"Lily!" I'm happy to see her coming from our bedroom trying to button up a shirt.

I notice tears pouring from her face and my heart breaks. "What? What is it?"

"Life!" Lily says throwing her hands up. "Life is so… so heart warming isn't it Oliver?"

I don't understand but I think she accepts my hug and my gentle kiss. All is well when she is here, in our time.

"Come on Oliver, let's go to bed." She says taking my hands. I follow; I would always follow her if I could. Always, always.

"Oliver?" She whispers to me later, when we're settled in bed.

"Hum?"

"Do you ever… do you want kids?"

I turn to her and run a finger down her soft cheek and neck. "Of course."

"Let's have a child." She stated firmly.

"But, but what about you know?"

"I don't care. Oliver, I want one child, just one."

"Ok." I say simply, because it is so simple. I love Lily and she loves me why not have a baby? I've always wanted to be a dad. And suddenly I want a child more then anything. I want someone here with me when Lily is gone. Someone that looks just like her. I kiss Lily and she kisses back but then stops.

"Not tonight."

I look to her confused.

"Just no, ok? I want you to hold me."

So I hold her and I can't help but wonder: When did we get so grown up?

….

Well there's that chapter. You're reviews have been lovely thank-you. Leave your thoughts.

Lazy Days


	4. Nineteen

**Author's Note:** I might have to stop updating for a little while. I'm working on my outline (again) for this story. After this chapter I might be gone for a little while to get all of my dates organized. I just got this new idea and I've got to figure out how to mesh it all together. And to CraftyNotePad: You sly devil! How did you do that! One of the things you mentioned is actually in one of my first outlines, you'll understand what I'm talking about it the later chapters.

….

(June 20, 2010. Lily and Oliver: 19)

OLIVER: I'm driving us home. Her head is against the window and she's sleeping. The orange wig she was wearing is beginning to fall off; her blonde hair is showing in long strands. I tap my thumbs against the steering wheel and whistle along with the tune playing on the radio.

The Hannah concert was a little dull this time. You've seen one you've seen them all! But Lily was there with me holding my hand so it was a little hard to concentrate on anything but her.

I turn the radio up, but just a little I don't want to wake her. Lily turns in her sleep and mumbles something peanuts. I try to suppress a laugh. As we near her house I lean over and stroke her shoulder. "Lily." I whisper. "Lily, wake up."

She looks at me and then poof! Like magic she disappears. Feeling my heat skip a beat I pull over. In the two years we've been dating I have only seen her vanish once, and that was when she was thirty-five.

I look to her seat and all that is left is her clothes in a messy pile. What am I going to do?

(May 24, 2014. Lily: 19, Oliver: 23)

LILY: I'm in a tube. The water is nice and warm. The bubbles smell like lavender. The bathroom is fairly small but I like it. I close my eyes and try to think. Where was I? Oh! With Oliver, driving home from the concert.

I get out of the tube and find a fluffy towel waiting for me on the sink. I dry off and search for clothes. I settle for a bra and large green t-shirt.

"Lily? You here? I got that weird bread you wanted! You know from the new bakery downtown?"

Oliver! I feel a jolt of excitement. I wonder how old he is. I lean against the doorframe of the bedroom and wait. Oliver finds me and smirks.

"Hey."

"Hello." I reply. He's young, not my nineteen Oliver but still young. He pulls me to him and I shuffle a giggle. We kiss and I'm entranced. His hands fumble with my bra hook. I keep on kissing him even as we walk to the bed. It's not till we are lying on the bed and he is pulling my shirt off that I get nervous.

"Hey? What's wrong?"

It's now that I realize he thinks I'm his older Lily, not the nineteen year old virgin.

"I'm, I'm n-not… uh?" Is all that I get out.

"Oh!" Oliver says getting off of me. "Sorry I thought you were well never mind. Do want something?"

I shake my head. To be honest I'm too busy staring at him. Oliver is sitting on the edge of the bed, as far away from me as he can. I crawl closer to him and smile. I can't help but wonder why he is acting strangely.

"You ok?"

"No."

"Why?"

He's nervous. His cheeks turn pink and he keeps licking his lips repeatedly. I'm going to have to just kiss him if he keeps acting this cute.

"You should put some actual clothes on. Here I'll get you something." He gets off the bed, leaving me.

"I'm perfectly comfortable in…" I stop. I get it now. "Hey Oliver?"

He pops his head around the doorframe and looks at me. "Yes?"

"Do I look bad in this?" I say referring to the green shirt.

"No! No it's just I don't want to… to… just change ok? We'll have some coffee or something."

I've never been good at having self control. When I really, truly want something I'll go and get it, no matter what. And at the moment, Oliver has caught my eye.

"Hey Ollie, do you remember any French from high school?"

We are standing in his closet and he nods. "Yes I do."

"Est venu coucher avec moi." I say a smile playing on my lips.

Oliver drops the clothes he had for me to wear and coughs loudly.

"Well?" I say growing impatient.

"Lily we're not I'm not going to… to gotobedwithyou." He says hastily.

"What you and I haven't done it yet in your time?"

I see a smile appear. "Well yes we have but." He coughs again and looks me. "But you're too young and… and…"

I can't take it, I kiss him. So what if I changed my mind not two seconds ago. I want this, now.

OLIVER: I like this. I really, really like this. I've never been able to resist Lily's sweet kisses. And she's not that young. I mean she's a legal adult! I just hope my older Lily doesn't walk in on us. That would be a disaster.

The Lily of the moment is playing with my hair. I lean her down gently on the bed and try my best to be very careful with her. I want her first time to be nice, not rushed. Clothes are always easy to be disposed of.

"Do you have a condom?" She asks breaking away from a kiss.

I nod and turn to the small nightstand. I take a box out and pull one out. She watches me and I feel very self conscious. I clear my throat and turn away.

"So you and I do this a lot in the future?" She wonders aloud nervously.

"Yes we do. And every time it's beautiful Lily. I promise to go slow ok? You can trust me."

She nods and breathes in and out. She is under me and I'm on top. She looks stunning now as the sun sets through our window. I smile and she gives me a grin in return.

I carefully slide into her. I hear her take a sharp breath in and whimper. I suddenly feel like a complete asshole. I'm hurting her! "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I whisper in her hair. She nods and I proceed.

But then everything changes. I imagine things breaking and blood cascading around me. Lily opens her eyes and a beatific smile appears on her face. It's done. We pull apart and I collapse on the other side of the bed. Lily curls next to me and sighs in satisfaction.

"Hey Lily?"

"Yes?"

"You ok?"

"…Yes. Thank-you."

And she's gone.

(June 20, 2010. Oliver and Lily: 19)

LILY: I'm suddenly back in Oliver's car. I'm sweaty and my head hurts a little. Oliver is ogling at me.

"How long was I gone?" I ask putting my hand to my head.

"Like two minutes… Here take my jacket."

I wrap myself up in his brown coat and Oliver starts the car back up. "It was much longer for me." I say.

"Where were you?"

I smile. "With you."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Oliver drops me off and I run upstairs and take a very long bath. I just had sex…. I just had sex!

(May 25, 2014. Oliver and Lily: 23)

LILY: We are in bed. Oliver is playing with my hair. I'm drifting in and out of sleep; it's still very early in the morning.

"Hey." I hear him say.

"Humfr?" I grunt.

"Why didn't you tell me your first time was here… with me?"

I sit up and my hair wisps around and smacks his face. "I totally forgot that was yesterday!" A tidal wave of memories hit me. The pain. The pleasure. Ooh yes.

"I'm sorry." I say plainly.

"I mean I felt bad that you just left after that. I wanted us to talk and maybe go somewhere. Your first time didn't seem that special."

"But it was with you." I smile.

"So?" He shrugs off.

"_So,_ it was special."

He leans forward and kisses me. "You're wonderful."

"I know." I reply smugly. "Now let me sleep."

"Oui, Mademoiselle."

We snuggle up together and I sigh. Perfect, perfect.

….

I hope I didn't poison any of your minds with such vulgar sex talk… Although I'm quiet sure I didn't. Leave your thoughts.

Lazy Days


	5. Fingers Crossed

**Author's Note: **Ok I lied. After I posted that last chapter I felt a huge burst of inspiration. I wrote up the outline for this chapter and typed it up very quickly, well here it is.

(October 5, 2015 Lily and Oliver: 24)

LILY: I walk into our apartment quietly. I set the bags down and spot Oliver passed out on the couch. He has a book over his chest. I bend down and pick it up. He's reading _Heart of Darkness_.I place it on the coffee table and lay down with him.

I kiss his cheek, his neck, and his mouth. He opens one eye then both. I see him smile and I do the same. A little bit of stubble is growing on him. His eyes are tired and I can only guess mine are the same.

"Comment êtes-vous mon amour?" I ask.

"Juste grandiose." He chuckles.

I kiss his neck suggestively and fiddle with hem of his shirt. "Too tired?"

" 'Nor Time, nor Place, nor Change, nor Death can bow/ my least desires unto the least remove' "

"Come again?" I laugh.

"Sure let's go!"

We kiss and kiss and soon we are inside of one another. As we approach a climax we release and a question burns inside of me.

"Do you think people have as much sex as we do?"

Oliver lifts his head from my chest and laughs. I feel his body shake as his laugh echoes through his throat. "I don't know."

We ponder for a moment before I realize something. "I forget to get eggs!"

"Huh?"

"I went to the store and completely forgot! Come on lover boy let's go!"

I drag Oliver to the corner grocery store. We walk inside and I run to aisle 12.

"While we're here we might as well get some junk food." Oliver suggests.

"Totally! I've been craving M&M's."

We are in the party foods aisle. I'm pushing the carte forward and Oliver is right behind me kissing and nuzzling my neck.

"Hey Mistier! We are in a public!"

"So."

"You're right." I say turning around and he pushes me up against the rack of candy kisses. We are groping and touching and I feel great. I haven't time traveled in two whole days! I'm ready to go home make love to Oliver and eat candy till I puke.

I find my hands going south and pinching Oliver's butt but I'm greeted with an unusual square box sticking out of his back pocket. I pull back.

"Oliver?"

"Yes." He says breathlessly.

"What is in your pocket?"

I watch and marvel as his face goes pale. "N-Nothing!"

"I'm not that stupid." I reach for it.

"No! Not here."

"What is it!"

We do a funny dance. Oliver is hoping away from me with both of his hands on his butt and I'm trying to remove them. I bet the security guards taping this will have a fun time later, laughing their asses off at us.

"Oliver Oken you tell me right now!" I yell stomping my foot.

"Jesus! You know I'm starting to regret this already!" He yells back.

"What are you talking about?"

He pulls the box out of his pocket.

"Oh." I say feeling idiotic and stupid.

"Marry me Lily." His voice is below a whisper.

I feel like crying or slapping him. Instead I kiss him gently and nod my head. He slips the small ring onto my finger and I laugh. We kiss again and this time the manger of the store comes out and asks us to leave. Oops.

(October 23, 2015. Oliver and Lily: 24)

OLIVER: Lily and I are getting married at city hall (much to all of our parent's dismay.) We decided on not having a real wedding partly because we're not in to that sort of thing. We were going to run off and elope but Miley and Jake wanted part of it so city hall it is! I'm getting ready in one of the bathrooms. I feel like I'm going to throw up.

"Come on man! You're going to be great!" Jake reassures me from outside of the stall.

"Just shut-up." I groan.

LILY: "Miley shut-up!"

"What? All I'm saying is that it's a tradition that the bride wears white."

"I know that's what you've been saying over and over for the last two days! I don't care about tradition I'm getting married in my own way."

I quickly run my fingers through my wavy hair and straighten my blue dress. It's a simple dress that I've worn once and it has to be my favorite. It brings out my eyes… at least that's what Miley says.

I'm a little nervous. My heart it pounding, but I'm determined to stay here in this time. I can't miss my own wedding, I just can't. Please let the power of God, Father Time, and Santa Clause keep me put.

OLIVER: She looks amazing. A tall balding man is reading a passage but I'm not listening. Lily looks ravishing. Her dress hugs her curves in a very pleasing way and her make- up is natural and perfect. We look like a regular couple. She isn't disappearing and I'm not throwing up. Thank God! Or whoever is up there!

Once we get into the car I turn to Lily, my wife, and kiss her. "I love you."

"I love you too." She replies.

And together we drive to the beach. I park the car and turn the radio up. Together we dance to a jazzy tune spewing from the small car door speakers. I twirled her around and watch her endless blonde curls spin around. "Je vous aime, je vous aime, je ne vous permettez jamais de vais." I tell her.

"Dido." She smiles.

(August 10, 2016. Lily and Oliver: 25)

LILY: It's odd. Sometimes I wonder how Miley and I ever became friends. We are just so different. My wedding was simple and low key. But this, this is crazy! I'm standing here at the reception with a glass of champagne in one hand and a program in another. I'm wearing a pink dress, one of the many horrors of being maid of honor.

But Miley looks lovely. She's smiling non stop and Jake is always kissing her or holding her close. Oliver is at the bar he waves me over and I collapse on a stool.

"Howdy partner." I say placing my program and glass on the counter.

Oliver drinks a scotch and nods. "Good, you?"

"Tired and wondering when Miley is going to be done with the pointless small talk. I really want to hang out. See! This is why I never wanted a big wedding. I hate small talk among many other things."

"Come on." Oliver says finishing his drink. "Let's dance gorgeous."

I can't help myself, I feel ten times lighter and I giggle like an immature school girl. "Right behind you handsome!"

A poppy love song hits the speakers and Oliver and I are the first to break a move. Dancing with Oliver is almost as good as sex with Oliver. We always dance very close together. We are playfully and silly. He kisses me deeply and I fall under his spell. We are young, married, and madly in love… God help us.

OLIVER: Speeches are being made. Lily makes a marvelous toast to the newlyweds and we all cheer and drink on it. Jake and Miley sit huddle together at the head of the table. I'm fortunate enough not to be a best man or anything so I back out on the saying anything. But I make it a point to stop Miley on her way out of the ladies room to congratulate her.

"Hey Miles!" I smile running over to her in the hallway. "Congratulations!" I hug her and lean in to kiss her cheek, only she turns her head and I kiss her glossy lips. I pull away and she gives me a look she's never ever given me. I'm about to question it but Jake comes around the corner.

"Hey beautiful! Come and sit with me!" He says.

The look in Miley's eyes is gone and she rushes to him and the two walk off together. I find Lily laughing with another friend and I smile at her. She looks great in that pink dress, no matter how many times she complains.

I want to talk to Miley but I resist the urge, it doesn't matter it was an accident. I pull Lily out to the dance floor and we dance again and again. I feel happy and complete with her near me, or touching me. But something strikes me as we leave the reception later that night. I feel like we are on top of a roller coaster…

(September 23, 2016. Lily and Oliver: 25)

LILY: I'm sitting up on a hospital bed. I'm wearing one of those ugly gowns where if I were to bend over everyone in here would see my butt. Well, most people in the world have seen my butt on numerous embarrassing occasions, but that is beside the point. Oliver is sitting next to me and we are pumping our legs back and forth over the edge of the bed.

I feel very small and unhappy in this white highly lit room. I feel very nachos and I'm not sure if that is a good sign or bad. Oliver holds my hand as the door opens. An elderly lady walks in looking grimly at us.

She pulls a rolly chair up to us and sighs. "I'm very sorry but all of the tests came back negative."

My stomach drops and my heart hurts. I squeeze Oliver's hand tightly, he doesn't flinch he just looks defeated.

"And it is very unlikely for you to ever conceive. I'm very sorry." She finishes.

I feel sick and a headache is approaching. I groan and lean forward.

"Lily?! Lily?!" Oliver screams.

"I-I…" Poof! Like magic.

(September 24, 2026. Lily: 25, Oliver: 35)

OLIVER: Lily is out at another appointment with Cindy. I'm alone again. I try to find something to read but I don't feel like doing that. I flip channels but nothing is on. I walk into the kitchen and begin making tea when I hear a crash in the living room.

I find Lily getting up off the floor and wiping a few tears away. I quickly find a few clothes and she slips into them without speaking. Oh no, what happened.

"Lily? Lily, my love what is wrong?"

She breathes in and sits at the kitchen table. "Do we have any children Oliver?"

Oh, it's that day in her time. I find the feelings of past yesterdays rushing over me. What I wouldn't give to simply lie to her, but I can't.

"No." It hurts me even as I say it.

She flinches and sobs harder. "Why?" She cries, not to me but to the sky, to the window. "Why?!"

I rush to her and wrap myself around her. "Shh." I say stroking her hair and then rubbing circles around her back. "Shh."

"I just wanted one child. One little boy or girl."

"I know, I _know_."

She finishes sniffling and I set warm green tea in front of her. We drink it and sit in silence. She leaves me soon afterwards and I pick the clothes up and put them away. Later I find myself looking around the house and just wondering what it would be like to have toys on the carpet and a crib in our bedroom. I choke back a small sob and wonder why things are so hard.

(September 26, 2016. Oliver and Lily: 25)

LILY: "I just don't understand how you thought you could ever have children! I told you Lily! I warned you! I mean that's crazy! You travel to different time periods and fall through the sky sometimes!"

I'm glaring at Cindy as she yells at me. She doesn't understand. She has two children, I have none.

"Shut-up!" Oliver yells from the corner of the office.

Doctor Brown sighs, frustrated, and sits back down. "Please just explain your reasoning."

"I just thought I wouldn't time travel." I say weakly. "Whenever Oliver and I are… are." I try to control the blush that is creeping up my cheeks. "When we are 'together' I don't travel. Whenever I'm connected with another person I stayed in place. I only thought that if I ever got pregnant I would be connected with another person and I would stay where I' am… but it seems that will never happen."

Oliver sits down next to me and we share a sad look. Doctor Brown nods. "I'm very sorry about this. But it's better that you get past it. I have a new idea for treatment."

"What do you have in mind?" I ask.

"There are things called clock genes. They govern circadian rhythms; keep you I sync with the sun. My partners and I have found them in many different types of cells, all over the body, but they are especially tied to vision, and you seem to experience many of your symptoms visually. The suprachiasmatic nucleus of the hypothalamus, which is right above your optic chiasm serves as the rest button, as if it were of your sense of time- so that's what I want to begin with."

"Um sure." I say as she looks at me waiting for some kind of reply.

"I'm going to take a blood sample" She says pulling out her equipment.

I roll up my sleeve and turn away. I hate shots, I hate shots!

"We're going to have your DNA sequenced."

"Doesn't that take years?" I say flinching from the sting.

"It does if you do the whole genome. We are going to begin by looking at the most likely sites: Chromosome 17, for example."

I sit back and Oliver looks dumbly at me then at Doctor Brown.

"I'm going to need to scan your head." Cindy says.

"Great." I say sarcastically. "So we are going away from the fact that this _disease_ could be sex linked?"

Doctor Brown nods.

I fall back in my chair… I don't know about this.

….

Leave your thoughts.


	6. Tell Me! Choose Me!

(April 14, 2017. Lily and Oliver: 26)

OLIVER: I'm looking over the charts and books, its official; we are going out of business. The skateboarding shop was a fine idea. But I'm loosing interest and money. I hate to bother Lily with this; she has enough shit on her plate to deal with.

I hear her key in the front door and I look up from the kitchen table. She walks in with a smile. Ah, a good day.

"Honey I'm home!" She snickers skipping into the kitchen.

I give a very weak smile.

"Why so sad dear boy?"

"It's over, we're in debt my dear, the shop won't last the year." For some odd reason after I say this she keeps smiling.

"Come watch something with me." She says leading me to our small television set. We sit down and Lily pulls a small piece of paper out of her pocket. I wait.

The TV is set on channel nine. I'm so out of touch with what is on now a days. I'm always busy and I don't really see the point, it rots your brain.

"And the lottery numbers of tonight are…" A man in a black suit says smiling on the screen. I look to Lily. "You didn't." I frown.

She laughs. "Just watch." On the screen six numbers are shown: 43, 2, 26, 51, 10, 11. Of course they all match the ones on Lily's ticket.

Lily turns the television off. "Neat trick, huh?"

"This is wrong, morally wrong!" I say throwing the paper down.

"Oh come on Oliver! I think someone upstairs is screwing us with my condition. We deserve happiness… besides who cares! Now we can buy that music shop you've always wanted."

I sit back in the couch, how did she know? Sensing my uncertainly Lily grins.

"Please Oliver, I know all and see all, just call me God."

I think it over. "Alright, alright let's be selfish pigs."

Lily cheers and stands. "Now, let's go spend our ill gotten gains!"

(July 4, 2017. Oliver and Lily: 26)

LILY: It's done. We've finally opened the right shop; music was definitely the way to go. Oliver seems happier with this small place. He's always making new orders and greeting the costumers with a friendly 'hello.'

We sell punk, pop, country, retro, techno, indie, alternative rock, plain rock, jazz every kind of music. You name it, we've got it! But today we are taking the day off for the holiday. Jake and Miley are joining us at the beach today.

"Come on, let's set up over there!" Jake yells over at us.

Oliver and I lug the towels, bags, and umbrella over to where Miley and Jake have set up the picnic area.

"Thanks for all the help." I grip sarcastically at them.

"Welcome." Miley smirks.

"Ahhh." Oliver sighs collapsing under the bright green umbrella and onto a red towel. "This is the life."

"No! No time to sleep! Let's hit the water!" I jump excitedly. I don't have to visit Doctor Brown, I'm not traveling all is good and well. I want to live up to the moment. Oliver groans. "We stayed up all night looking over new houses Lily! I'm dead!"

"You're a party pooper!" I say folding my arms over my chest.

"Every party needs a pooper that's why you invited me! Party pooper!" Oliver sings very badly, and off key. I laugh at his attempt.

"Alright enough! I'm ready to swim how about you oh pretty little wife of mine?" Jake grins at Miley. I catch Miley stealing a glance at Oliver. It bothers me, but I can't quiet place it. Oliver doesn't notice; he's playing with my hair with his eyes are closed.

"Sure!" She giggles nervously getting up and running after him.

I punch Oliver's arm. "Come on!" I whine.

"Fine, fine." He grumbles.

We get out to the shore and cool water hits my toes. I laugh as Oliver yelps at the icy contact.

"Oh you think that's funny eh?" He says running up to me.

"No Oliver, no!" I squeal as he picks me up and dunks me into the salty waters. We're laughing and laughing and then…

(November 26, 2018. Lily: 26 and 27)

LILY: I slam my hands on the tile floor. "Stupid! Stupid!" I shout. I can't believe this! I wasn't stressed or unhappy! I was perfectly content and now I'm here! I hate my life! I scramble around and find jeans and a sweatshirt waiting for me on the counter with a note.

_November 26, 2018._

_Hey you! I'm in the den. Come and sit with me. _

_Love, Lily._

I walk down the hall, I've been here before. It's the house Oliver and I will buy in a matter of months.

"Hey!" A very chipper Lily greets me as I sit down and cross my legs.

I give a nomad grunt in return. She closes the book she was reading and leans forward in her seat.

"July 4th, right?"

I nod. "Yeah… do I miss much?"

She shakes her head. "You go back and to them you were gone for three minutes tops."

I sigh in relief. "I hate missing things."

"I know." She says.

Is it odd to hate yourself? I'm sitting here staring at myself, the one year older me, and I'm annoyed at her. She knows more then I do and has had more experiences then me. Although I know I'm going to have the same ones very soon, it still bothers me.

We sit in silence. I'm bored. "Where's Oliver?"

"He's out. I think shopping maybe."

"You don't know?"

"I just got back."

"From where?" I ask.

Older Lily glares at me. "Oh." I say getting the point. Man! I'm slow. I tap my foot on the floor and crack my knuckles. This is pointless. If Oliver was around at least we could kiss and fool around.

"So… how are things?"

She shrugs. "Some old, same old. You're going to have a CAT scan with one of Cindy's partners soon. That wasn't pleasant. And some other stuff too but I won't spoil it for you."

"Just tell." I sigh. "You know I hate surprises."

"I know but I'd really rather not talk about it ok?" She says quietly.

"Sorry… so it's that bad huh? Well add it to the list of other bad things that's happened. I can't help but wonder what good this time traveling has given me." I shake my head. The older Lily sniffs loudly.

"Just promise to always trust Oliver, ok?"

I look at her. "What's going to happen?"

"Please Lily don't just promise."

"NO! What happens! Tell me! Tell me right now!" I'm standing up and my face is hot. I feel dizzy and I run to her. "Tell me!" I scream reaching out to her.

"I can't…" She says and I'm gone.

(July 4, 2017. Lily and Oliver: 26)

OLIVER: I'm sitting on the red towel waiting for Lily to come back. Miley and Jake are next to me, we are very quiet.

"Ick! Sand in the mouth not pretty." I hear her say.

I turn around and Lily is wrapping a yellow towel around her and walking over to us. Her face is flushed but not in her usual 'I just did something naughty with an older you' flush.

"Where were you?" I ask putting an arm around her.

"November, arguing with myself." She says.

Suddenly I'm not in the party mood. We pack up and start walking home. As we slowly make our way down the sidewalk Lily spots a corner book store. "Come on! Let's go inside!" Miley and Jake groan as me and Lily push them inside.

LILY: I'm running my fingers across the spines of old books. History, Mystery, Fiction, Non-Fiction. I want to wrap myself up in their words. These poets and writers, all my long time friends.

I spot Oliver smirking at a small paper back book. I smile and at him and his sun burnt cheeks. His hair is shaggy and uneven; I take note that he needs a haircut. I'm about to walk over and kiss him but I see Miley looking as well.

Her eyes are mirroring my own desires. There is hunger in her. I can feel it radiating off of her. She has not seen me yet. I feel a sharp punch in the gut. What is this? I walk over to Oliver and kiss his cheek. He smiles at me.

"Look Lilly knock, knock jokes." His eyes are all knowing as he points to the book. It's his queer way of saying '_I picked you.'_

"Knock, knock?" He chuckles.

"Who's there?"

(July 5, 2017. Lily and Oliver: 26)

OLIVER: We are lying in bed. I'm running my fingers over her cheeks and mouth. Her eyes are open and staring back at me with a quiet intensity. The curtains are pulled to; the only light is a dim bathroom one.

The sheets are off of us. It's a hot July morning. The fan spins over head in a gentle rhythmic knocking.

"What was it like? The first time you time traveled, what was it like?"

She ponders my question. "I've been traveling forever, but the one I really remember is when I went to Paris, I was seven."

"Really."

"Oui, I walked around the Musée d'Orsay for hours and hours, it was very late at night so no one was around. I was terrified yet peaceful all at the same time. I was worried my parents would wake up and find me gone. But I was enjoying myself."

"So what did you do?"

"I observed paintings and critiqued my favorites… you know the normal little kid thing." I laugh at her comment.

"Your favorite painting?"

I watch as she searches her memory, trying to figure out the answer. "Oh! _La Balançoire, _it's by Pierre-Auguste Renoir. I can remember just staring at it. All of his painting were so vibritant and full of life."

Lily trails off and looks to the ceiling then at me.

"Tell me Oliver, do ever think about what it would be like if I never could time travel? I mean you and I still would have gotten together."

I hate her question, part of me wishes she hadn't asked it.

"Sometimes, but I don't dwell on it Lily and neither should you."

"I know I shouldn't this is my life! I shouldn't linger on what _could be_, but I do Oliver, a lot."

I sigh. I have nothing to say.

…..

Well there's that. I'm overwhelmed by the comments I'm receiving Thank- you, thank-you. Leave your thoughts.

Lazy Days


	7. Where Lover's Lay

(March 3, 2018 Lily and Oliver: 27)

LILY: I'm combing my hair. Oliver is in the shower singing a children's French song "Sur le pont d'Avignon. On y danse, on y danse!" He shouts over the running water. I want to laugh but instead I get a bubbly feeling erupting in my stomach. Quickly I dash to toilet. I'm sick, I'm sick, is all I think as I throw up.

I hear the shower turn off. Oliver is still humming, not noticing me as I up chuck my entire breakfast.

"Lily!"

Finally!

"Lily! What's wrong?"

"I-I d-" I can't finish I throw up again. Tears are pouring out onto my cheeks and my nose is running. I feel like shit. Oliver pulls my hair back and ties it in a bun and rubs my back slowly. After I finish I sit back, exhausted.

"Better?"

I nod. He flushes the toilet and helps me up and sets me in bed. His hair is still wet and his skin smells like fresh dove soap. I watch as he walks back to the bathroom to check and make sure there's nothing to clean up.

I lay back and breathe slowly. In. Out. In. Out. Nice and slow.

I feel Oliver's weight push down the edge of the bed as he sits. He runs a hand along my cheek. "What's wrong?"

I shrug. "I'm not sure." I whisper. "Let me sleep."

He nods and leaves to finish getting ready. I'm alone.

(March 5, 2018 Lily and Oliver: 27)

LILY: … I'm pregnant. I'm holding the stick in my hand and it is bright pink. I check the box and skim it quickly. Blue: Negative. Pink: Positive. Ok, ok, breathe Lily, breathe. I can't help it, I'm smiling. What I thought to be the impossible is possible! HA! Take that you stupid doctors!

Oliver is out getting the mail so I stand by the window and wait. I tap my foot. Walk faster! I want scream but I hold back, he's opening the back door. I jump with excitement.

"Ollie? Oh Ollie boy?" I coo affectionately.

"Humm?" He says without looking up from the mail.

"Guess what?" I say in a sing song voice.

"What?" He asks looking up. I hold the test out to him. He pauses, his face unreadable. I wait, holding my breath.

"Is this? Does this mean?" He is searching my face, I keep smiling. He grabs me and holds me. I'm laughing and giggling as he kisses me over and over again.

"I'm going to be a dad!" He shouts. Oliver takes my hand and we waltz around the table. "You're beautiful! You're amazing! Ah I love you!" He says between a whirl wind of new kisses.

It isn't till later in the night, when we are curled up together, that I remember. I recall a thirty year old Oliver telling me we never had any children. I can't wrap my head around it. Oliver wouldn't lie about this kind of thing. Never, never. But maybe, we changed the future somehow. Is that even possible?

(March 7, 2018 Lily and Oliver: 27)

OLIVER: I'm closing up the shop. I've just flipped the open to the closed sign. I'm humming a song. I walk over to the counter and lock up the cash register. I find my car keys lodged under a mountain of paper work. I twirl the keys around my finger and put them into my pocket. I turn the lights out.

"Oliver?!"

My head snaps to Lily who is standing by the back door. "Oliver I'm… I'm bleeding."

She looks so small and fragile there.

"Where? What do you mean?" My heart is racing. The baby? The baby!

"It's like… like a period kind of bleeding."

I race over to her and we get into the car and I drive as fast as I can to the hospital. Speed limits be damned!

…We are sitting on a hospital bed. I'm holding Lily as she cries into my jacket. A miscarriage. A fucking miscarriage. I'm upset and torn between screaming and crying. I want to protect her. I want to keep her safe and give her what she needs and deserves… but I can't.

I feel helpless.

I feel powerless.

Where is my wife? Is she buried under all this sorrow and pain?

(March 10, 2018 Oliver and Lily: 27)

LILY: I never got a chance to tell Miley or my parents about the baby, now I won't ever have to. Jake and Miley have been blessed with a little boy. We're going to see them today. I can make it through this.

"Good! You're here!" Jakes smiles answering the door. Oliver and I follow them into the house. I try not to trip over numerous toys and packages.

Miley is sitting in a big armchair holding the little man. She is smiling and making silly faces at her bundle of joy. I cringe.

Miley spots us and waves us over. I notice Oliver's stiffness around her, I can't help but revert back to that summer day in the book shop, although it could have all just been my imagination. Miley looks happy and content with Jake and their newborn.

"This is James, named after Jake's father." Miley smiles introducing us to the baby.

I can't help it I crack a smile. I hold out my hand and say, "How do you do James?" The baby drools and rolls it's head to look at me.

I hear Oliver laugh quietly from behind me. Jake has never looked happier, aside from their wedding. He is bouncing around the house getting Miley and James whatever they need. Oliver and I sit on the couch and I reach for his hand.

He gives me a weak smile and I kiss him softly. I lean in and whisper in his ear, "I have you. That is enough."

Oliver lets out a shaky breath and mouths, "Yea?"

When Miley and Jake are not looking and are sitting in the other room I kiss him fully and deeply on the mouth.

"Yes." I say. "Yes."

(May 28, 2018 Lily: 27 and 25)

LILY: I'm reading a book about Cornell's Aviary boxes. It's extremely interesting. Oliver is gone for the moment, picking up the new order of CD's. I'm about to turn the page when there is a loud thump in the bathroom. I quickly swing my legs over the edge of the bed and find myself slipping into my bathrobe. I look tired.

"Hey." The other me says groggily.

"Come on you look like you need some sleep. Where are you coming from?"

"The sleeping lab, I was getting my head scanned."

"Oh." I say, I remember that. The other Lily is twenty five. She lies down in the bed and pulls the covers up over her head. A moment later she is gone. I pick my book back up and return to my reading.

(May 28, 2016 Lily and Oliver: 25)

LILY: I arrive at the sleep lab exhausted, just like Doctor Brown had instructed. I'm a little nervous, but I'm so tired that I can barely concentrate.

"Lay down here." Cindy says while writing something down on her clipboard.

I seat myself on a small uncomfortable bed. There are no windows in this room. The walls are painted a gloomy gray except one that has a large one-way mirror; behind it is another one of Cindy's partners.

The lab technician, Harriet, puts cream on my head and the very top of my chest, after I unbutton two buttons, and tapes the wires in place. The room is dim and cool, I shiver. Everything is set. Harriet bids me goodnight and Cindy flips on a few monitors and leaves.

I settle into the bed carefully and as soon as my head hits the hard pillow, I'm fast asleep. I dream of my old kitten Kit-Kat I imagine playing with the brown kitten in a yellow field of sunflowers. Next my mind brings me to the old skate parks. I'm making a sharp turn on my old orange skateboard and I fly off of it and land in the dirt.

Suddenly I'm walking with Oliver down a long winding road. We are laughing and holding hands it's peaceful. But then I see a dark shadow looming over us. I scream and the two of us run but the dark figure catches me. I'm screaming and screaming. My heart is pounding. I wake up back in the sleep lab sweating.

I turn back over and fall back asleep. I'm dreaming that I' am in a bright place. I can't see anything. I can't see! I'm thrashing my arms around and shaking my head. There is a lullaby singing hauntingly in my head: _Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. _Someone is holding me down. I feel sick! I feel something cold rip out my-

"Holy shit she's bleeding!"

I wake to find Brown and her crew standing over me. I have a bloody nose. The other doctors look worried and upset but Cindy has a jubilant smile on her face.

"Did you get that?" I ask.

"It was perfect." Cindy replies.

"Great." I say and vanish.

(June I, 2016 Lily and Oliver: 25)

OLIVER: Lily's face is crumpled and droopy with sleep. Her face has pillowcase lines all over it. She turns to me and whispers, "Say the poem about the two lovers on the carpet." I rack my mind for the poem. I remember doing a report in my senior year about a German poem about… oh! I remember now.

I clear my throat and begin,

"_Engel: Wenn es gab einen Ort den wir von nicht gewusst haben, und dort, auf einem unsayable Teppich, Liebhaber haben dargestellt was sie nie könnten bringen zu Herrschaft hier- die mutigen_

_Heldentaten von ihren hochfliegenden Herzen, ihre Türme des Vergnügens, ihrer Leitern, dass lang hat, da Stehen gewesen ist, wo es keinen Boden gab, der nur auf einander lehnt, zitternd- und_

_könnten alle dies, vor den umgebenden Zuschauern, die unzähligen lautlosen Verstorbenen beherrschen: Wird diese dann Wurf ihr Finale hinunter, ewig hat gespart, ewig versteckt, unbekannt zu_

_uns, ewig gültige Münzen des Glücks vor dem an zuletzt echt lächelnd Paar auf dem befriedigten Teppich?"_

Lily is please after I finish. "Brava, Brava, it was beautiful."

"I can't believe I remember that." I say marveling at my own abilities.

Lily then tilts her head at me and repeats the poem in English.

"_Angel!: If there were a place that we didn't know of, and there,_

_on some unsayable carpet, lovers displayed_

_what they could never bring to mastery here- the bold_

_exploits of their high-flying hearts,_

_their towers of pleasure, their ladders_

_that have long since been standing where there was no ground _

_leaning_

_just on each other, trembling- and could master all this,_

_before the surrounding spectators, the innumerable soundless dead:_

_Would these, then, throw down their final, forever saved-up,_

_forever hidden, unknown to us, eternally valid_

_coins of happiness before the at last_

_genuinely smiling pair on the gratified _

_carpet?" _

"I think foreign languages should be a super power or something." I say after her translation.

"You think?"

"Oh yeah! How cool is it to run around and say random things in French or German and no one know what the hell you're talking about!"

"Unless they knew German or French." Lily giggles.

"Fille astucieuse." I snicker.

"You have taught me well oh wise one."

We kiss and it's times like these that I forget that at any moment she could disappear. During these few abrupt moments we are a normal happy couple. I thank God for every second like this I get.

…..

Leave your thoughts.

Lazy Days

In case you care here is the poem again it is very lovely:

_Angel!: If there were a place that we didn't know of, and there,_

_on some unsayable carpet, lovers displayed_

_what they could never bring to mastery here- the bold_

_exploits of their high-flying hearts,_

_their towers of pleasure, their ladders_

_that have long since been standing where there was no ground _

_leaning_

_just on each other, trembling- and could master all this,_

_before the surrounding spectators, the innumerable soundless dead:_

_Would these, then, throw down their final, forever saved-up,_

_forever hidden, unknown to us, eternally valid_

_coins of happiness before the at last_

_genuinely smiling pair on the gratified _

_carpet?_

_By: Rainer Maria Rilke (famous German poet). _


	8. Merrily

**Author's Note: **Oops. Thanks Lily-Jackson, I'm really sorry that I messed up. I'll make sure to double check my work more often. And no of course I'm not mad! Why would I be? You simply caught me having a "stupid moment." I'm enjoying everyone's comments but please, things will unfold in good time… at least I hope so. Anyway, I'm in the mood for some fluff! Who's with me?! … Anyone? Well whatever read on.

….

(December 24, 2018 Lily and Oliver: 27)

LILY: We are packed and ready to go. Oliver starts up the car and pulls out of the driveway. We sit in silence until Oliver pulls out onto the intersection. I'm getting a little bored so I turn the radio on and Teddybear's _Punkrocker _is playing. I laugh and turn up the volume.

Oliver bobs his head to the music and I belt out the lyrics. "'Cuz I'm a punkrocker yes I' am!" I shake my head letting my hair down out of its bun. Oliver soon joins in and just like that it's a concert.

As the song comes to a close we hit traffic on our way to the correct exit. Oliver steps on the breaks and we sit in silence before another oldie song comes on the radio. It's Iggy Pop's _Lust for Life_.

"You think Miley and them will be around?" I ask tying my hair back up.

"Don't know." Oliver shrugs.

"I haven't seen them in a while… have you noticed Miley acting a little weird lately?" I say trying to keep it casual.

"Yeah, you've noticed it too?" Oliver says still looking to the road.

I nod. "But I don't know what's wrong we don't talk anymore, it's a little depressing. I miss my buddy."

"Well you always have me." Oliver smiles. I smirk and sigh dramatically. "Yeeeah, about that babe I was thinking it over, you're just not what I'm looking for in a _real_ man." I'm playing with him, and as always Oliver goes along.

"Oh really?" He looks to me and puts his hand in between my legs. He slides it up to my thigh. I lean back in my seat, the traffic isn't moving, we have time. Oliver unbuckles his seatbelt and comes closer. We try and get comfortable, it's not working well.

I kiss him and he kisses back. _Lust for Life_ is screaming in my ears and a question pops into my head. How in the hell are we going to keep our hands off one another my parents house? A car horn beeps and Oliver quickly sits back down and we drive on.

When we are standing at my parents front door. I look over at Oliver and realize he has lipstick all over his mouth. I quickly try and wipe it away; he kisses my fingers and gives me a heated glance. I can't help it; I'm a little turned on. I'm about to close the distance between us but my mother's answers the door with a big smile.

"Oh! You're here! Oh joy! Come in, come in!" She says bouncing with excitement.

"Hey mom." She pulls me into a great bear hug and I hug back with just as much intensity. I miss her.

After me she runs off to attack Oliver. I walk into the living room and find my father, the conservative account. He puts the paper that he was reading down and smiles up at me. His eyes are twinkling and it's now that I realize I've been away too long. He looks so old.

His hair in very thin and a light shade of gray. I bend over and hug him. When we let go he gives me a reassuring smile and I remember why I love my father so much. "So where's Marty?" I ask.

"He's got to be here somewhere." My dad sighs and standing. We walk into the hallway and I hear Marty come running down the stairs.

"Is that my little sister?!" He laughs giving me a hug. "God, it's been so long!"

"Well you know me, everywhere at once."

Marty leans against the hallway doorframe. "So where's that husband of yours?"

"Oh, probably off STUFFING HIS FACE with mom's cookies!" I shout to make sure Oliver can hear me.

A second later we hear him say, "Sorry!"

"Man! Can't believe you're still married to that donut." Marty laughs.

"Well I can't believe you're still married to that-"

"Oh Lily!"

I don't finish, Marty's wife Sherri comes down the stairs and hugs me tight. It's a little awkward with her large pregnant belly in the way… Why didn't anyone tell me I was going to be an aunt?

I glare daggers at Marty as she lets go. "It's so good to see you again Lily!" She giggles. Sherri is nice, just not my favorite person to hang with. She's so… so… oh hell she's annoying.

Oliver comes in from the kitchen holding a cookie and eating one himself. He walks over and stands next to me. "Here you go." He smiles handing me the Christmas tree cookie. I smile and kiss him on the cheek. "You the best."

Oliver takes a bow.

"Ok kids! Dinner's ready!" My mother calls from the other room. Oliver and I trail behind Marty and Sherri.

My mother, being the fabulous hostess that she is, has little seating cards set up for us. Although there are only six of us she still likes to make everything official and special. I'm seated right across from Oliver. We sit and the feast begins.

"How's the per-school class, mom?" I ask after taking a sip from my wine.

"It's going very well. The kids got together and made me cards for the holiday it was so sweet! Here I'll show you!" She quickly races out of the room and comes back with a plastic bag full of cards written on white folded paper and in crayon.

I look over the cards. I imagine the toddlers sitting at their tiny desk writing and drawing and suddenly my throat closes up. I want a baby all over again. Damn it! I nod and swallow hard. Oliver catches my eyes, I shake my head at him showing him I'm fine, don't worry.

My mother keeps smiling and takes the cards from me. I never told her about the miscarriage. She doesn't need to know; at least she's getting a grandchild from Marty and Sherri.

"So Sherri when's the baby due?" My mother asks her while digging into her roast beef.

"In two months." She smiles rubbing her stomach. "… Lily? Are you and Oliver ever planning on having children?"

Oliver chokes on his water. I cringe.

"Well… umm." Oliver begins horribly.

"We can't have children." I frown.

Sherri blushes. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to…"

"It's ok." I reassure her. "Really it's fine… anyway let's move on, new subject please."

OLIVER: I watch Lily as her father begins to talk about his work. I want to make sure that she's alright. She catches my eye and gives me a true smile. I relax and pick up my fork and begin eating the mashed potatoes. Yum.

Dessert is served soon afterwards. I drool over the chocolate cheesecake. If there's one thing I love about staying with Lily's parents it's her mother's cooking. I suddenly feel someone kick my leg under the table. "Ouch!" I howl. Lily laughs.

"You ok Oliver?" Lily's father asks his glasses sliding down his long nose.

"Perfectly fine sir, just hit my leg on the table leg." I glare at Lily, she keeps laughing. "Lily, my love, would you mind coming with me to the other room?" I'm staring at her.

"Pourquoi?" She asks with innocent eyes.

"Because." I frown, but my eyes are smiling. We stand and excuse ourselves from the table.

I drag Lily into the small half bathroom and close the door. As I turn around about to ask her, as politely as I can, what the hell she was doing Lily grabs me and starts kissing me… And any thought I had a second ago are gone.

I push Lily against the sink. It's times like these that I wish she wore skirts more often. The idea of pushing a black tight skirt away from her and running my hands up and up her full curvy legs makes my pants a little tight.

I suddenly have Jack Johnson's song _Girl I Wanna Lay You Down_ running 'round and 'round my head. Lily is pulling at my nice respectable collared red shirt. She is a fierce and wild. My hands rest on her hips and quickly I put her up onto the counter, only she falls into the sink.

Lily pulls away laughing and snorting…. I'm laughing at the fact she snorted. Lily looks up at me and smiles. "I was trying to put my leg in your lap, I accidentally hit your leg, sorry about that."

I just sigh and kiss her lips quickly. "You are crazy."

"But you went along with me." Lily says.

"So there's a good possibility I'm crazy too?"

"Oui my dear oui." Lily smirks. "But at least we are crazy and together… now let's get back. I really don't want my parents to find us here." Lily jumps down out of the sink. I stand still.

"Come on babe." She says.

"You go; I need to stay here for a minute." I'm trying to think of anything but Lily. I'm trying to think of nasty and non sexy things.

"Oh." She giggles. "I'll see you in a bit then." I watch her leave and splash water in my face; this is going to be a long Christmas.

After composing myself I walk back into the dinning room. Everyone is laughing at something Marty said when I sit down. Lily gives me a playful smirk and I respond by blushing and looking at my plate.

"So how's that music store of yours?" Marty asks me.

"Business is booming! I'm ordering new supplies of records, tapes, and CD's everyday." I smile at him.

"Hum? I might have to stop by sometime, I've lost my copy of The Clash's _London Calling_ album."

I nod. "Cool, come by any time the shop's hours are nine to eight."

LILY: After dinner Oliver and I head up to my old bedroom. I close the door and we throw our bags in the corner. I'm feeling tired all of a sudden. I collapse onto my old bed and smile. So many fond memories of high school and heated make out sessions with Oliver flout back to me.

Oliver lies down with me. I hear his breathing become regular and I know he's falling asleep. I turn my head over on the pillow to steal a glance at him. His eyes are closed and he's smiling. His hands are folding on his stomach.

I place my head on his shoulder and he kisses the top of my head. "Merry almost Christmas." I yawn.

And we fall asleep.

(December 25, 2018 Lily and Oliver: 27)

LILY: I'm dreaming… I'm dreaming… I'm in the ocean. I'm swimming in green blue waters. I'm wearing an old Lola wig, it's pink. I have my childhood nightgown on, which I have not worn since I was four. I see a small boat coming towards me.

I try to stay above the high water and wave the boat over. As it sails closer I can Miley sitting inside it. She's smiling at me, but it's not a pretty smile. I wave at her to let me in. I can't talk I open my mouth but water only comes out. I see Oliver sitting next to her. He looks dazed and confused. I cry out but nothing comes, more water.

I'm sinking! I'm sinking! I wave both of my hands wildly. Miley walks over to Oliver, as he sits in the corner of the boat. She leans in and… and… _kisses_ him! My blood boils! I try to swim to them, but something is pulling me down. I cry and scream and thrash the water around. But I get dragged completely under the water.

I look up to the surface and see Miley hanging over _my_ Oliver. He looks sad and afraid. I see him talking, saying something over and over: _Lily? Lily? _I can't get to him! I can't save him! Oliver! Oliver! I scream but only bubbles pour from my lips…

"Lily!"

Someone is shaking me. I wake up sweating with my heart pounding. Oliver is looking at me with worried eyes and a concerned frown.

"Are you alright?" He whispers.

"… I think so." I say a little unsure. "What time is it?"

Oliver turns over and checks the clock. "About ten in the morning."

"Come on let's just get up." I sigh throwing the covers off of me.

OLIVER: I let Lily take a shower first. Normally we have a little humorous tiff about who should take a shower first, which ends with us taking one… _together_. But she looks a little stressed right now. I don't want to feel the wrath of Lily, especially on Christmas. But as soon as I decide this I hear a very flirty voice say, "Are you coming Ollie?"

I jump off the bed with a huge grin. God I love that woman!

The water is nice and hot, steam is rising and fogging up the mirror. I'm currently washing Lily's beautiful blonde hair; I always did have a thing for blondes. She has her eyes closed and is smiling. Merry Christmas! This is the life!

Someone bangs on the door. "Come on! Lily stop hogging the shower!"

I really hate Marty. I hear Lily groan and I know she's thinking the same. We get out and dry off. I shake my head and let all the water from my hair go in different directions. Lily squeals as it hits her. I laugh and reach for my green collared shirt.

Lily is zipping up a skirt. I smirk, remembering the bathroom incident from yesterday. Marty bangs on the door again. "Come on! I really smell!"

"Shut up Marty!" Lily yells and the leans closer to the mirror and puts red lipstick on. I brush my teeth and gargle some mouth wash. We both take a moment to look at ourselves in the mirror and then we are finished.

I open the door and Marty's eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. "Ooh." He smirks. "You two… took a shower… _together_."

Lily looks a little pissed. "Bite me."

Marty chuckles. "I'll let Oliver over here take care of that for me."

I can't help it, I blush.

We walk downstairs and Mrs. Truscott is buzzing around the house. She's singing along with her Christmas CD's and I can't help but join in when I hear _Jingle Bells_, mixing it along with my own childhood version.

"Jingle Bells Batman smells Robin laid an egg!" I sing loudly, earning a good punch in the arm from Lily. But a second later I hear Lily singing. "The batmobile last its wheel and the joker ran away!"

I stick my tongue out at her as she smiles innocently. We sing together arm in arm as we walk into the kitchen.

"Please sing another song!" Marty whines coming down the stairs.

"That was a mighty fast shower." Mrs. Truscott frowns at her son. He shrugs.

Lily and I continue humming, earning us a death glare from hormonal Sherri and annoying Marty.

"Fine." Lily sighs. She is quiet for a minute before belting out _Lovefool _by the cardigans. "Love me! Love me! Say that you love me!" She laughs stealing a few flirty glances at me.

Later we open presents around a small tree. Wrapping paper is everywhere! Mr. Truscott brings out the garbage can as the paper piles up. The little kid in me wants to jump under the pile and throw it everywhere like fall leaves… but I resist the urge.

I have Lily's real present to open later, when we're in private. Although I've grown up with this family, I still feel a little awkward around them, since I'm married to their daughter. My parents are coming later for dinner, last year Lily and I spent Christmas with them. We like to mix everything up. One year here another there.

Lily and I are sitting Indian style on the floor, like little kids, as we watch everyone open their gifts. I don't think me or Lily will ever really truly grow up.

"Ok, ok! One more picture!" Mrs. Truscott bounces holding a camera.

I watch Lily groan but she nods and her mother starts flashing the camera like mad. There's a few of me and Lily lying under the tree. Some of Marty and Sherri laughing. Different poses, different moments.

"Oh nuts! I'm out of film." Mrs. Truscott frowns.

"Yes!" Lily cheers.

I pull Lily aside. "Come on, I've got something for you."

We walk down the hall to her father's study. I close the door.

"You know if you wanted to ravish me we could have just gone to my room." Lily winks at me.

"No, no I've got a present for you."

"Oh." She says. "I've got one for you too." She runs out to get it and I wait holding the small blue wrapped object in my hands.

She comes back in a moment later and closes the door. She's holding a small black box. We stand in front of one another not sure who should go first.

"Well here." Lily says finally, handing the box to me. I put hers down "It's a little weird but I found and thought about…."

I'm not listening as Lily babbles on and on. I open the box and a small golden pocket watch is what I find.

"Turn it over." Lily smiles. I do and I see engraved in the back this: _Time means nothing._

I laugh at the irony and realize it's a pure Lily gift, silly and deep all at the same time. "I love it." I tell her and she smiles, her nervousness fading.

"Well here's yours." I say.

She takes it from me and opens it slowly. Her smile widens at my humble gift. It's a snow globe. I remember a few weeks back when it caught her eye one afternoon when we were out. She went into this long story about when she was little and how she got one from a relative. (Lily's aunt, whom she was very close to until she past away years back from different causes.)

Anyway, Lily was infatuated with snow globes and thus why I bought her one, the exact one from the thrift shop. "You remembered." She laughs shaking it and watching the snow fall over the small village in the glass ball.

"Of course." I say.

She places it down and kisses me. I kiss back with a little more heat. Soon we're on the leather couch pulling at one another's clothes and kissing fiercely. And this time Lily's wearing a skirt. I push it up fast and let my hands roam her legs.

She moans in my ear and suddenly I wish we were upstairs in her room. I pull back and shake my head. "We should get back." I say getting up.

"No, no stay here. I'm sure my brother and Sherri can hold my parents off." Lily says quickly before pulling me back down to her and kissing me. I run my hand up the back of her tight red blouse. Her skin is smooth and a pleasure to touch.

This time I pull away with more force. I'm the man damn it! "Lily I really can't… not in your _dad's _office… believe me I want to. Christ, I really want to but not here. It's a little too weird."

Lily sighs and sits up. "Fine." She grumbles. I watch her fix her hair and pick up her present.

"Ready?" She asks.

I get my watch and place it in my pocket. "Sure thing."

LILY: I can't help it, really I can't. Is it my fault I have a rather healthy sexual appetite? Nope, nope. But Oliver's right, not in my dad's office. Later, we're seated back at the table with Oliver's parents. They're a funny bunch. His older brother and younger sister and here too. I've always liked them a little better then Marty.

My mom had to bring out extra chairs and everything to fit all of Oliver's siblings and their spouses at the table, not to mention their kids. But as always my mother loved every second of it. She thrives off social gatherings.

Oliver and I kept to ourselves for most of the night. I was really waiting for everyone to head home so Oliver and I could sneak up into my room and do very naughty PG-13 things to one another. Once again, not my fault about the sex drive. Oh well, I'm a lost cause.

I kiss Oliver's neck as we're sitting on the living room couch. He puts his hand on my inner thigh. Mostly everyone's in the kitchen laughing and eating. I put my legs in his lap; he pulls my heels off and rubs my feet. I close my eyes. I shiver as his hands reach my ankles.

"That's the spot." I sigh as he pushes hard on my heel. He stops I open my eyes. We're three rooms away from everyone. I spread my legs apart and Oliver slides between and lies on top of me. He kisses my weak spot, behind my ear. My legs are wrapped tightly around his waist. Yes… _Yes._

Happy Holidays.

….

I have no idea why this chapter took so long to write. I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. Also I'd like to say that Lily's dreams aren't random they foreshadow things to come. But don't take them literally, look beyond just the Miley/Oliver stuff. Anyway if anyone else realizes that I've messed things up (like dates or something) feel free to tell me. When I say leave your thoughts that means anything that happens to pop into your head while reading this… Also this is a really random question but does anyone feel weird watching the TV show after you've written a fanfic for them? Random I know but whatever. Thanks for reading, leave your thoughts.

Lazy Days


	9. She Says So

**Author's Note: **Man! That was a lot of questions CraftyNotePad! A few of them made me chuckle. Although some questions I really can't answer yet, it might take things away. Also, I want to take a poll on who would want me to go back in time and show how Lily and Oliver got together. For me and my story it can go either way. I just thought I'd ask… Oh and to the one who asked: Ick! No, I would never ever make this a Oliver/Miley story, what are you nuts?! That element is only to add more chaos in the world of Lily and Oliver. (Like they don't have enough problems.)

(December 26, 2018 Lily and Oliver: 27)

OLIVER: I turn over in bed to kiss her good morning and tell her how amazing last night was but I'm alone. I don't hear the shower running and I can't hear anyone up roaming around the house or talking. I fall back onto the pillow. She was fine! The entire car ride up she didn't travel and all day yesterday. Everything was perfect!

I take a fast shower and slip into a T-shirt with the words _Express Yourself _written on it, Lily got it for me. I start packing up our things, folding her sweaters, hats and jeans neatly together. I pick up my pocket watch and run my thumb over the smooth glass. I walk downstairs and see the family at the table drinking coffee eating pancakes.

"Oh, good morning Oliver!" Mrs. Truscott smiles merrily.

"Hey." I greet dryly.

"Where's Lily?" Her dad asks.

I shrug. "Off."

The family stops. "When? What time? Do you know where?" They start asking. Sherri is the only one looking slightly confused.

"I don't know I woke up today and she wasn't there." I look down at my bare feet. "I never know where she goes until she comes back."

"Well we should just wait then. Just stay calm… ok Deb?" Mr. Truscott states looking at his wife with a worried expression.

"I just hate that this happens." She sniffs sitting down next to her husband. I hear the front door open. I run and see Lily walking inside whistling and wearing a long gray coat that goes down to her knees.

"Hey!" I grin hugging her. "Where'd you get this?" I say pointing to the coat.

Lily smiles. "I stole it."

"What?!" We hear her mother shouts from behind us.

Lily groans. "Mom, please the next time you wake up in a pile of snow on the side of the street you tell me what you'd do."

Her mother's angry expression changes quickly. "Sorry Lily… where were you?"

"Christmas 1998. I had a glass of hot chocolate with myself. I was a cute little kid wasn't I?" Lily laughs as we walk into the kitchen.

Just before I walk inside Lily pulls me aside. "We need to see Doctor Brown." She says sternly.

"What? But come on it was one time I mean you've been so good for-" I try and convince her but she shakes her head.

"It's getting worse. It hurts."

"What?" I say my breath getting caught in my throat.

"When I travel it hurts, so much more then it use too. It's like I'm crushing under this invisible weight. My head is pounding."

She's scaring me, but I have to be brave, for myself and for my Lily. I put my arm around her. "We'll go tomorrow. Let's just get through the day. I've got your things packed and ready. We can leave soon."

Lily nods. We walk into the kitchen and Lily smiles a pretty smile for her family. It's so convincing that I stop and ponder: How many times as she lied to me? Is she holding something back? … No, no Lily would tell me, she would.

(January 5, 2019 Lily and Oliver: 27)

LILY: Cindy is sitting with her legs crossed. Her notepad is out and she is jotting down everything I tell her.

"Do you have difficulty sleeping?" Her voice flat and tired.

"Sometimes, yes."

"Is there a particular time of day you tend to disappear?"

"Not really. It's all different times."

"Do you get headaches?"

"Yes."

"Migraines?"

I'm getting annoyed. "Yes." I say. We've been over these same questions a million times.

"What is it?" Cindy asks picking up on my irritated tone.

"Where is this getting me?"

Cindy puts her pen down and takes off her square glasses. "This takes _time_."

"Well I don't have _time_!"

"Listen! Your answers are changing. Two years ago you didn't have migraines, you didn't have that much trouble sleeping. And now you do. It's different you're changing. Your symptoms are getting worse."

"Don't you think I know that!" I snap back at her. "I can't control myself anymore."

"We can try another head scan?" Cindy offers. "Or maybe…" She trails off, I can tell by the way her eyes drift off her mouth turns down that she's in deep thought.

"I'm going to clone your genes, I'll have my partners and I put them into mice. We're going to experiment. We're done fooling around Lily."

"Fine." I check my watch, I need to go. I stand up but too much blood rushes to my head too fast. I close my eyes and sit back down.

"Are you alright?" Cindy asks.

"Just a little light headed." I say with my eyes closed and my fingers pressing into the middle of my forehead where it hurts. I hear Cindy's black pen scribble something down. I take deep breathes, it will pass soon enough.

OLIVER: I'm sorting through a few of our bookcases. I need to find my book full of German poetry/quotes. I'm in the mood for some… Aha! Found it! Good old Rilke. I'm flipping through the book and dancing around the house when I hear Lily laughing from behind me. Shit.

"Well, well am I missing a party?"

I frown at her and close the book. She walks over and takes it from me. We have both bookmarked our favorite pages. My marks are yellow hers are blue. Lily flips it open and turns to a green bookmark which is a quote we both enjoy. She begins reading with a ponderous look on her face.

_"We know that we love each other from a time before the earth began, from a childhood before all the ages of being, we love each other from the womb of existence, as the stars would love one another if they knew of their splendor..." _-_Rilke and Benvenuta: an Intimate Correspondence_

We smile and Lily closes the book and sets it on my armchair. "Let's go out tonight. Like… dancing or something."

I give her a funny look. "What? Why? How was your visit with Brown?"

"Crap, total crap." She growls.

"You two fight again?"

"Of course! Now let's go out! I'm sick of moping around."

I can deny her nothing. We get dressed up, I haven't gone out dancing since the Hannah concert days and I miss it a little. Lily is wearing a skin tight lilac dress. She looks very good and I tell her so. We might be approaching thirty but I think we look like a sexy young couple, if I do say so myself.

Lily and I have always been drawn to the retro clubs, when it comes to dancing. They play all the greats ranging from hard core punk from the 80's and late 70's to the crap they call music now. Teens today have no clue.

We stand in line for a moment. I have my arms wrapped around Lily and my head resting on her shoulder. I'm excited and extremely nervous all at the same time. What if she disappears? What if we get lost in the crowd. But as we near the entrance Lily kisses me and my worries are no more.

Once we're in I can hear the Artic Monkeys _I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor_ blaring. Lily grabs my arm and we throw ourselves into the beat. She runs her fingernails deep into my shaggy hair and messes it up. I kiss her cheek and put my hands on her hips, pressing her against me fully. Although these guys up front singing aren't the real band it doesn't matter.

I'm loosing myself here. Lily was right, moping is no fun. I twirl her around fast and her blonde hair whips across my face. We are pressed up against one another and dozens of other people. My mouth is going dry and I'm sweating. The drummer is wild. He is beating the drums harder and harder, building up tension.

The lead guitarist laughs out and screams into the microphone and then the song slows and everything stops. I'm breathing hard and I watch Lily's chest move up and down quickly before asking her, "Drinks?" She nods and we weave our way through the thick crowd.

"Having fun yet?" She smirks as we sit at a booth.

"Actually yes, you?"

"The best." She says sincerely. I lean in and kiss her roughly and she does not protest. Suddenly I'm eighteen again and I can hear a distant DJ put in _Spanish Bombs_…

LILY: We get home around midnight. Oliver and I are laughing and holding each other especially close. He unlocks the door and pulls me inside. I don't bother with the light; I attack him with kisses. But someone else turns on the lights.

We both snap apart. Another me is standing watching us intensely, she runs to Oliver and clings to him sobbing. "Oliver! Oliver!" She cries. She is wearing my large red shirt, the one I normally wear to bed.

Oliver holds her close and pets her head trying to clam the other me down. But she won't let go. Instead she keeps saying over and over, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" I blurt out wanting, nay demanding some answers. She looks at me; she doesn't look younger or much older, maybe just a few days ahead of me. I'm glaring at her.

I pull her away from Oliver's gentle touch, much to her dismay. I hold her tightly by the upper arms. "Tell me." I hiss.

My face is merely inches from hers. I don't mind getting beaten up by the cruelty of my disease. But if something is bound to happen to _my _Oliver, well I'll be damned in letting that happen.

She shakes her head, I shake her. "Tell me! Right now!"

"Whoa! Lily calm down." Oliver says softly putting a hand on my shoulder.

"No! I change my mind! I change my mind!" I yell at the other me. "I want to know things! I want to know what happens to him, please." I begging myself. She opens her mouth, but disappears. My hands are still outstretched.

"Lily? What was that about?" Oliver asks.

"I don't know… I really don't know."

…..

Hummm? Confused? Perfect! My next chapter will (hopefully) be a good one. I got a brand new idea and had to (yet again) rewrite my story outline. **Note to fellow writers:** Don't ever do a time traveling story; it will drive you fucking crazy! Lave your thoughts.


	10. Please and Thankyou

**Author's Note:** … Yeah CraftyNotePad, it was the "cookies" in Oliver's fanny pack. (That was very funny by the way.) Ok now here are the answers to the questions I felt burning your cranium, well not all the answers.

…..

(January 5, 2019 Lily and Oliver: 27)

OLIVER: "I know you don't want to talk about it but please, Lily what is going on?"

I watch her hands ball up into fists. "I promised myself long ago that if we were ever to see one another in another time we wouldn't tell one another what was going on."

I can't understand this. "But why?"

"Knowing the future isn't always good Oliver." She snaps at me. "But when it evolves someone getting hurt… if it evolves you getting hurt, I could never forgive myself." Her expression softens and I take her hand.

"But you would always tell _me_ if you ever found something out from the future, right?" I say looking at her closely.

Lily drops my hand.

My face falls.

"Lily? What haven't you been telling me?"

She is suddenly very quiet.

"Lily, answer me!"

"Look Oliver some things you just don't really need to know."

My temper boils. "What the _hell_ is that suppose to mean? I'm your husband! I thought I was helping you, are you not telling Doctor Brown things too? Or is it just me who is in the dark?"

"Calm down Oliver!"

"No! No I won't! Tell me, what do you know?!" I'm getting very pissed. She's not going to tell me. I can't be here anymore! I grab my coat and slam the door; it feels good making a loud noise.

"Oliver wait!" Lily is running after me but I don't want to talk. I need to blow off some steam. "Oliver I just can't tell you! Can't you trust me?!"

We are standing out on the sidewalk. The sun is setting and it's getting very cold. I turn around and glare daggers at her. "I don't know! Why can't you trust me with our future?"

Lily lets out a frustrated groan. "Because Oliver! I don't want you to know!"

I'm not listening anymore. I'm walking across the street shaking my head and getting more angrier by the second. What could be so horrible that she wouldn't want me to know? What could she… Oh God. I turn to Lily, she's crying.

I begin walking over to her but I hear a thump. In the middle of the street is another Lily. She's lying on the ground unaware that a car is speeding right to her. I run to her.

"Lily! Lily!" I'm waving my arms. I can't loose her this way! She stands slowly and looks blankly as the car comes to her. I pick up my pace and my out stretched hands come in contact with her hip.

I push her over letting her land hard on the grass next to the street. I slip, tumbling over my own feet.

LILY: I'm standing on the over side of the sidewalk watching the scene unfold. I cry out for Oliver to stop but he doesn't hear me. I watch him push the other me away from a speeding car, but in doing so I see him slip.

My heart is pounding and I run out to stop the car. But I'm too late! I hear a loud crunch and a sound escape from Oliver's mouth I've never heard from any other human being. It's a loud cry of pure agony.

Tears are streaming down my face. I can't breathe. Oliver! Oliver! I run over. The car stops a few blocks down. A tall man comes out and stares at us. The other me is sobbing in the grass just before I watch her vanish.

Oliver's face is scrunched up and red. His breath is ragged and irregular. "My… ankle" He hisses out in pain. I bend down next to him and hold his head to my chest.

"Call an ambulance!" I yell to the tall man from the other car. He grabs his cell phone and dials.

"I'm sorry Oliver, I'm so sorry." I whisper into his ear.

"It… _hurts_." He whimpers.

"Shh." I say running my fingers through his hair. Oliver doesn't deserve this. Oliver doesn't deserve _this_!

…I'm sitting in the waiting room later with Miley and Jake. My head is in my hands. When I look up I see Miley frowning at me from across the room. Her eyes flash dangerously. I gulp.

"Miley?" I choke out.

"Don't talk to me." She snarls. Jake puts an arm around Miley only to have her shrug it off.

Something inside me snaps. "Get out!" I say standing and pointing to the exit. "I don't want you here!"

Miley gets up slowly and frowns while crossing her arms over her chest. "I can be here if I want to! Oliver is my friend."

"Oliver is my husband! And I don't you here! You have not right to judge me!"

She just stares at me. I want to shout. I want to strangle her. I would never _ever_ hurt Oliver on purpose. I see Miley unfold her arms and walk closer to me. I look over to see Jake with a worried expression on his face.

Miley opens her mouth to say something.

"Mrs. Oken?"

The two of us turn around.

"Me." I say walking over to him.

"Your husband is doing fairly well considering the circumstances. His ankle was badly wounded and it seems that he'll need to use a cane to get around for a little while. We've just put a cast around his ankle now and he's asking for you."

The doctor leads me to room 254. He opens the door and I walk inside. I hate hospitals! The door closes and it's just the two of us. I don't know how to act or what to say.

"Come here." He whispers picking up on my unsure presences. "And don't say your sorry. Just lay with me a while."

I nod and get into the bed with him. We adjust positions a few times before we get comfortable and then there's silence. I have my head on his chest. I can hear his heart beat.

"You had me really worried Ollie."

"I had to save you." He says.

"Thank-you."

"No biggie." He chuckles.

The door opens interrupting our moment. It's Jake. "Hey man." He says. Oliver waves. "Listen Miley and I are going to head home. All my best, get better soon." Jake looks very frazzled. His eyes are a little red and I wonder if he was crying. Did he and Miley get into a fight?

I stayed the night at the hospital. I couldn't bear leaving him. The next morning I wake to a nurse bustling around the room and opening up the shades. Oliver and I eat jell-o and I sign him out. We take a taxi back to the house.

(January 12, 2019 Lily and Oliver: 27)

OLIVER: Walking around with a cane is a tiresome hassle. Getting around the music shop is pure murder. Lily has been picking up most of the slake. She hasn't traveled in a while. I'm proud of her. She hasn't mentioned our argument yet, I feel like she's a ticking bomb and at any minute she'll explode. I just wish she would tell me things, I wish she'd let me in. But mostly I wish she would touch me like she use to before the accident.

LILY: Oliver's doing really well with his cane. I've been a reek. I'm scared to touch him or kiss him. I can't even look at him without feeling guilt rise up and choke me. It's because of me that he's like these. I can't let it go.

"Lily?"

I'm running around the shop organizing different categories.

"What?" I say digging through the piles of CD's.

"Come here." He tells me sitting off in the corner.

"Can't, really busy." I say running off to check the balance book by the cash register.

"Please." He begs. "I'm getting lonely.

I feel a pang of grief hit me. "I'm sorry Oliver." And then I walk quickly into the back office area.

OLIVER: I just want to see her smile. I just want to hear her laugh. I get up slowly and limp into the office with her and close the door behind me. She is sitting in a chair looking through the old documents.

"Please Lily; I'm fine now you don't have to feel guilty. Nothing is your fault." She looks up to me and frowns.

"Of course it's my fault! Oliver you could have died!"

"But I didn't the car only hit my ankle! It's ok Lily…" I try out my gentle tone. I'm reaching for her hand. But she turns me away.

"Hello? Anyone here?"

Lily jumps from her seat and runs to greet the customer. I sigh, defeated, and sit down. Later by the time we get home I have a plan. Lily puts her purse away and sheds her coat. I walk slowly into the kitchen and start making dinner. I pull out the wine we bought last week at the new French restaurant.

Lily looks at me strangely. "I could have made dinner, you should rest."

"Lily, just shut-up and let me do this."

For once she obeys, I thank my lucky stars.

She watches me cook dinner and helps get things for me. I mix the sauce and she stirs the noodles. I steal a few quick glances at her. Lily has her hair pulled up in a messy bun. She's not wearing any make-up today. I see a few lines growing under her eyes and I notice just how thin she's gotten.

I put my hand on her shoulder. She sighs under its contact. I move behind her and whisper in her ear. "I've missed you Lily… where have you been?" I feel her shiver, perfect, perfect.

"_Proud of my broken heart since thou didst break it,_

_Proud of the pain I did not feel till thee,_

_Proud of my night since thou with moons dost slake it,_

_Not to partake thy passion, my humility."_ I finish the poem and wait.

"Emily Dickinson." Lily smiles, and as she does my heart is no longer broken like out dear Emily. I kiss her and she is resistant at first. I feel a burst of urgency to rediscover her body. I go slowly; Lily pulls away and shakes her head.

"Oliver I just… it's just."

"Lily I don't care, please just be with me _here_ don't think about the past, present, or future. You are here with me… that's all that matters."

She kisses me fully and I grin against her lips, and just like that my girl is back.

(February 17, 2019 Lily and Oliver: 27)

LILY: I haven't time traveled in seventeen days. My body isn't so tired anymore. I have time to spend lazing about with Oliver. I have time to sleep and eat. Happy day! Jake has asked me out this evening. Over the phone he told me he had something important to ask me.

Oliver is staying home to crunch the numbers for our store and I'm in our bedroom applying a little lipstick. As I walk out Oliver whistles. I blush, "Well he's taking me to some fancy place, and I mean he _is _Jake Ryan after all."

Oliver frowns. "I don't care who the hell that guy is he better keep his hands to himself." I laugh.

"Are we jealous?" I ask making myself comfortable in Oliver's lap.

"A little, maybe… what's so important that he has to take you away from me for the entire evening?"

I shrug. "Who knows, probably something stupid. I'll try to get away as fast as I can and then you and I can…" I tail off winking at him.

Oliver kisses me and just when I'm about to slip him a little tongue the doorbell rings.

"Damn doorbell, always an evil omen." Oliver grips as I get up off his lap to answer it. Oliver follows me slowly.

"Hey Jake." I smile

He nods.

"Ready to go?" I ask.

"Sure." He mutters. I give Oliver a kiss on the cheek and grab my purse and jacket.

"Have her home at a reasonable hour Ryan!" I hear Oliver shout after us.

"Goodbye babe!" I wave from the car.

The restaurant is Italian. We order and sit in an uncomfortable silence. Jake stumbles over meaningless topics: Work and upcoming projects, and James. I nod and add little comments when I can. It isn't until we are finishing up that he gets to the point.

"I know this is going to sound a little crazy… and I'm not even sure if you'll answer me but I that I'd at least try."

I wait, my hands clasped in my lap. I watch as Jake let's out a shaky breath.

"Does she…. Does she leave me?" His voice is soft and small, much like a child's. I'm so blown away that I can't think for a minute. What the hell?

"Jake… I'm not sure I fully understand what you want from me?" I say slowly.

"You know the future Lily, I know you've seen us… does Miley leave me?" He is determined now.

"I can't tell you… it's not right."

"Please, Lily please I beg you." His eyes are so sad, so lost. "I love her."

"Why would you think she would leave you?" I ask.

"… Oliver." Jake mutters. "She loves Oliver. And she thinks that if you were gone he would love her too. But don't hate her Lily, please."

I can't breathe. I've always suspected but hearing it out loud is a haunting realization. "How do you know?" I say dumbly.

"I'm not stupid, or blind. I know she's loved him for a long time."

"But you guys seem so happy."

"Content. We are content Lily; we don't have what you and Oliver have. The way you look at him and the way he looks at you is just… amazing. You two are so in tune with what the other wants… that kind of love is beyond normal couples. It comes once."

After he finishes I watch Jake fiddle with his wedding. I envy married couples who get to wear theirs. I have only worn my ring once. I can't time travel with it, my ring sits in my jewelry box.

"She doesn't… she doesn't leave you."

Jake gives a sigh of relief. I can see the weight lifting from his chest. He smiles and stops touching his ring.

"In fact you have two other children." As I say this Jake laughs.

"Really?"

"A boy and a girl." I nod.

"Lily just… thank-you. I know it's been hard with Miley being so… strange. She loves you; she's just going through a phase… wait what about you Lily? What happens with you?"

I' am silent.

"… Lily?"

I look out the window. Knowing, knowing is a terrible cross to bare…

When I get home the lights are dimmed. Oliver has put on Al Green's _Let's Stay Together_. I can't help but laugh as I take off my coat. There are a few lavender scented candles lit and I find Oliver limping out of the kitchen. I have to admit Oliver with a cane is a little sexy.

He smiles at me and takes my hand to kiss it. "Welcome home love."

"Glad to be here."

"How was dinner?"

For about a second I consider telling him everything, but why waste the evening? "A little dull."

"What did the movie star want?"

I draw a blank. "Doesn't matter. Come here."

We come together and I put my forehead to his chest. His blue t-shirt is soft from the fabric softener I bought last week. His hair is a little shaggy but not as long as it was in high school. But Oliver's eyes, his are still the same dark shade of brown I'm known since childhood. They have not grown cold or sad from the hardships we have endured. He is still the same. He is mine.

"I love you." I say quietly as we pull apart.

"Love you too." He smiles kissing my head.

May neither time nor death take me from you…

…..

I'm loving everyone's reviews, I'm very lucky to have such wonderful readers. Leave your thoughts. Also, I'm not trying to make Miley out to be the bad guy in this. Things will come together in that department, promise.

Lazy Days


	11. Suggestively

**Author's Note: **My favorite poet is Robert Frost so of course I had to throw a little bit of his poetry somewhere in this story. The only problem is that he has very few (if any) romantic poems. So thus the beginning of this chapter. Also I hope everyone is enjoying the couple of poems I've been putting into the story. Anyway I'm babbling on about stuff that doesn't matter. I love hearing from you, my faithful readers, so please keep the intriguing comments coming. Thank-you and happy reading.

…..

(September 28, 2009 Lily and Oliver: 18)

LILY: I'm sitting in English class. Mrs. Samson is writing a poem down on the black board. I look up from my notes and read it slowly. It's _Blue-Butterfly Day_ by Robert Frost.

"_It is blue-butterfly day here in spring,  
And with these sky-flakes down in flurry on flurry  
There is more unmixed color on the wing  
Than flowers will show for days unless they hurry._

But these are flowers that fly and all but sing:  
And now from having ridden out desire  
They lie closed over in the wind and cling  
Where wheels have freshly sliced the April mire."

I have a book full of Frost poetry… maybe if I bring it in and show Mrs. Samson I'll get some kind of credit for being a well educated reader. I grin at the thought. I tap my pencil on the side of the desk and hum quietly. Its sixth period and I can't wait to get out of here.

My head starts hurting a little, but I dismiss it. My stomach twists up in itself. I feel sick.

"Mrs. Samson!" I shout. "Can I please go to the restroom!"

The gray haired woman turns and glares at me. "No, now sit still Miss. Truscott."

Shit, shit! I clutch my sides, I'm in pure agony! I can't vanish in the middle of class!

"Please… I…. ah Christ!" I bend over and put my head between my legs. I hear a few sinkers from my fellow classmates. I try breathing in and out slowly but my head is tingling and my eye site is getting fuzzy.

"Miss. Truscott! Contain yourself!"

I groan, this hurts! "For the love of God!" I shout standing and running out the door. I don't care about stupid Mrs. Samson. Just as I reach the bathroom door, I'm gone.

(September 28, 2011 Lily: 18/ 20)

LILY: I'm on a red rug. It's nice and cozy. Standing up I cover my chest and look around. The apartment is very small. It consists of a couch/bed and there is a tiny refrigerator off to the side. There are exactly two windows and I see another door that leads to the bathroom.

It's a warm and full of bookcases that are stuffed with novels. I fumble through a dresser and find a cute top and pants. This must be my apartment. Who else has this great sense of style? The door opens.

An older me is carrying a grocery bag and humming.

"Hey me!" I wave.

"Jesus!" She shouts dropping her bag. "Don't scare me like that." I help her pick things up and put it all away. There's bottled water, toilet paper, apples, toothpaste, condoms, fruit snacks, bread… Hold the phone! Condoms? I've got a man!

I hold the blue box up to the older me and she blushes. "Sorry." She mutters taking them away from me. "You weren't supposed to see that, not good for your young eyes."

I snort. "I'm not that young."

She takes a moment and looks me up and down. "You're… eighteen right?"

"Wow, I've got skills." I smile at her.

We share a laugh and suddenly the door bursts open. "Ok Lily! I got your message!"

The two of us turn around and older Oliver is standing with us. He looks good in his tight dark blue t-shirt.

"Whoa." He says stopping and staring at us. "So… you're Lily from what?"

"The past." I sigh putting the bread away. "So we're still friends in the future?" I ask getting excited.

Older me and Oliver share a smirk. "Oui, very good… friends." Oliver smiles walking over to future me and kissing her on the cheek. I stop dead in my tracks.

"No way!" I bounce happily. "We get… I mean you and me… No way!"

I'm so happy! I'm light as air! I'm… disappearing.

(September 28, 2009 Lily and Oliver: 18)

OLIVER: I feel bad for Lily. I watched her almost faint here in class and I had to do everything in power to stay in my seat and not run to her. It's hard being around her now that I know her dark secret. I want for her to let me in, that or kiss me.

The future Lily did say it would happen around now. I'm still waiting and debating weather or not I should just make the first move, but then that might change the course of history. I really don't want to mess anything up.

Mrs. Samson is at her desk writing up a report on Lily for leaving the class when not permitted. If she only knew. The classroom door opens and a happy Lily skips inside. She winks at me and smiles. I blush and stare at my shoes.

A few students begin whispering and pointing but Lily simply sits down, ignoring everyone.

"There you are! Miss. Truscott I'm sending you to the principal's office. Mr. Oken, if you would, walk her down to the front office. I know that Miss. Truscott has a knack for disappearing on school grounds."

Lily and I chuckle, disappearing is right. I take the blue slip from Mrs. Samson and Lily and I walk out.

"You ok?" I ask once we're out of the classroom.

"Never better." She grins at me.

I feel my heart skip a beat and I quickly curse my shyness. As we walk down the hall in silence I feel Lily reach for my hand. I let her take it and soon we're both smiling like a couple of idiots.

I'm not sure where this whole hand holding thing leaves us but I'm just going to enjoy the sensation as long as I can.

LILY: Oliver, Oliver, Oliver, I can't help but shiver a little whenever his name is mentioned. I love his goofy grin and deep laugh. I like his hands, their warm and hold promises.

It doesn't matter that I'm getting sent to the principal's office for the third time this week because I'm holding his hand with the reassurance that he will always be here. And that he understands my disability.

As we enter the office Oliver drops off the slip. He squeezes my hand tightly and whispers, "Good luck."

"Ah yes, Miss. Truscott." Principal Ernest smiles as I sit down. "What is it this time?"

"I had to use the restroom and Mrs. Samson refused my request so I left."

Mr. Ernest strokes his mustache and sighs. "You know I have to give you detention for this?"

"I understand." I say calmly. I've had detentions so many times through out my high school years that is doesn't bother me anymore. Ah the fall back on being a time traveler, tisk, tisk.

I walk out of the office just as the end of the day school bell rings. I find Oliver sitting on a bench outside of the office.

"You waited?"

"Of course!" He smiles getting up. "I wanted to know the verdict."

"Detention, as usual."

We begin walking to our lockers. He pulls his hand out of his pocket and takes mine. I shudder with a girlish delight.

"Hey y'all!" Miley smiles running up to us. We quickly let go of each other's hands. "I heard you got in trouble again Lily! What's going on with you?"

I shrug. "Mrs. Samson is just a jerk."

Oliver laughs as Miley frowns. "She's your teacher."

"Oh please, for once try not to be the better person." I tell Miley as I grab my books. "Well I'm off to room 254."

I leave Miley and Oliver and walk off by myself, down the deserted hallway…

OLIVER: I say good bye to Miley and hang around the school's court yard for a little while. I want to wait for Lily. I want to walk home with her. My car is currently in the repair shop, it's what I get from trying to teach my younger sister to drive.

I plant myself on a picnic table and pull out my school work. There's math, English, French, time to get started. An hour or so later I spot Lily trudging out of the front of the school. She looks a little sad and her hair is falling out of her pony tail.

"Hey Lily!" I quickly throw my things inside my back and chase after her.

"You're still here?"

I nod and try to hide a blush creeping up my cheeks. When the hell did I become so whipped? "Is that a bad thing?"

"No way! I love having your company."

We start down the sidewalk. I tell her about my day. I tell her about the French exam I most likely failed and about the history paper I have to write. As I'm about to ask her about her day she kisses me.

I stop dead in my tracks and pull her closer. My backpack is long forgotten, lying on the ground. I wrap my arms around her; I've waited a year for this I'm not going to pull away too quickly.

She smiles against my lips and I realize just how good she tastes. Like strawberries, fresh and sweet. My hands roam up to her hair; I pull her pony tail out and her blonde locks fall down.

The world is spinning and moving but we are so still. I love her, I love her. Lily is the first to pull away.

"I just… I just wanted to know what it would be like." She blushes, looking away.

"Did I ever mention I love you curiosity?"

"Well curiosity killed the cat." She replies lamely. I don't care I kiss her again. I know she will be my last kiss. She will be the woman of my present and future. And suddenly I can't wait.

LILY: "So does this mean you're my boyfriend?" I ask him as we walk to our neighborhood hand in hand.

"Only if you'll be my girlfriend." Oliver answers.

"Deal!" I smile and we do out secret handshake that we've had ever since we were kids. I kiss him again and walk inside my front door. It's strange, love is a strange thing I feel light, airy maybe. I walk into my kitchen humming and find my mother flipping through her magazine.

"Lovely day isn't it?" I sigh dreamily.

"Lily? This can't be my Lily?" Mom teases. "Oh! Marty called, he's going to bring a girl home this weekend. I can't wait to meet her!"

I roll me eyes. "She's probably a flake like the rest of them."

Mom scowls. "You have to promise to be nice. Her name is Sherri Miller."

"Flake!"

"Lily!"

"… Sorry."

"Anything interesting happen at school today? Other then getting detention." She asks.

"Hey! I was traveling and Mrs. Samson wouldn't let me leave the room. I'm not about to have the entire student body know my secret… and well not that it's a big deal or anything… but uhh…" I can't help it I'm blushing. "Oliver and I are a 'thing' now."

My mother drops her magazine.

"Now don't go nuts mom."

She stands up from the table her eyes huge and mouth wide open, wait for it…. Wait for it.

"OH MY GOD!" She squeals. "This is so exciting! I knew you two would come to your senses sooner or later!"

Soon my mother is dragging me around the kitchen table. She is singing and smiling. We dance around the kitchen laughing until my dad finds us.

(September 30, 2009 Lily and Oliver: 18)

OLIVER: Lily has asked me to meet her down by the beach. I arrive a little late (damn traffic) and find her lying on a purple towel.

"Hey." I smile plopping down next to her. I lean in to kiss her and she pulls back. Oh man.

"Oliver I have something very important to discuss with you." She's using her serious tone and face. I sit up straighter and nod for her to go on.

"This will affect our relationship greatly."

I wait, knowing what's coming.

"I well this is going to sound crazy but I can travel… through time. I'm a time traveler."

I take her hands and smile warmly at her as the sun sets into the purple sky. "I know."

"You what?" She frowns letting my hands go.

"I've know for a really long time now."

"How?"

"You came to me last year and told me yourself."

"Huh?"

"You basically fell into my bed naked and told me, you were thirty five by the way, that you could time travel."

Lily is silent for a minute. "So that means your ok with this? This means you still want to be with me?"

"Through thick and thin." I say and kiss her cheek.

"… Did I look good at thirty five?"

I laugh. "You looked wonderful… very sexy."

"Well alright!" Lily cheers and kisses me.

(November 3, 2009 Lily and Oliver: 18)

LILY: Normally when a couple begins dating they go out and talk about each other's interests. They try to see if they are compatible and if there's any chemistry. But Oliver and I have known each other for eighteen years. We already know everything about each other. So we spend most of our time discovering each other's lips, necks, ears…

So fair the experimentation is going quiet well.

Miley seems fine with our relationship. I told her right after Oliver and I came to our parents, they reacted almost the same way my mother did. So far we've kept it low key. Things are mostly the same, except the hand holding when walking to class. But mostly we don't like public displays of affection. We usually just make-out in the janitor's closet before and after classes.

Oliver and I are a very non conventional couple. We aren't _cute_ like Jake and Miley who have been going out for what seems like forever. We are the down to earth couple who do whatever and say whatever. We are comfortable with each other and that's the only way I'd have it.

I'm standing back stage cheering Hannah on as Oliver stuffs his face with the buffet.

"Hey come on Oliver leave some for the people who are actually working tonight." I say turning to him with my hands on my hips.

"Sorry, free food is just a little too good to pass up." He says putting down the chocolate cookie.

"Hey guys!" We both look and see Jake running up to us.

"Great." We sigh together.

"So how's _Hannah _doing tonight?"

"Fine." I sigh looking at my watch. I like Jake he's cool it's just that he has a tendency to random on and on about how great Miley and his relationship is and how 'totally and completely in love they are.' It's enough to make anyone who isn't a sappy romantic want to puke.

"Wow, look how great she looks tonight." Jake sighs smiling and leaning against the wall.

"Yeah, yeah she's a gem." I say. "… Hey Ollie you wanna get some air?" I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively.

"Huh? Oh! Sure thing." We walk away leaving dumb struck Ryan behind.

OLIVER: It's times like these I realize how wonderful she is. I've never felt this way about anyone else I've dated. When we kiss or touch it's like my skin catches fire. I get a weird jumpy feeling in my stomach when she laughs. I can't get enough of her, she's a drug, she's intoxicating, no memorizing.

Her purple Lola wig is getting in my way. I've got Lily pressed up against the cement wall. We are far away from everyone, there's no one around. I want to run my fingers through her blonde hair, but I don't want to blow our cover, just in case someone does happen to find us.

Instead I run my hands down her sides to her hips. Her green colored nails are digging into my head. She's gripping my hair as I hold her tighter. We are kissing and not thinking about anything else.

I concentrate on her strawberry lips. I think about her long eyelashes as they kiss my cheeks. I consider breaking away and biting her neck. My teenage urges take over and I pry my lips from hers and begin attacking her neck, her collarbone.

Everything is going so fast. We've never had control over our make-our sessions. Normally someone always finds us, but we are in a faraway dark corner. I can barely see Lily through the dim light that is shinning a little farther down the hallway. Hannah Montana's band is playing loud I can hear the screams of loyal fans.

I pull away, I have to stop. "L… Lily?"

She is breathing hard and leans her head against my chest. "Humm?"

"We should get back."

I feel her nod. "Sure just let me fix my wig and make-up." I let her go and she falls back on the wall and breaths out. "You are one hell of a kisser Somkin' Oken."

"I learn from the best." I smile.

(November 19, 2009 Oliver: 18 and Lily: 20)

OLIVER: The house is mine for the day. My parents have taken my brother and sister to the park for the afternoon. I was planning on going out with Lily but her parents told me she was gone. She disappeared early in the morning.

I'm on the couch, bored out of my skull. Miley is out with Jake and all the other kids I know are gone for the holidays. I let out a sigh and go up to my room, maybe I can start on the English report for that German poet.

_Thump!_

Whipping my head around I see Lily lying on the kitchen floor. I grab the blanket that is sitting on my couch and walk to her.

"Hey." I smile, not looking at her.

She takes the blanket and stands up, she smiles at me. "Hey babe."

I swallow hard. "H-Hi." I still haven't gotten use to naked Lily.

"So what's up?"

"Not much." I say quickly.

"Ok." She replies slowly giving me a funny look. "Wait Oliver you do know about my… problem right?"

"Oh! Yeah it's just umm hey let's sit on the couch."

We sit down and I stare at my feet.

"Well not that this isn't load of fun but come on! Let's do something!" Lily pouts.

I can think of at least a dozen things I wouldn't mind doing but none of them are very gentlemanly. "Sure, what do you want to do?"

Lily gives me a sly smile she scouts closer to me on the couch. My breath gets caught up in my throat. "L-Lily?"

She puts her small hand on my inner thigh. What the fu- She kisses me. I' am speechless. I grab her and pull her into my lap roughly she giggles. The brown blanket is wrapped tightly around her and I'm itching to get it off.

I put a hand on her bare shoulder and run it up her neck to play with her ear. She shivers and adjusts her position on my lap. I stop kissing her.

"We… we should stop." I say. Her legs are apart and she is leaning into me making me a little too comfortable.

"Why?" She asks her face scrunching up.

"Because… because?" Is she seriously going to make me explain?

"Oh puff so what." She says putting a hand on my belt buckle and begins to undo it.

"Lily!" I shout pushing her off of me. What the hell is she thinking!?

"Oh I'm so sorry! Oliver how old are you?" She says blushing from embarrassment.

"I'm eighteen." I mutter.

"Shit! Shit I'm really sorry I just assumed you were I mean… oh I thought you were older is all."

I give her a funny look. "How old are you?"

"Twenty." She sighs getting up off the floor and sitting next to me.

"And what were you and I doing before you time traveled." I ask carefully.

"Well I mean it's… " She is completely red. I can't help but laugh. "Anyway it was my fault I shouldn't be taking advantage of you."

"You defiantly were not taking advantage of me, really you weren't. You're very pretty Lily." I smile.

She grins in return and leans in to kiss me but stops. "Sorry I forgot."

I don't care I take her chin and bring her to me and kiss her. She sighs in my mouth and climbs back into my lap. She begins unbuttoning my shirt and I don't stop her. This Lily is new to me.

Normally my Lily would blush and turn away if anything like this stated happening. But here as a twenty year old she is taking full control. Lily's skin is as soft as I thought it would be. The blanket is down and I see everything.

I carry her to my bedroom and close the door. We are fast and slow at the same time. I'm a little clumsy and new to this ritual. But the future Lily seems perfectly happy. She smiles up at me and I kiss her cheek and tell her she is perfect.

"I love you Oliver."

"I love you too Lily."

I'm holding her closely to me and we are humming a silly tune and staring up at the ceiling. She buries her head in my chest and closes her eyes. I lean my cheek on her head. We are tangled together and then she is gone. I get up wash my sheets and take a shower. I miss her already.

……

I never really planned on showing Oliver's first time but the idea hit me and I thought 'What the hell!' I would appreciate everyone's in put so leave your thoughts and have a lovely day.

Lazy Days


	12. Summer of '99

**Author's Note: **I loved writing the bottom half, the part near the end. I spent a lot of time thinking it through, and of course listening to a hell of a lot of Jimmy Eat World's song _My Sundown_. I'm very pleased to hear everyone is still holding on and reading. And yes CraftyNotePad my memory had lapsed. I really needed that boost of encouragement. These last few chapters have been spent building up Oliver and Lily's relationship. I needed to get away from the scientific part of the story. I wanted you guys to really feel the eternal love they have for one another. And if you haven't picked up on it yet this chapter should clear the skies for you. Yes, it's more fluff.

…..

(November 12, 2020 Lily and Oliver: 29)

LILY: Oliver and I are taking it easy. Its early evening and we have nothing worth talking about at the moment. I'm curled up next to him and listening to his heart beat. The heat is on and I'm as comfy and cozy as a bear in hibernation.

I'm a little hungry. I consider telling Oliver to order from the Chinese place down the corner... Yeah, I could go for a fortune cookie.

"Ollie babe?"

"Hum?"

"How does Chinese sound for tonight?"

"Fabulous if I don't have to get it." He tells me while scratching his chin.

"… Please… me want fortune cookie." I say in my worst Chinese accent.

"That accent is terrible."

"Please… or me not stop talking like this." I smile as he frowns and gets up from the bed.

"I never liked you." He says.

"Yeah well you're the one who just had to marry me." I smirk.

"Alright well if I have to walk down to this place your paying." He opens the drawer and pulls out some money from my wallet.

"Hurry back oh wonderful lover of mine!" I shout as he jogs down the stairs and closes the front door.

I get up and begin setting the table. Two glass cups, two plates with the funky stripped design on them.

I smile, perfect. I walk back to the bedroom and collapse. I pick up my copy of _In Cold Blood_ and begin reading where I left off yesterday.

The door bell rings. Because I can be such a lazy slump I shout. "It's open!" Never a good idea but at the moment I have terrible judgment and besides I'm reading.

I hear soft footsteps make their way up the stairs. I keep my eyes on the page.

"Hey." A small voice says from the doorway.

I put the book down. Miley. I nod and close my book I sit up a little straighter. She seems a little out of place here. This is mine and Oliver's bedroom. This is our sanctuary of love making and easy mornings and afternoons.

"You wanted something?" I ask rudely. I have to say Miley's not been my favorite person these last few years. She had another child, her name is Katie. I like the kid she's got spunk.

"I came here because… because…" Miley's face is pale.

"Spit it out."

"I'm sorry."

Her voice is very sincere. Her eyes are sad, but I don't care, I'm still angry. "And you think that's what is going to make it all better?"

"Well no but just let me finish Lily."

I shrug.

"I just want you to know that I'm done with it. This entire thing as been blown out of proportion. I want to be your friend again. I miss you Lily."

"I just want to understand what you've been doing? Why are you so distant and what's up with you when you are around Oliver?" I know the answer but I want to hear her say it. I need that reassurance.

"I was in love with him." Miley says simply.

I'm not sure why but it bothers me once she said it. "But you were fine with our relationship when we were younger. You never said anything and what about Jake? And your kids? You are hurting everyone!"

"I never had a chance with Oliver." Miley sighs. "He was too busy being wrapped up in you. Every time I tried to tell him my true feelings he would come in completely love struck by you."

I'm not looking at her. "So you tried to break us up?"

"No! Once you two were together I stayed away… but when you two got married I just I don't know I was jealous."

"But you have Jake."

"I know that now. We had a long talk; and I love him I really love him. I think I just needed time to really be ok with you and Oliver. I'm sorry for whatever pain or argument I caused. I wish I hadn't taken so long; I've missed so much of your life Lily. I can't tell you how sorry I' am."

I wait until she was finished. I don't know what to say or how to feel. She was in love with my husband and she disconnected herself from me because she wanted to be in my shoes. But she is standing by the edge of the bed with worried eyes and a nervous frown. I realize I've missed her.

I miss my Miley days the giggling girl time we use to have. The kind of moments I can't share with anyone else. Even though I felt betrayed by her and bitterness towards her and her ability to have a normal life, I've missed her, and that is what had concerted all of my feelings.

I get up from the bed; Miley backs away from me like a scared deer. I swallow my pride and anger. I pull her to me and hug her closely. It is a real hug, a fierce hug. I feel her shake and soon my shoulder is wet with Miley's silent tears. She pulls away and whips her eyes, smearing her mascara.

"I forgive you."

"Thank-you." She cries.

"I've got food!" I hear Oliver shout from downstairs. "And you owe me big time China girl! I was almost beaten to death by this crazed Chinese man!" Oliver runs up the stairs and finds us. "Oh." He says slowly.

"Miley is going to stay for dinner." I say with my arm around her.

"Cool." Oliver nods smiling. "I'll get a third plate."

"And I'll get a third cup." I say.

We spend the evening together, catching up on lost time. And suddenly Miley is how I once saw her, back in middle school. Suddenly she is my best friend again. I tell her that as she leaves later that night. All is well with the universe.

(November 25, 2020 Oliver and Lily: 29)

OLIVER: Lily and I are going to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. I'm not too excited about the trip the house is going to be packed. My sister Olivia and her husband Harry are going to be there with their twin brats. My brother Oscar is also coming with his wife Annie and their three kids. A nightmare! But Lily seems happy to be getting out… Actually Lily's been happy about doing just about anything now that she and Miley have patched things up.

I'm carrying my duffel bag around my shoulder and Lily is trailing behind me dragging hers. Before I even knock on the front door my dad swings it open.

"Oliver!" He smiles pulling me into a big hug. "It's so great to see you again. How's the ankle?"

"Its fine I'm sorry I didn't contact you guys right away after it happened but everything's fine now. But anyway, hey dad."

Lily hops up beside me and smiles. "Hello Mr. Oken." She says.

"Is that them?" I hear my mother call from another room.

"Yes dear their here!" My father yells back. "Well come on kids!"

And just like that we're sucked back into childhood. Lily and I try to dodge as many kids as we can walking up to my bedroom. After we get our things settled and make a solute to the teenage years by making-out on my desk table we go back downstairs to face the madness that is my family.

Olivia works as a realtor and every year she tries to sell a house near by to Lily and me and every year we refuse. But she's always prepared by bringing pictures of _spectacular _lots and newly finished houses. She's a tough one, but I suppose she had to be with two other brothers.

Oscar, the youngest of us, is still working on his master's degree to teach high school science. I think I was the only kid in my family who was clueless for the longest time. I'm the oldest in my family I was supposed to be the rebellious one the headstrong one, but I never once did something my parents told me not to do. I was the good kid.

Maybe that's why my parents were a little afraid when they met Lily when she got older and grew into her punk phase. They knew her as a little girl running around our backyard in sundresses not as the skateboarder head banging to The Shins.

LILY: I love Oliver's family, especially at the dinner table. I voted for me and Oliver to sit at the kids table but Mr. and Mrs. Oken looked at me a little too strangely. You'd think after all these years they'd pick up on my crazy antics.

"So I told Carl to go pound sand up his ass. I mean that house was mine to sell!" Olivia said as she dug into the salad.

"Honey, please language, I heard in one of the baby books that they pick up on that sort of thing." Harry, her husband, pleads with her. I couldn't help but snort, what a pansy. Oliver nudged me in my side but I caught him smirking as well.

"Erin! Erin you put that down right now!" Annie shouts standing up from the table and chasing the small child around.

I put my head on Oliver's shoulder and laugh. I love these guys. Later, when Oliver and I are nestled together in his childhood bedroom I look at him. I kiss his neck and he opens his eyes.

"Hey… you want to go somewhere?"

"Where?" He asks rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Somewhere, anywhere come and walk with me Ollie." I say as I get up. We do not change out of our pajamas, instead we put on a coats and I grab my old scarf I knitted long ago.

We sneak out of the house and for a spilt second I feel eighteen again. The sun hasn't risen yet and my breath freezes before me. The moon is low as we walk out in the middle of the street. There are no cars, no sound.

We walk hand in hand. His palm is warm against my palm. Our fingers slip together making another whole hand.

"Where to Mrs. Oken?"

"I have an idea."

I lead him to a small park. It's a sad place here at sun rise. The swing set is rusty. The slide is broken. No one has come here, not for a long time. The large tree still stands towards the back all by its lonesome.

"No… no way." He whispers. I giggle and pull him closer to it.

We sit Indian style on the grass under the tree's protective branches that are naked with middle November weather.

There, under one of roots that stick out of the ground is our memory box. It is tucked away under piles of dirt and dead leaves.

"Should we?" He asks nervously

"Go for it." I whisper back, I do not want to disturb the sleeping sun.

Oliver pulls it out and shakes the cobwebs and dirt off of it. Written in sloppy third grade handwriting it reads: _Lily and Oliver's Memory Box_.

We laugh and open the top. Inside there is a letter that is now turning a dark yellow and a few objects of our own.

There's a few picture of us on the old swing set and another at the beach. We are happy and carefree. Oliver unfolds the letter and reads it aloud.

_Summer of 1999_

_We, Oliver Oken and Lily Truscott vow to always and forever be the best of friends. In this box we have deiced to store a few things. We hope in the years to come that we will find this box again and remember our childhood…_

I pick up my old red ribbon that sits in the corner of the box. I smile at it. Oliver takes out a wheel that belonged to his very first skateboard. There are tickets to old movies we sunk into. There is a cassette tape with a dozen little kid songs on it that Oliver and I couldn't get enough of.

I lean back on the trunk of the tree and fold my hands into my lap. Oliver sits up on a root and laughs. "Wow." He says.

"I know." I smile.

"Well we kept our promise. You're still my best friend Lily Truscott."

"And you are mine Oliver Oken."

OLIVER: I watch the sky turn from a navy blue to a purple orange, the sun is waking up. I turn to look at Lily and she is just staring at me with a pensive air about her. And then she asks me.

"Do you love me?"

I chuckle, it's a silly question and she knows the answer but I reply anyway. "Yes, I love you Lily. Always and forever… what about you? Do you love me?"

She stands up and sits next to me on the tree root. She leans into my ear and whispers. "Always… and forever…"

I tuck a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear and kiss each of her cheeks.

"I'm having one of those moments." I tell her.

"What kind."

"The kind where I'm so incredibly happy that I just can't stand it and I know that I'll never ever have another moment like this again. This is a moment that will never be repeated, you are my moment Lily." I say this to her softly I let my words roll from my lips slowly. I want everything to last.

"You are too perfect you know that?" She sighs. "You are too good for me."

"I'm one of a kind." I laugh.

"Damn straight." She giggles while swiping a quick tear from her eyelash.

We watch the sun rise and I can't help but feel a melancholy presence lull over me. My heart becomes a little heavy and I wrap my arm around Lily just to know that she is solid and right here with me.

She is here and she will not leave me, she promised, she promised…

….

Yeah well there's that. Hopefully you enjoyed it and leave your thoughts.

Lazy Days


	13. Try As We Might

**Author's Note:** I' am so incredibly sorry! My computer crashed and I lost everything. So I haven't been able to update lately. My computer still isn't fixed so I'm using a friend's for the moment. I've been down in the dumps lately because I lost all the stories that I write for my own enjoyment and all the chapters and stories I was writing for fanfiction. But today I'm sucking it up and giving you more of the story. You are my readers and I will not disappoint you. Also in the beginning of this chapter I'm referring to things that happened in chapter five. So if you get a little confused revert back to that.

……..

(September 25, 2026 Oliver: 35 and Lily: 35, 6)

OLIVER: Business is slow today and for once I don't mind. I wasn't expecting what happened yesterday. And now I just can't get it off my mind. Lily is gone again. She's been traveling a lot lately. And when she comes back she is always very quiet and sits by herself for long periods of time.

I wish I could look inside her head. I wish I knew things like her and saw the things she has seen. It gets very frustrating to be with her when she is in one of her moods. Lily has always been stubborn and proud. She would rather eat her fingers off then cry in front of anyone, other then me.

I miss her when she is gone. I miss her strawberry lips and long hair. I always feel a cringe in my stomach when she leaves. Even if I'm not with her I know that she has gone away. It bothers me to know I cannot go with her. I cannot follow her and protect her. And now more then ever I wish we had a child.

Someone who could stay behind with me. A little kid with Lily's spark. I know it's selfish and wrong to crave a baby but I want one. I've always wanted to be a father. Lily has always told me that I' am enough. She tells me she doesn't need a baby, but I'm not _that _stupid.

Jake and Miley have three kids now. James, Rose and Robert. I know it's stupid but I'm jealous. Lily and I spend lots of time with those kids. We take them out to the park and to movies. We let them run around the Music Shop and dance to the oldies.

_Thump!_

I lift my head up from the counter up front and walk into my back office. A little girl is sitting in the corner. She has her legs pulled up to her chest and she is crying. I feel myself frown.

"Hey, hey don't cry." I say to sooth her.

"W-Where am I?" She sniffs looking up to me her curtain of blonde hair falling back.

"You're safe." I reach up and take out a long red shirt for her to wear from the top of a bookcase.

I help her slip into it and smile. "There, better?"

She nods.

"What's your name?" I ask already knowing the answer.

"My mom tells me not to talk to strangers." She says quietly.

"Oh." That's right Lily must be around six, stranger danger, if I remember correctly. "Well can't you just trust me? Don't I look trustworthy?"

She sits up straighter and glares at me. "What does a trustworthy person look like?"

"Like me of course!" I chuckle. "Would you like some of my lunch? I brought a lot with me today and it is 12:30."

She chews on her bottom lip. "Well I guess I could help you with that… what did you bring?"

"Let's see." I say standing and walking over to my desk. "I've got two apples, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some chez-its."

"I _love_ chez-its!" Mini Lily jumps.

I spread my lunch out and we sit side by side and munch away.

"My name is Lily." She finally says after a long moment

"Hello Lily I'm Oliver."

Her eyes brighten. "My _best _friend in the whole universe's name is Oliver!"

"Really?" I ask sounding astonished.

"Yeah!" She grins. "That's so cool!"

"The coolest." I agree watching her. "So how was your day going before you got here?"

Lily sighs and sets her apple down. "Well Marty stole my orange hat today while I was petting Kit-Kat, that's the name of our kitten."

I nod. I remember Kit-Kat; she dies three years later in mini Lily's time I frown and suddenly I understand. Why does Lily always have to be right? Knowing is an ugly cross to bear.

"And so I told on him and he and my mom got into a huge fight. I hate seeing them fight so I got really upset and then I was here."

I put my hand gently on her shoulder. "Sorry Lily, but don't worry you'll go back soon enough."

"Ollie?"

I jump up. My Lily comes walking in with an 'I love NY' t-shit on and a pair of dirty jeans.

"Hey." I smile at her, she catches sight of little Lily next to me and grins.

"What's up mini me!" Lily laughs

"I'll get you some clean clothes." I tell older Lily and walk out. I find a Hellogoodbye sweat shirt and some jeans. When I walk back in the two Lily's are playing patty cake.

"Patty cake, patty cake baker's man, bake me a cake as fast as you can!" They sing together.

Lily would have been a wonderful mother.

"Ow you got me!" My Lily laughs pulling little Lily into a hug. They laugh and I set the clothes down next to them.

"And remember don't let dumb Marty push you around." My Lily says winking at her.

"Ok!" She giggles and then she disappears.

LILY: It's a little funny being on the other side. Being the one who watches the person go. Being left behind. I turn to Oliver and notice something different in his eyes that I didn't see while I was bonding with myself.

He looks away from my stare and offers me clean clothes without talking. Did I miss something? I change quickly and meet him back by the front of the store. He is flipping through some paper work and frowning.

"Ollie? Babe? What's wrong?"

He looks a little flustered. A little uneasy.

"I'm fine." He mumbles.

"And I'm normal." I bite back sarcastically. "Come on, confined in me, tell me your troubles and worries my love."

He sighs and looks up to me smiling, but it does not reach his eyes. "Nothing is wrong. I'm just a little tired. And we need to ready by seven tonight. We're going out with the Ryan's tonight."

I nod. "Cool is it our turn to pick the restaurant?"

"I think so." Oliver ponders.

I walk over behind the counter and wrap my arms around his waist. "Tell me." I say into shoulder as I kiss it.

"I just miss you when you're gone."

"But I'm back now."

He shrugs. I sigh. This is impossible. I let go and begin typing in the sales we've made today on the computer. I put the date on the top left hand corner and begin typing slowly. And then it hits me. Yesterday was the 24th I came to Oliver yesterday as a twenty five year old sobbing over our lack of children.

That is why he's been sore. I look over at him as he flips through old records.

"Oliver?" I say softly.

He looks up at me.

"I'm sorry."

He looks away. "Don't worry about it. We've been fine. I'm fine. This is enough."

I'm suddenly hit with that feeling again. I thought I buried it ten years ago but now it's back and nagging me. I want a baby.

"Oliver?"

"Don't ok? Please just don't."

I shut-up and try not to look at him. I don't want to fight. The rest of the day played out slowly. Oliver and I did not make eye contact and we did not speak to one another. Five costumers came in today and four bought something…

I'm in our bedroom now trying to zip up my dress. It's difficult because, one I can't see it, and two it's stuck. I hate dresses.

"Let me help you."

His hands are warm on my back. His touch is soft and delicate. I don't want to go out tonight. He finishes and I look at my red wine colored dress in the mirror.

"You look lovely." He says.

I turn around and kiss him fully on the mouth and place my hands on his shoulders. He pulls me closer in a tight hug and I feel his lips smile against mine. His hand reaches up my back and unzips the dress. So much for that.

He pushes me back onto the bed and we get undressed quickly. I run my hands over his chest and he tickles my ear with his tongue. His is gentle and tender. It's not our usual rough sex it's our soft sex. He kisses my neck and I explore his broad shoulders. We come together in an apology.

He kisses my wrist and I know he is sorry. I nuzzle his cheek and he knows he is forgiven. Time has no power when we stay together, just as this. I hold him close and sigh easy. He breathes in my hair and whispers love into my ears.

I get up from the bed the same time he does we smile at each other and pull our clothes back on. I splash water in my face and scrub my skin clean. Oliver brushing his hair back with his fingers and now we are ready.

"What took you two so long?" Miley grips as we meet them outside of the restaurant.

Oliver and I share a quick look. Jake and Miley raise an eyebrow. Jake laughs and Miley sighs. "Y'all have a problem."

It's a French restaurant, as always. Considering Oliver and I are experts are languages we always have fun teasing the Ryan clan with our wicked skills.

The kids sit quietly together. It's amazing how well behaved those guys are. Sure, Robert is a bit of a hand full but man! James is outgoing and loud, like mother like son. And Robert is still at that age where he could go either way. What surprises me the most is Rose. She is reserved and shy, unlike both of her parents.

Rose, growing up with two boys naturally is a tomboy, much to Miley's dismay. She is a crazy kid though once you get to know her. We are seated in the back where there is more room. Oliver and I choose seats that look out the window. He puts his hand on my knee and I rest my head on his shoulder.

Miley gives me a happy look. "Y'all are too cute. Don't you think so Jake?"

Mr. Ryan looks up at us and grins. "Very." He agrees and kisses Miley on the cheek. They smile at one another and I finally believe Miley. She does look happier with Jake now that everything is behind us.

The three kids color on the coloring books Miley brought for them. Robert squirms in his booster seat and whines. James hums a giddy tune and Rose looks lost in her world of crayons and colors.

They all look like a perfect mixture of their parents. Both James and Robert have blonde hair like their dad but Miley's eyes. Rose has Miley's brown curly hair and Jake's eyes. I can't help but wonder, what would mine and Oliver's child look like?

Oliver seems to reading my mind because he gives my hand a comforting tight squeeze.

"Try and have a good time." He whispers in my ear.

I nod and give him a sad smile. Dinner turned out grand. We ate and laughed so much that it disturbed everyone in restaurant. We left with full stomachs and merry faces. I promised the kids I would visit soon and then Oliver and I drove home.

Later that night while Oliver and I lay in bed I contemplated my desires. I face him now as he stares up at the ceiling. I don't care anymore. I want a baby.

"Let's make a baby." I state plainly and before Oliver can protest I straddle him and thrust my hips in. He takes a sharp breath in fast and lets it out slowly. He can not deny me now. I know this is selfish and mean but I don't care. I lost a baby once and I feel that I deserve another chance. Consequences be damned!

…..

If you're wondering, no, the baby thing will never be fully over. I had to drag that back into the plot. Also I don't know when I'll be able to update again. I can't keep using this computer. It's going to take a while before my computer is up and running again. So sorry once again. Leave your thoughts.

Lazy Days


	14. As it Should

**Author's Note:** Did I mention how great you guys? Oh and yea to daisy617! I'm very happy you took a chance on my story! And thanks to everyone's advice on my hard drive problems. Well as I was up for my morning run today I came up with this idea for the chapter. And I have a feeling you guys will be very happy with the result.

……

(October 4, 1995 Lily: 35, 5)

LILY: I'm in the janitor's closet. I've stolen his long green jump suit. As I button up the last button I hear someone crying. Quickly I scramble out of the room and find a little girl walking around in a long shirt that has a picture of the two man eating lions on it. I can only guess it came from the gift shop down the hall.

I'm in the Chicago Field Museum. It's a little after five in the morning and the lights are all off. The security guards have already gone off to change and get ready to leave. The little girl is of course me.

I skip over to her and smile. She is standing by the giant Sue dinosaur up front. I remember when I came here with my parents many moons ago. Sue was my favorite exhibit. The large T-Rex sits right up front so when you walk in you are suddenly entranced by its enormous size.

"Hey." I say quietly seating myself next her.

"Hi." She squeaks nervously.

"I'm Lily." I tell her with my hand out to shake hers.

"Mine _too_!" She says cheering up.

"Do you know how you got here?"

"No… I was getting ready for bed and then I was here. I don't like it, I want to go home."

I sigh and nod. "You and me both, but Lily you and I have the exact same problem."

Her eyes brighten and she smiles. "You can travel too?" She whispers.

"I sure can." I whisper back. "You know why?"

She shakes her head no. "I'm you." I smile.

"From the future?!" She blurts out.

"Whoa, we have to be very quiet or someone will kick us out of here."

"…Sorry." She blushes. "Are there any more travelers?"

I feel terrible knowing I'm the one who has to tell her, me. I shake my head and look to her with a grime frown. "Just us."

She looks down. "…Oh…"

We sit for a moment. I glance up at the long marble staircase leading to more exhibits. There are different hallways and doorways to explore. I try to think back and remember what my other favorite part of this trip was.

"Hey little Lily? What was your favorite part of this museum?"

"Well we just got back yesterday. I remember coming here with mommy and daddy and Marty. We saw everything! But Sue was my favorite."

"Other then Sue."

She bites the inside of her cheek. "I liked… I liked the man eating loins!" She cheers. I laugh and take her hand we walk around the empty dark museum together. This has to be one of my better trips.

(October 4, 2026 Oliver and Lily: 35)

OLIVER: I'm pacing back and fourth. Miley and Jake haven't seen her around. And I drove around the block searching for a half naked woman just praying she was my half naked woman.

Lily has been missing for hours. I thought about calling her parents but I don't want to worry them. Lily's mom can become very hysterical very quickly over these things. I try making coffee but I'm so jumpy I hardly think I need any caffeine.

I sit back on the couch and wait. I twiddle my thumbs and try to think about something else. No thinking about how my wife could be stranded on some deserted road scared, cold, and alone… shit.

The phone rings. I leap from the couch and sprit to the kitchen.

"Hello!" I shout into the receiver.

"Oliver? She's here, everything's fine." Miley reassures me from the other line.

"Oh thank-you." I breathe out. I'm in the car driving. It's so late out that the roads are almost barren. I hit the breaks at and stare up at the bright red light glaring onto my windshield.

I take a moment to calm myself down. She's fine, everything is fine. Fine, fine. My nerves are shot. I spend every morning hoping that when I wake she will be there with me. I come home at night after closing the shop praying that I don't find her bleeding or crying. And the worst part it that we're trying to have a baby.

We've been trying for almost a month now and still nothing. A good husband would take his wife by the shoulders and say: "Love, we gave it our best shot. Let's adopt or call it quits, we're just not meant to be parents."

But we aren't like that and I'm not a good husband. We want a child so bad that it has blinded us. Sex is a chore now. I can't remember the last time we mad love just because we _love _each other. I know Lily wants this but it's killing us.

I pull up into the driveway and see everyone outside waiting for me. Lily waves to them and jumps into the car.

"You won't believe where I was just now!" She gushes.

"Disney World?" I guess sarcastically.

"Ha, ha, very funny. I was in Chicago again! I was at the Field Museum! I hung out with the five year old version of myself."

"Well I'm glad you had fun." I say bitterly.

"Oliver." She says slowly. "I know this is difficult for you but you must know that if I had a choice I would stop. If I could I would just stay here with you." She puts her hands on my knee and squeezes it gently.

"I just get nervous that something bad has happened to you. I'm always in the dark Lily. It's like your Odysseus and I'm Penelope. I get left behind, I always have to wait." I'm watching the road and not her facial features.

"Oh come on Oliver… you're so much prettier then Penelope."

Great, she's making jokes now. I can't help it I shuffle a light growl that grows in my throat. "I'm the guy! If anything I should be the one running off!"

This upsets Lily. I can't see her in the dark of the car but I know by her silence that I really screwed up. Lily is a bit of a feminist.

"So you're saying that you, Mister Macho, could handle this better then me?

I gulp. "No it's just I hate seeing you hurt. You don't need this."

"And neither do you Oliver! I would hate to wish this disorder on anyone! Not even my greatest enemy! For once Oliver you have to just realize that you can't win. Give up, because there is nothing I can do to prevent this."

I frown and reply harshly. "Yeah well I could say the same thing about our baby issue."

She takes her hand off my knee. Shit, I really blew it.

"Pull over." Her voice is ice and it makes my skin crawl.

"No." I say.

"I said pull _over_ Oliver! I'm _not_ going to sit in this car with you! I don't want to be here right now!"

I keep driving.

"Damn it!" She screams slamming her fists into the dashboard. "Damn it! Damn it!"

I don't know if she's talking to me or not. She keeps slamming her fists into the gray dashboard it makes a horrific noise. I shiver. What is wrong with us?

I turn to look at her as I pass a row of dim street lights. I see her golden hair catch fire under the bright bulbs. Her skin is pale. I only see glimpses of her face and body. I drive faster. The lights are speeding by again and again. Always quick luminous flashes of her tears and deep set frown.

Wind rushes over the roof of the car in strong gusts. I'm going to fast, but I can't stop. There aren't any cars around. The green numbers on the car's clock reads 2:03 a.m. My headlights are bright and streaming down the long black road.

I hear her breathing become very short and irregular. She sniffs and I glance at her from the corner of my eye. She is clutching the armrest for dear life. I slam on my breaks. The car lets out a tight screech. We are stopped on the side of the road.

I let go of the steering wheel. Lily opens the door and slams it shut. She stands in front of the car with her arms folded protectively over her chest. I slowly open my door and stand beside her. She wipes her tears away and looks out to the sky frowning.

We are silent. Crickets sing and the air is very cool. I wonder if she is cold. My reflex is to put my arm around her but I'm not sure she wants me too.

"I'm sorry." She says after a while.

"Me too."

She leans her head on my shoulder and all is forgiven. Damn us for having such violent tempers but we are always willing for second chances.

(October 6, 2026 Lily and Oliver: 35)

LILY: I told him to forget it, I'm done. If trying so hard to have a baby is tearing us apart then I don't want one. It's funny in a way all those stupid sex education classes in high school sure were a waste. Oliver seemed a little relived but his eyes looked sad. I woke up and rolled over in bed and told him my decision. He respects it.

Now I'm making us both an omelet for breakfast. Oliver has a meeting with one of our co business partners for the music shop. He's sitting at the table fooling with his silly blue tie.

"Stop, I already spent all morning tying it for you and if you keep poking at it I'll have to re-do it."

"Well excuse me Mrs. Bossy Pants but I think I can fix my own tie." He smirks taking a sip from his coffee.

"Great, come over here and let me loosen it so you can show me." I say coyly.

"Well… well you did such a great job. I wouldn't want to ruin it dear."

"You're so full of it." I laugh turning back to the stove and sprinkling cheese over the eggs.

"_In the town that I was born lived a man who sailed the seas._"

I join in with Oliver. "_And he told me of his tales in the Yellow Submarine."_

We come together. "_We all live in the Yellow Sub-_"

I'm gone.

(December 11, 2036 Lily: 35, Oliver: 45)

LILY: I'm sitting on a chair in my house. That's strange. I look around. Nothing much has changed. I can't decide if I'm in the past or future… Oh! There's our new bookcase I'm not in the past we just bought that sucker last week in my time.

I wrap myself in the blue blanket that is sitting on the couch, it's funny I don't remember it.

"Oliver? Somebody?" I call out.

A hear two voices chatting. One is definitely Oliver's I could recognize that deep rich voice anywhere. But there is one that I do not know. It's soft and sounds like a…

"Hi." A little blond girl is standing in front of me.

I stand very still. I see Oliver appear from the doorway he is leaning on the doorframe with a soft smile playing on his lips.

"Uhhh?" Is my intelligent response. This girl looks like me, ha, she probably is me! "Me?" I ask as a confused question.

The little girl shakes her head making her blonde curls swing out of its pony tail. "Nope." She giggles and stares up at Oliver, the two of them sharing an inside joke.

"Then…" I trail off.

"Think Lily." Oliver encourages me.

I feel my knees give out. I sit down quickly and hold my hand to my mouth. "Holy shit." I whisper. "Oh sorry." I say gesturing to the little girl. "But I mean… Ollie? Really? She's I mean we…" I can't speak.

He nods and his smile grows even wider.

"Come here!" I grab her and hold her closely. I'm holding my future daughter. I feel tears run down my cheeks. We pull away at the same time and I stare at her. She has my hair, my eyes, where is Oliver in this child? But then she smiles and I see it. That goofy lopsided grin.

"You look perfect." I tell her and she blushes, there's Oliver again. I can't help it I'm ecstatic.

Oliver seats himself next to me and lets us have our moment. He is calm and very quiet. He folds his hands in his lap and waits.

"What's your name? I ask hungry for answers.

"Ah, ah!" Oliver says holding up his index finger to the girl. "Anything but the name."

"But daddy!"

"But Ollie!"

We shout at the same time. He shakes his head still grinning. I let my daughter, that felt weird to say, sit in my lap. She curls up next to me and holds me just as tightly as I hold her. I feel whole sitting here with them. My family, our family.

After much of the shock wears off I begin my interrogation on her with all my questions.

"Can you skateboard?"

"Not very well." She says bashfully.

"Ah man! Oliver I can't believe you poisoned her with your lack of talent!" I grip playfully with him.

"Sorry." He shrugs.

"Ok let me see… what about friends whose your pal?"

"Rose." She state simply.

"Really? Isn't she a lot older then you?"

My daughter shrugs. "So, she says I'm wise beyond my years."

"Sweet." I laugh. "My kid's the smart one."

"Must be from my side." Oliver smirks.

I roll my eyes. "Whatever Oliver."

I look at him and he looks at me. We share one of out moments. He takes my hand and kisses it tenderly. I run my finger down his cheek and jaw. Strangely enough my little girl doesn't seem to be grossed out by this. She only stares at us with a funny grin on her face.

"Can you umm you know… travel?" I wait for the answer my body still.

"Yes." She nods.

I cringe. And she quickly adds. "But it's not as bad as you had it. They even created a name for it. It's called CDP it means Chrono-Displaced Person."

I feel sick. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I mean sometimes I get to chose where I go."

"Can you not go at all? If you really didn't want to?" I'm burning with questions.

"Well no but I can decide where I want to go. I mean it's not _convenient _but it's… it's _interesting_."

I give a sigh of relief. Maybe she won't be as bad as me. Maybe she won't wake up somewhere naked and cold. Maybe she won't have all that pain that I have endured through the years.

Oliver is rubbing circles around my palm. He is warm and I feel myself falling in love with him all over again. We are quiet for a while. I don't know when my time is up but I feel really good right now. Everything is taken care of. Oliver has someone to be with him now. And me? Well who cares about me…

(October 6, 2026 Lily and Oliver: 35)

OLIVER: I'm eating my omelet. I'm keeping Lily's warm by the stove just in case it's a short trip. I check my watch and wipe my mouth a napkin. I walk into the bathroom and begin brushing my teeth. I straighten out my suit and grab my folder for the meeting. I guess I won't be able to see her till afterwards.

The day is nice and not to chilly. I deiced on just walking. The office isn't far anyway. I'm making great time. I feel big and important in my suit, although I've never been keen on wearing one before it's nice to dress up once in a while.

I'm turning a corner when someone jumps on top of me. I get the breath knocked out of me and I'm lying flat on my back against the cold cement sidewalk.

"What the hell?" I shout ready to kick someone's ass.

"Oliver! Oh Oliver!" She squeals.

I stand up and help her to her feet. Lily is bouncing up and down she's laughing and dancing around right there in the middle of the sidewalk. We're getting very queer looks from people passing by.

"Uh would you please explain?"

She just keeps smiling. It's good to see her this way. So carefree and wild I just I knew what we were celebrating so I could join.

We sit down on a bench next to the bus stop. Lily finally calms down a little and takes my hands. "I went to the future and saw us."

I nod. Ok, ok nothing new.

"And I saw her. Oh Oliver, we're going to have a baby girl!"

"What?"

"I went to the future and saw you two!"

My insides give a jolt. We're going to have a baby…. "WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!" I shout and jump up. My whole body is tingling and finally, _finally _we are getting what every 'normal' couple has.

I grab Lily by her waist and twirl her around. We dance down the sidewalk laughing and crying and kissing. I don't care if people are pointing and whispering things about us. I'm so happy. Everything is just perfect. I pull away from Lily and stroke her face. She is wearing sweatpants and a light jacket that she most likely stole from the sporting good store down on Maple Street.

"Let's go home." I tell her softly.

"What about the meeting?" She asks still smiling.

"I really could care less about that meeting."

We walk home swinging our hands back and fourth intertwined.

(October 10, 2026 Lily and Oliver: 35)

LILY: It's strange but the future Oliver never did tell me when I would become pregnant. So far we've had little success. I haven't told anyone but Oliver about my traveling experience with my daughter. I don't want to talk to Cindy about it. She's still working on my cure.

I go to her office every now and then, but I'm not ready to tell anyone anything until it is all final. Today we're going to the regular doctor for a check-up to see if there's any progress. Oliver is nervous as he drives. He looks deep in thought.

The hospital smells funny. Everywhere I turn there is a sad looking patient and unhappy sleep deprived doctors. Where are all the comedic characters from the old television series _Scrubs_? I wouldn't mind having one of those doctors. We are escorted to a room with dull white walls.

Part of me wonders if the crabby looking nurse is going to throw a straightjacket at me to go along with the white room. I suppress a giggle at my lame humor and Oliver gives me a funny look that I brush off with a wave of my hand.

After doing a few highly embarrassing tests and answering awkward questions the nurse, whose name is Doris, walks away. Oliver is holding my hand and I feel ok, better then the other dozen times we've done this. Maybe that's a good omen! Is there such thing as a good omen?

"What are you thinking?" Oliver asks.

"Omens." I reply.

"… Hey do you remember that old movie? Man! That was scary!"

"Ha! I remember that, you hid your face in my sweater the whole night." I snicker reminiscing.

"Yeah sorry about that. I suppose I'm not such a brave guy after all." Oliver says sourly.

"Nah, who wants a big tough guy? I actually enjoyed having your face tucked tightly in my side. Made me like totally hot for you." I say adding a valley girl accent on the end.

"We're so weird." Oliver chuckles.

The door opens with a loud swooshing noise. Oliver and I both jump together at the sudden sound.

Doris is smiling; well she's smiling as best as she can someone really needs to knock that stick out of her butt.

"Congratulations. The tests came back positive. You're pregnant Mrs. Oken."

I lot out the breath that I didn't know I was holding and hug Oliver.

"I love you." He says in my hair.

And just like that all is as it should be.

…..

Well there's that. After much thought I decided that I really wanted them to have a child. It seemed to flow well with my upcoming chapters. I hope you are still enjoying the story. Leave your thoughts.

Lazy Days


	15. Eight Times to Soon

**Author's Note:** Well I'm very glad you guys approve. To _daisy617_: In the future Oliver told a 25 year old Lily they didn't have any children at age 35 on September 24, 2026. Now I begin chapter 13 a few days after that event. So I told everyone they didn't have any kids not that they couldn't have them. Yes, one of the nurses in chapter 5 told them it was very unlikely but never no. Does that make any sense? I hope I somewhat answered your question. Anyway, I have a very small favor to ask of you readers. Names! I would like people's inputs on baby names. I have a few ideas myself but I just wanted to keep it open. And in the final product if I don't end up using your given name please don't take it personally.

……

(November 1, 2026 Lily and Oliver: 35)

LILY: Well I don't feel much different. I'm standing in front of the mirror just staring at myself. I'm still wearing my big red t-shirt I wore to bed last night and my hair is down and frizzy. Oliver and I haven't told anyone about the baby.

Part of me is scared to tell everyone. Maybe what I saw wasn't real? Maybe this is all a big joke of some kind and I'll end up loosing this baby like the last one. If I let the cat out of the bag then it might all just disappear. And if I loose this child Oliver and I won't be the only ones hurt in the end.

"What do you want for breakfast?!" Oliver yells from the kitchen downstairs.

"Oatmeal!" I shout still looking in the mirror. I need to tell them. But most of all I need to tell Cindy. She and I really need to talk…but I'm scared.

After a long hot shower I find Oliver dancing around the kitchen to our small red radio on the counter. He's frying up eggs and heating the oatmeal all while wearing a white apron.

"Wow it's like Mr. Mom." I laugh taking a seat.

Quickly he jerks the apron off and smiles sheepishly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine… no puking yet…. Oliver I want to tell people now."

"You do!" He's excited I've been the one holding back. I'm the scared one.

"Yes, I want to my mom first." After I say this I feel only a little better. Oliver sets down the breakfast and we eat with smiles…

"You can do this." Oliver tells me while rubbing my shoulders as I reach for the phone. I'm going to call my mother up and ask her to come to our house and there I'll let my family know.

"Wait!" I say backing up. I turn around and bump into Oliver. "I don't know… I mean Oliver?" I'm not sure what I'm asking. I'm just scared. I can't loose this.

"It's going to be fine. You are the most courageous woman I know. Lily we are not going to loose this baby. It is different. I have complete faith in this." He cups my face and strokes my cheeks with his thumbs.

I feel a little better. But then it comes, a panic attack. My palms begin to sweat and I tear myself away from Oliver. I clutch my stomach and wait for the disappearing act. I close my eyes tightly and grit my teeth. Instead of crashing to a hard surface I feel warm hands wrap around me.

"Look at me Lily." He pleads. I open my eyes and find Oliver's worried face staring back at me. "You are here." He says. And I' am. My daughter and I are connected. We will not travel during these nine mouths. I can just stay here, with Oliver.

I walk over to the phone and dial my parent's number. Next Oliver calls his parents and later we invite the Ryan's. We are planning a dinner party and some time during the evening we will share our news.

(November 2, 2026 Lily and Oliver: 35)

LILY: Cindy's office is very cold. Her thermostat is broken and I'm wrapped up in my old winter coat. She is writing a few things down and paying no mind to me. Oliver is in the waiting room. I didn't want him in here.

"Alright now I can talk, sorry about all of that." She doesn't smile at me. Instead she gets up and unlocks her drawer. She takes out all of my paperwork and sets in down on the desk between us. It's raining outside. I hear it pounding on the window. The sound soothes me.

"Now what is it you wanted to talk about?" Cindy asks clasping her hands and placing them on her desk. She leans forward a little too eager. I tried out a billion ways to tell her. I've never been good at saying things at the right time and the right way. So I do it my way, the Lily way.

"I'm pregnant."

Everything gets a little quieter. The rain is still pouring hard outside and beating the windows and walls. I can hear another doctor in the other room speaking with a patient. I can't make out the words; it's all muffled and soft.

"Excuse me?" That is Cindy's most intelligent responds. "How… how did this happen?"

"Well when a man and woman love each other they-"

"Lily!"

"Sorry."

She runs her fingers through her graying brown hair and stares at the desk top. "This can never work out Lily."

"Why not?" I'm completely calm. I can't get too frustrated.

"Lily have you forgotten why I'm even involved in your life? It's impossible it's a miracle you could even conceive. How do you know this won't turn out the same way it did with your miscarriage?"

"Because I saw her, I saw my daughter!" I shout back forgetting all thought about being calm.

Doctor Brown sighs. "I know before you said during sex you can't travel correct?"

I nod. "So I thought it could somehow correspond with my baby, minis the sex. When I'm connected with someone physically weather that be with Oliver or my daughter with an umbilical cord I won't leave. I'll stay here until she's born."

"But you can't know that for a fact." Doctor Brown fights back.

"Can't you put a little faith in me?"

"I don't think you get this. I can't test on you or work with you for nine months. It would be such a waste of time! Lily we need to do everything we can to fight this."

I feel like she just spit in my face. "A waste of time?" I hiss at her. My temper is burning. "Is that what you think?"

She locks eyes with me. "I didn't mean it like that Lily. I was only speaking from scientific terms."

"Well save it. I'm having this baby and it won't be a waste."

Doctor Brown shakes her head. I lunge across the table and grab her by the collar of her white lab coat. "I'm dying _Doctor Brown_ and when I'm gone I want Oliver to have something to live for. I want a little girl that looks like me to help him coup. So if you think I'm wasting time then so be it!" I let her go with my eyes still burning towards hers. I'm feud up.

Brown sits down and holds her head in her hands. "Do you know if she travels too?"

"Yes, and she does." I say reaching for the doorknob.

"I'm going to give you a good doctor. She delivered both of my girls. I'm going to give her all of your paperwork so she knows what's coming." Cindy quickly grabs a post-it and writes the lady's name down I wait.

Cindy hands me the piece of paper and waits. "Thank-you."

"Welcome Lily and I'm happy for you."

"Which side of you is saying that?"

I watch her lips curl up into what I think is a small smile. "The scientist in me is saying your crazy and I shouldn't let you go. The human in me… well I'm happy for you."

OLIVER: The door opens and I jump up. Lily walks out with a small yellow post-it in her hand and tears in her eyes.

"Did you two have a fight?" I ask ready and willing to beat up Doctor Brown.

"Yes and no." Lily smiles swiping a tear away. I don't understand but I'm just glad to see her smiling so I don't question it.

"Come on let's go get ready for tonight." She says taking my hand. In the elevator Lily leans on my chest and I wrap my arms around her. I love her body, I love her hair. I like running my hands down her sides and feeling her curves.

I tell Lily that I'll do the running around and all the cooking. She needs to rest. There are bags under her eyes. After making sure she is safe and sleeping soundly in our bedroom I get to work. I set out eight places at the table. Two for my parents and Lily's then Miley, Jake and lastly me and Lily.

Our dinner guests won't be arriving till eight. I still have two hours to do whatever. The chicken is in the oven and the vegetables are simmering. The kitchen smells heavenly. I have a quick swig of beer and then I head into the den where my books lay waiting to be read.

I pick up my copy of _The Light of Day_ by Graham Swift and collapse in my arm chair. I flip through it and find my page. I sigh with a smile and drift into another world.

"Reading, reading when did you and I get so cultured?"

I turn my head around slowly and find Lily leaning up against the doorframe with her arms folded over her chest. She looks so perfect that I can't speak at first. "Come here." I say after a while. She walks over slowly taking her time and I move my book aside and she squeezes in beside me.

I lean in and kiss the side of her neck. I breathe in the scent of her skin and listen to the November rain fall. She lets me run my hands up her shirt and onto her breasts. Lily closes her eyes and rests her head back on the top of the arm chair.

I kiss her chin and move back down. Outside it's cloudy and I feel her soft smooth skin through the dark. I know her body as well as I do my own. We make one complete person together. Adam and Eve. Part of a whole. Together forever… even in death…

I change into more formal clothes and brush my teeth quickly. My parents are sitting in the living room waiting. Lily is currently trying her best to entertain them but failing miserably I walk in during the knock, knock jokes.

"Oh thank god!" She exclaims when I sit down next to her.

"Hello? Someone?" Lily jumps up and runs to her parents. They greet her with wide grins and loving kisses. A moment later Miley and Jake appear in the doorway with baked goods and smiles.

Lily brags about my cooking and makes it known that it was all me. I try to stop her but she claims I'm 'just too modest.' During desert (strawberry cheesecake with a famous strawberry dressing I concocted drizzled onto the top) Lily gently takes my hand, this is it. She nervously fumbles with her napkin and clears her throat.

"There is a reason Oliver and I asked you guys to come tonight." She pauses and I nod to give her support. This is Lily's evening and I will give her the glory of sharing our good news.

"Well I'm… you see oh hell I'm pregnant."

I can't help but laugh; that was a pure Lily moment. The table is quiet before her mother bursts into tears and grabs Lily and hugs her tightly. My dad along with Lily's shake hands and congratulate on being grandfathers. Miley is next after her mother to squeeze the life out of Lily. I feel a little bad. Lily has always hated getting too much attention true; she's crazy and loves parties but never being the center of it all.

Questions begging flying a mile a minute. Lily and I are too over whelmed to answer. Everyone is bubbling over with joy. Lily smiles happily and I know that she has finally realized what I tried to tell her.

"Oh I'll let you barrow a few of Rose's old things! And don't worry Lily I'll help with everything this is going to be very exciting! By the time I had Robert I was an expert at this!" Miley explains.

Jake pats me on the shoulder. "Alright man! Having kids is one of the best feelings. You are in for a great time."

Lily and I exchange glances from across the room. I wink at her and she blushes slightly and turns back to Miley as she babbles about what Lily should expect for the next few months.

Later when everyone leaves I find myself just staring at Lily as she washes the dishes. She look amazing in her light blue fitted dress. Her hair is now tied in a bun and she is drying her hands off with a dish rag.

"What are you doing?" She smirks giving me a funny look.

"Just basking in you beauty." I say with a sigh as if it was nothing.

"Why do I put up with you?" She laughs throwing the towel back on the counter.

"Novelty? My boyish good looks?"

"Dream on."

"Counting on it." I say getting up from the kitchen chair and hugging her closely.

(November 19, 2026 Lily and Oliver: 35)

LILY: I'm waiting for Oliver in our favorite little coffee shop. The room is warm and I feel like passing out on that green couch in the corner and calling it a day. I haven't ordered yet but if that boy doesn't show up soon I'll have too.

Morning sickness has finally gotten to me. Every day I wake and visit the toilet. We're great friends now. I'm craving bread and ice cream twenty four seven and right now I want coffee but I can't have it.

The door opens and I look up hoping to see a familiar face but it's not him. It's a tall blond woman. I sigh and put my head back on the table. I finger with the small salt and pepper shakers and count the seconds till I see my Ollie.

He had to run back to the out store and pick up a few things for the meeting next week. I wonder if-

"Excuse me?"

I lift my head it's the blond woman again. She's smiling so wide I think her lips might fling off her face.

"Yeah?" I say a little annoyed I'm not in the mood to small talk with a stranger.

"Are you…" She stops and shakes her head. "Are you Lily?" I nod and she's looking at me like I'm her own personal Jesus. Man! Did I know her from another time? Do I meet her later because I sure don't remember her.

"I'm your daughter."

Wait, what? "Huh?" I say as she sits down. I look at her. She has good hair nice hair bouncy a little curlier then mine and she is slim and pretty. "Hi." She smiles shaking my hand.

"Hey." I say slowly trying not to fall over.

"I know this is a lot to handle."

"How old are you?" I ask.

"Twenty six."

I really look at her now. My daughter grew up nicely. Like before there are my eyes and hair and skin color but as always when she smiles its all Oliver.

"Can you tell me your name or is it still a secret?" I say Oliver and I have been having the worst time with names.

She shakes her head no. "Sorry mom no can do. I saw you in the window and I just wanted to see you. I've missed you."

This hurts me. "So I guess I disappoint you a lot. Not being able to be with you."

My girl frowns. "No, never you loved me very fiercely." Her voice is so powerful and serious that I wonder if she's really talking about me.

"So how is your life? I know that's stupid but how are you with handling this traveling thing? Do you have any boyfriends?"

She laughs. "Well I'm married actually."

"What!" I shout.

"Last year I got married."

"To who?!" I'm mad she's too young.

"Robert Ryan." She blushes. I can't believe this. My kid falls for a Ryan?! Well if he's anything like Jake then I can't blame her.

"So? What's that like?" I ask not sure if I really want to know.

"It's good he understands my disability and we handle it together. Miley sometimes says we remind her of you and dad. My doctor is Cindy Brown actually. She's good but makes me want to strangle her sometimes." She laughs.

"Tell me about it. So enlighten me about this husband of yours."

"He's sweet. Robert is an artist he works for a publishing company and creates the pictures and covers for books."

I like him already. "What do you do?"

"I dabble in writing. I'm currently working on a novel about well you and dad." She is blushing as am I. She's writing a book about me?

"Why?"

"Because I love you." She says simply and it all makes perfect sense to me.

"It sounds like everything works out…" I stop I have a question that has burning inside of me every since I knew I was going to have a child. I take in a deep breath. "How old were you when… when I died?"

"…Eight."

Oh God. Oh God. I fall back on the chair and try my best not to throw up. This is too much I don't want to know anymore. That isn't enough time! I want to know this wonderful woman before me! I want to know my own daughter! This isn't fair!

"Mom?"

I don't speak.

"Oh mom don't I know what your thinking and you were there! For every time that I truly needed you. You came to my sixteenth birthday. You were at my wedding! You gave me long talks about growing up and getting my period! Mom you were there! You saw me grow up. I'm like this because of _you_."

We start to cry and get up and hug her. I'm hugging my future little girl. The shop door opens again and in walks Oliver.

"I finally find it. This sucker was under mountains of other paperwork and… who is this?"

I laugh at Oliver and make him sit next to me. "Oliver meet your daughter." He gets very quiet and looks from me to her and then back to me.

"Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack."

"Can I… can I hug you?" He asks bashfully.

"Oh course dad!" She smiles through the tears. As they hug and I watch. Oliver looks overjoyed. His eyes are wide with wonder

"I'll get you two pretty ladies a drink what do you want?" He asks me.

"Water."

"Coffee."

Oliver runs off to the counter.

"What about Ollie?" I ask her once he's out of ear shot. "What is he like afterwards?"

"Sad." She says grimly. I feel faint. "Just sad."

I try not to cry, I really try. I look away from my little girl. "But does he…" I try to take control over my shaky voice. "I mean does he learn to smile or laugh again?"

She shrugs. "Sometimes. When you come to visit on a trip he gets very happy and sad all at the same time. He usually pushes you to me. He likes for you and I to have as much time together as we can. He says is makes him feel selfish when he spends time with you. But he's a great dad. He tries for me. He says I'm the reason he lives."

I put my head in my hands. Oliver oh Oliver.

"Here we go." A cherry voice says setting down my water and our daughter's coffee.

I look up at him as he seats himself next to me. Oliver smiles softly at me and I lean in and kiss him fully on the mouth.

"Uh Lily?" Hr says pulling away. "Not in front of our daughter." She laughs and sips her coffee.

"To be honest dad I really don't mind have at it."

I snuggle closer to Oliver and hold him tightly. I press myself against him and he does not pull back. He grips me and puts his face in my hair.

"I think my time is up."

I look back at my little girl she is looking a little pale. "Safe journey home." I tell her with a soft smile.

As she walks away she shouts. "Always and forever!"

The coffee shop door shuts and I don't see her. Oliver kisses me and I kiss back. We are kissing and I never want to stop. Outside it is gray and cloudy and cold. But in his arms all is safe and warm. I don't want to go.

…….

To be honest I wasn't sure about doing what I did there. Do you hate me? I'm sorry it had to be this way. I've been listening to a lot of RachaelYamagata. For the middle and ending part of this I was humming along with her song: "_Would You Please_." I like it.

Lazy Days


	16. Buzz

(June 1, 2026 Lily and Oliver: 35)

LILY: My eyes pop open at 6:43 in the morning. I hear Oliver snoring from behind me and I slowly lean forward and try to sit up. I grasp the bed sheets and grunt as I pull my body weight my daughter's weight up.

I reach my goal and give a long sigh. I look over at Oliver and smile. The very top of his head is poking up from the covers. His hair is shorter now from his hair cut last week. I watch the early morning shadows move across the floor.

Our cream colored curtains are pulled shut but a thin line of sun sneaks its way free. I'm at peace and so is the baby. She is not moving or turning, she is still and I'm grateful. I feel Oliver turn around in bed. I know he is watching me even through closed eyes. I feel his hand creep up my shirt and to my stomach.

He strokes my stomach and kisses my hot skin. I open my eyes as he rests him head on me. He is whispering something to the baby. I wait until he is finished. "We need a name Ollie."

He nods. "I'll get the book." Oliver reaches for the large green book titled _Dictionary of Given Names _on his nightstand and we flip through it.

"Jane?" I say.

Oliver makes a face and turns two pages. "It means gift of god." We shake our heads.

"Let's try something a little unusual. Irette? Or Jodotha?" Oliver says bubbling with ideas.

I laugh and take the book from him. "What about Clare?" Oliver chews on the inside of his cheek and repeats the name over and over.

"Clare… Clare… I like it. Bookmark that one."

I fold the top part of the page and we read on. "Look, how about Audrey?" Oliver offers with a smirk. I shrug my shoulders. "Mark that one too."

"Wait!" Oliver says taking the book and smiling. "Beatrix." I think about it. I put my hold over my stomach and rub it. Are you a Beatrix? "What does it mean?" I ask.

Oliver clears his throat. "Latin for voyager, traveler through life."

I look at Oliver and he stares back at me. We nod together. Oliver puts his hand on my taut stomach again and Beatrix kicks hard where his hand is. He stares up at me, amazed. He runs his hands over me exploring the unfamiliar territory. "How many Okens can you fit in there?"

"Oh, there's room for one more."

"Beatrix." He says softly.

"Time voyager."

"She'll like it." Oliver is pulling my underwear down my legs and over my ankles. He tosses it off the bed and looks at me.

"Careful…"

"Very careful." He agrees and strips off his clothes.

(June 2, 2026)

LILY: I'm lounging in one of the lawn chairs out back. There is a half drunk glass of lemonade next to me with melting ice cubes in it. Oliver is out for the afternoon with his brother. I needed some time to myself anyway so I was happy to wave them off. He should be back soon for dinner but I'm hungry now.

Beatrix has been squirming around and I consider getting up and hunting for something edible in the kitchen. But I decide on what I always do when Oliver isn't around to feed me. I get up slowly, in increments and walk sedately to the house.

I find my purse, turn off the living room light, write a note and lock the doors. Being out and walking feels good. Once again I' am surprised and surprised to be surprised at how big I really am. But I recover quickly at the door of the small Thai Restaurant.

The restaurant is cool and full of people. I get ushered to a table near the window. I order spring rolls and Pad Thai with tofu, safe and bland. I drink a whole glass of water. Beatrix presses against my bladder; I go to the bathroom and when I return my food is waiting.

I imagine what Oliver and I would be discussing if he were here. Next I picture Beatrix sitting with me. I see her blond hair tied up in a messy pony tail. She is eating with me and slurping up her noodles and playing with her stuffed elephant named Alfonzo.

I pay and leave. The sky is getting darker and I hurry home. When I see our house on the corner street I fiddle with my keys and open the door.

"Thank God!" Oliver shouts running to me. We kiss and I give him a funny look. "I thought you were at the hospital!"

"Well I wrote a note." I say putting my things down. He smacks his forehead and laughs. We sit down and curl up to one another. I'm home.

(June, 3 2026 Oliver and Lily: 35)

OLIVER: Lily has pacing around the house like a tiger. The contractions come every twenty minutes. I tell her to try and get some sleep. She lies down only to get right back up. Around three she finally gets some sleep. I watch her and play with her hair. Her breathing is nice and regular. I drift with her.

"I want to go to the hospital." Lily says at four. I open my eyes and glance up at her stern face.

"Sure. Let's call up Miley." I reach for the phone and dial their number. It rings four times before Jake answers.

"Muh?" He says.

"It's time. Want a lift?" I hear him mutter something and then I hear Miley tell me she will pick us up. I call Doctor Kendrick's office, the women Cindy told us about, and leave a message. I turn and see Lily crotched down on all fours rocking back and forth.

"Oliver… pray tell, why we decided to do this again?"

"Supposedly when they let you keep the baby. Come on, I'll get your bag and we'll wait for Miley and Jake." I help her up and we walk outside.

In no time their car is in our driveway. Miley helps me maneuver Lily into the back seat with me. Lily is sweating and holds my hand tightly.

"It hurts. Oh God it hurts." She hisses.

"Think of something else… something nice." Miley encourages rubbing her back.

"Tell me… about something." Lily begs holding my hand at bone shattering strength. I rack my memory for something, anything to calm her. "Remember that day at the beach when we were ten? You and I surfed for the very first time. It was in late August and the water was perfect: nice and cool just the way we like it."

"I r-remember- Oh God!" Lily cries.

"Come on Lily it's just the baby leaning on your spine, you've got to turn, okay?" Miley says softly. Lily changes her position and breathes out slowly. We reach the hospital and we get out. As soon as Lily steps out of the car her water breaks.

Miley runs to fill out the paperwork at the front desk and I help Lily into a wheelchair. An old hefty black nurse smiles at us. "Hello I'm Annette. I'll take you to Doctor Kendrick."

I follow as she wheels Lily down the hall. Once we are in the room Lily immediately gets on her hands and knees. Miley puts things away, toiletries in the bathroom clothes in the closet. Jake and I stand helplessly.

"Lily how about a bath? You'll feel better in warm water." Miley nods at her. Lily is panting and can't move. I bring her to the bathroom where Annette is filling the tub. Jake excuses himself from the room.

"Should I stay?" I ask Lily.

"Yes! You stay where I can see you!" Lily demands. She gets into the tub and I have to sit and watch tears pour from her pretty blue eyes. Miley walks back to the room to pull the covers down off the bed and fix up the place.

Lily makes a terrible noise; it is a deep despairing groan of pure agony. I shudder, what have I done to her? I think of fourteen year old Lily lying in the wet sand at the beach laughing at my lame jokes. Oh Lily I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

Annette checks Lily's cervix. "Six centimeter, good girl." She coos. Lily smiles then grimaces while clutching her stomach and letting out another howl of pain. I feel sick and faint. I run my fingers through her hair and rub her back.

Doctor Kendrick rushes to us as she walks into the room. She begins telling us a bunch of information that means nothing to me. But then she turns to Lily. "Would you like an epidural?"

Lily nods fiercely and we get her out of the tub and into a dry night gown. Miley is waiting by the bed with ice chips. After she places them down she looks to me I nod and she leaves. Lily lies down on her side and whimpers. Her face glistens in the florescent lights she is wet with sweat and tears.

A man with a beard comes in and hooks up an IV and inserts an extremely long needle into her spine. Kendrick is examining her and frowning at the fetal monitor.

"Lily." She says softly crouching down to her level. "Your little girl is scared. The heat beat is racing. You have to be clam, Lily, so the baby can be clam, yes?"

"_It hurts so much._"

"That is because she is very big." Kendrick's voice is quiet and soothing. "How are you doing Oliver?" She asks smiling at me.

"Not very relaxed." I say nervously my eyes darting to Lily and back to Kendrick.

"Things are improving: see?" Say Kendrick. "It is like a cloud that passes over, the pain goes away." I watch Lily's face loose a bit of the tension. "Your doing much better. Tell her you are fine. Sing her a song?"

Lily looks up at me. "Say the E.E Cummings poem." She asks in a raspy voice. Kendrick walks to back of the room and flips the lights off. It is nice and dark and cool. The machine deeps and I crawl into the bed with her. I rest my head on Lily's stomach and whisper the poem.

"_Lily has a rose_

_(I have none)_

_"don't cry dear violet_

_you may take mine"_

_"O how, how, how_

_could I ever wear it now_

_when the boy who gave it to_

_you is the tallest of the boys"_

_"He'll give me another_

_if I let him kiss me twice_

_but my lover has a brother_

_who is good and kind to all"_

_"O no, no, no_

_let the roses come and go_

_for kindness and goodness do_

_not make a fellow tall"_

_Lily has a rose_

_no rose I've_

_and losing's less than winning(but_

_love is more than love)" _

Kendrick smiles and clicks off the machine. "Perfect she's doing better." She beams at us and walks out with Annette. Lily is drifting off to sleep and I take a moment to watch her but my eye accidentally catches with the anesthesiologist's his face clearly reads: _What kind of a pussy are you, anyway?_

LILY: The sun is up and I'm lying numb on this strange bed in a blue room. The pain has left but I know that it is not far gone, that it is sulking somewhere under the bed and will jump out when I least expect it. The contractions come and go, remote, muffled, like fog hanging over me.

Oliver is sitting with me. Miley and Jake came in earlier just to check in. Miley fed me shaved ice out of a paper cup, it tasted like stale snow. Oliver looks ready to throw up so I put my hand on his shoulder and smile. "It's ok." I say.

It's ok Beatrix, you're not hurting me: Come out, come out where ever you are. Time passes and the pain rolls in and out. Annette comes in and checks me. She smiles and tells us I'm ready to head over to the delivery room. I'm shaved and scrubbed and moved out on a gurney and rolled through hallways. I watch the ceiling lights flash by.

We reach the room and everything is white and red. Oliver is wearing surgical scrubs and I can't help but wonder when he changed. I'm feeling a little light headed. I wonder why we are here and not at home safe and sound. But then I feel her, my daughter, she is surging and rushing and I push without thinking and I do this again and again like a game or a song.

I'm holding Oliver's hand and I hear him muttering something I can't hear. "She's crowned!" I hear Kendrick say. I push and push and I put my hand down to feel her delicate slippery wet velvet head. I want to hold her so badly so I push harder this time and then she is out. I feel empty and released. She is pink and curled into a small ball she let's out a scream and then I'm gone.

OLIVER: I can't help but cry just a little. I turn to Lily to tell her how wonderful she is and how much I love her but she has vanished. I have a pang of sadness. But then I see our daughter I take her in my arms and I look down into her deep blue eyes. She is cleaned and sucking her thumb.

There is a loud thud and my Lily is back lying on the delivery bed. Kendrick takes my daughter from me and I walk over and cover Lily up. She looks exhausted but happy. "Let me see her." She says and Kendrick hands Lily the baby. Lily strokes our daughter's chubby face and smiles. "Hello Beatrix."

It's the evening of Beatrix's first day on earth. The three of us are surrounded by balloons and small teddy bears. Lily is cradling her and kissing her cheeks. I sit cross-legged on the end of the bed and take pictures of them.

Snap! There's one of Lily laughing as Beatrix blows colostrums bubbles.

Snap! A close up on my precious baby girl's face.

Snap! All of us together snuggled up close.

I'm unloading the camera when I ask Lily, "Where did you go? In the delivery room?"

"Oh, I was walking around our old middle school hallways for twenty or so in the evening." She replies with a laugh.

"Are you ok?"

She shrugs. "I was pretty upset. I mean right when I'm about to meet Bee I get transported through time."

"Bee?" I say rising an eyebrow.

"Bumble Bee." Lily laughs. "Buzz." We spend the next few minutes making bee noises at little Beatrix.

"Knock, knock." Miley says walking in with Jake both smiling. Lily's head snaps up. "Come in! Come in!" She says waving them over. Miley holds Bee first and Jake collapses in one of the chairs.

I lie back on the bed and let Lily giggle with Miley for a minute. I haven't had a moment to just sit and soak it all in. Lily is glowing, she is smiling non stop and keeps playing with little Bee. My heart soars at the sight of them: My girls.

(June 5, 2026 Lily and Oliver: 35)

LILY: I wake up to music playing. Oliver has our copy of the Garden State movie soundtrack playing. Nick Drake's _One Of These Things First _is on softly filling up the house. Every muscle in my body aches. I get out of the bed carefully. My mouth is dry and has a bad taste in it. My breasts hurt, my cunt hurts.

Bee isn't in her crib. I walk downstairs and into the living room. Oliver holding her and the two of them are on the couch reading the newspaper. Bee reaches out at the paper with his small hands. Her eyes are huge and wide with curiosity.

"Sleep well?" Oliver asks looking to me.

"Yes, until I woke up I'm so sore." I whine and sit next to them. Oliver wraps his free hands around me and kisses my head. Later I take a nap. I dream about the forest and fields of sunflowers. When I wake up Bee is crying and Oliver is trying to sooth her with a song.

I take her from him and laugh. I unbutton my top and begin to feed her. She sucks on me and fall back asleep.

"Oliver!" I say and he comes running in from the kitchen. "Take her!" I say I can feel it coming. Oliver gently scoops Beatrix up from me and I hold my head and…

(September 15, 2042 Oliver: 51 Lily: 35)

LILY: I hit the ground very hard. It knocks the breath out of me and I roll over on my back to try and gulp up as much oxygen as I can. When I finally regain some control. A young girl hands me a robe. I slip it on and sit in a chair next to a bed.

"Hey mom." She sighs sadly.

"Beatrix?"

"In the flesh. Oh and I'm sixteen."

"Cool." I say still a little woozy. Bee gracefully folds her long legs in Indian style on her yellow bed. She sits up straight and stares at me. "Can you talk or are you too tired?" She asks.

"I'm never too tired for you, but just give me a second." I say pinching the skin above my nose and breathing in and out of my nose carefully and slowly. "Okay! I'm all ears!" I smile looking at her.

She sighs and picks at her toenails that are painted a light pink. "I think I'm in love."

I tilt my head to the side. "With who?"

"Robert Ryan." She admits wincing. "No way!" I shout jumping excitedly. It's always fun to know that something like this ends happily.

"Guilty." Bee giggles. "But he keeps telling me I'm too young. I know he's five years older then me but I just really like him."

"Age doesn't matter." I tell her. "But if I remember my facts correctly he'll come around." I watch her face light up.

"Really? I know he and I have been great friends through out the years but… really?" She is glowing with happiness.

"Yes." I say grinning. "Just keep right on loving him things will turn out for the better." We hug and as we pull apart I look around. The room is a nice shade of red and there are many windows. This room in my time is mine and Oliver's study.

"Where's your dad?" I ask.

"He's… out." Bee tell me still smiling. "I think he and Jake went out somewhere together."

"Don't tell him I came ok? I don't want him to know that he missed me."

"Sure but he should be back soon. I know that he would like to see you." Bee assures me.

"Sorry baby but I think my time is almost-"

"Honey!" I hear Oliver shout from the front door.

I quickly dash out of her room and run to him. Oliver is standing by the front door looking through the mail.

"Ollie…" I say with a smirk. He looks up at me and smiles a lop sided wrinkled smile. His hair is getting gray and he is wearing reading glasses.

I stride over to him and embrace him tightly. "Where are you coming from?" He asks smelling my hair. "June 5th 2026 we just had Bee." I reply eyes closed lost in his tender touch.

"Ahh those are wonderful times." He tell me not pulling away. "You still smell the same as I remember."

I don't respond. Oliver is lost deep, deep in thought. His hands are old but I know them well. They are the hands that led mine during long walks. They are the hands that cup my cheeks during a good, good kiss.

"I love you." I say clinging to him nuzzling his chest.

"I love you." He whispers. And then I leave…

…….

CraftyNotePad I just loved the names you gave me! As you might have noticed Beatrix was my absolute favorite. I hope the whole hospital scene was fairly realistic. Not having had a child before I'm a little clueless. I just used the knowledge I had, which is why most of it is written from Oliver's perspective. There's still more to come. Leave your thoughts.

Lazy Days


	17. With a Kiss

(June 3, 2039 Oliver: 48 and Lily: 36)

OLIVER: Bee is very excited. She has been bouncing off the walls all day long. I ordered the cake and the presents are set up in the dinning room. The Ryan's my parents and Lily's parents are all here. Just like every birthday.

The house is over flowing with guests, my nieces and nephews are so grown up. Little Bee seats herself at the head of the table and smiles at her family. There is an empty chair next to me, just in case. As we begin eating the cake Bee looks up at me.

"Will she come?" She asks her eyes wide.

I shrug. "Don't know sweetheart." I glance over at Lily's mother her face is paler then it once was and her lips are formed in a tight nervous smile. Lily's father is beyond repair. He speaks as little as possible and he has never looks so old.

We have light conversation about school, college, work. James is thinking of buying a small apartment on Maine Street and Rose is applying for different schools near home. I don't have much to say. I just listen and let Beatrix have her day.

We hear the front door open and someone swear. I leap up from the now quiet table and run to the door. Lily is standing and taking off her sandals that are covered in mud. "You know it was very difficult to swipe these sandals and clothes." She grumbles. She flips her hair back out of her face and smiles at me. "Bonjour aimer."

I take her hand and lead her into the kitchen where everyone is seated and anxiously awaiting her.

"Mom!" Bee cries jumping from the table. Lily holds out her arms and captures her into a tight embrace. "You know a little birdie told me today was your birthday." She whispers in Beatrix ear.

Bee giggles and looks around. "Here come sit over here." She says dragging Lily over to the empty seat. "We saved you a place… just in case." Lily thanks her and smiles around the table.

"Hey guys." She says waving. Everyone is still Lily frowns. "Please." She whispers. "Please just behave for today. No sad faces."

Miley is the first to perk up. "So Beatrix I see a lot of presents over there. Want do you say? Let's start opening them?"

I watch Lilly mouth a thank-you to Miley which she blows off with a hand wave. Bee opens her first gift. I'm not paying too much attention to anyone but Lily. I play with her hair and kiss her hands.

After things begin winding down Lily takes me in a separate room. We close the door on the small den and I grab her. I press my mouth against hers and shiver at the calming effect it has on me. I lead us to the big armchair, I sit down in the cushion and she gets comfortable in my lap.

I'm kissing her and running a free hand up her shirt and onto the tender skin of her back. Lily pulls away slowly and frowns. "I hate the way everyone was acting."

"I'm sorry Lily. It takes times." I tell her not really hearing myself. I'm far too busy just running my fingers over her strawberry lips. I miss you, oh I miss you. Nights are the worst. Sleeping alone is torture.

But then I think of Bee. She doesn't know her mother the way I do. This is wrong. I get up and push Lily away. This is so hard, knowing that in a matter of seconds she could just vanish. "I think you should see Beatrix."

Lily goes along with what I tell her. We walk out of the den and into the living room. Everyone is talking and looking over the presents. I see books, music and clothes spread out on the coffee table.

"Mom, come here! I want to show you something." Lily glides over to Bee and the two sit together and look through the pile. I take a seat next to my parents. My mother puts an arm around me.

"You are an amazing person." She says in my hair as she holds me close. I get up from the couch just as I feel tears rise from my eyes. I walk to the kitchen and grip the counter with both hands. I let out a shaky breath.

"Oliver? Oliver?"

Miley walks into the kitchen and spots me. I quickly stand up straight and wipe the tears that were just about to fall away. "Oh hey." I smile weakly at her. She frowns and walks over to me. She puts the wrapping paper down and pulls me into a hug.

"It's ok Oliver. I know this is hard for you but you were doing so well. It's hard on all of us." She whispers in my ear. "I know you and I haven't been very close since well January but I want you to know that I think you are the bravest person I know." As we pull apart I shrug and choke back a sob.

Miley kisses my cheek and gives an encouraging squeeze to my arm. I hear something break. Quickly Miley and I turn around. Lily is glaring at us with a wild expression on her face. She grits down on her teeth. "What are you doing?" Her voice is hard. The cup she was holding is in pieces on the floor.

Debra, Lily's mother, comes running in. "Oh my! Let's get that cleaned up." She reaches for the broom. Lily steps away from everyone. I don't understand what is going on. What does she mean?

"Lily? What are you talking about?" I ask reaching out for her my voice raspy.

"You and _her_ you two are… are _together_." She hisses. I stop dead in my tracks.

"What the _hell_?" I shout. "Lily I love you! Miley was only comforting me. I love _you_!" I take her hand but she tears it way from me.

"I can't believe this! I saw you two! I saw you! You were just waiting for me to die weren't you!?" She screams. I can't breathe. The woman I have loved for my entire existence is telling me I wanted her dead. I can't breathe.

"Lily don't say that, don't ever say that…" I cringe as she turns away from me. Everyone is silent. I can't see Beatrix, I don't want her to witness this she doesn't need this right now.

Lily walks out of the kitchen and I follow hot on her tail. "What is this about Lily? I know you don't really think this do you?"

"I don't know what I think anymore!" She cries. "Everything is so wrong! This isn't what I wanted! This isn't the way it's supposed to be! Oliver oh Oliver baby I don't want to die! I don't want to go. It's all so unfair. I'm so scared…"

Lily runs to me and I hug her close. We cry together out of our own agony of future and past events that have complete control. She kisses my cheeks and lips. I can't stop sobbing five years of pent up emotions are leaking out.

"Don't go!" I cry. "Don't go just stay here, stay here with me…" I'm begging her, pleading with her but she shakes her head and then I'm holding air. I don't notice until I turn around that we had an audience. Everyone is staring blankly at me. I collapse on the couch and put my head in my hands and cry.

"I love you daddy." Bee whispers to me as she sits next to me on the couch. "I love you."

(August 17, 2031 Lily and Oliver: 40)

LILY: I'm unloading the dishwasher. I put the forks, knifes, and spoons in the brown drawer and the cups in the top brown cabinet. The afternoon sun is hot and streaming through the kitchen window. I have light jazz music playing on the old record player in the living room.

After I finish I look around. The house isn't spotless; it is organized in a cluttered kind of way. Oliver's working tonight and I should have gone with him but I wanted to stay home and wait for Bee. It was her first day at school.

I walked her to the classroom and kissed her goodbye. She skipped in and started playing with the big blocks in the corner. It was harder for me to leave then it was for her. I spent the day looking over a few papers Oliver wanted me to sign for the music shop. He wants to add on an upstairs to the building.

And then I took a walk around the park. I hear the front door burst open and Bee's noisy Mary Jane shoes patting the hardwood as she runs to me. "How was your day?" I ask with a big smile and helping her get her pink backpack off.

"It was great! Mrs. Brunette says I can bring something for show and tell tomorrow!"

"Wonderful hey Bumble Bee? You didn't have any time traveling problems did you?" I ask feeing a little nervous.

"Nope! You'd be so proud mommy!" She says bouncing and pocking through the pantry. "What's for dinner?" I give a sigh of relief.

(August 18 2031 Lily and Oliver: 40)

LILY: I'm sitting in Cindy's office. She is pacing back and fourth and muttering under her breath. "Ok so remember when we tried to clone your genes and put them into mice?" I nod and let her go on.

"Well I'm going to try one more time. The last experiment went down hill, only one of the five mice survived. But they traveled and that's what I was looking for. It seems that over time the mice get worn down by the traveling. Their bodies can't adapt."

I shake my head. "So where does this leave me?"

"I've been meddling with a few new drugs. One of my friends Doctor Parker has been assisting me in the lab. If I play my cards right and test my new medicine on the mice I think I can make your body stop traveling all together."

After listening to her I'm not sure if I should smile or hit my head against the wall. I'm not sure about anything anymore. I die. There, end of story. But then something in the back of my head wonders if maybe this is a second universe. Maybe I survive. Maybe I stay here and now in this time frame forever…

"So what do you think?" Cindy asks me sitting down and looking through my file.

"Huh?"

"I said what do you think about me looking at Beatrix's DNA?"

"No!" I say sharply. "No we are not doing that." Cindy puts the folder down.

"Lily, she's young she has a better chance to respond positively to the medication."

"I said _no_ when Bee is eighteen she can decide for herself. So far everything you've given me in the past is a nightmare."

"But we might be able to develop gene therapy for her-"

"Stop it!" I shout clasping my hands tightly in my lap. "People have died from gene therapy."

Brown is silent. We don't talk, I grab my purse and as I'm about to walk out I tell her, "I'm your lab rat doc anything goes for me. But stay away from my baby."

OLIVER: Lily hasn't been around much lately. It bother's me because she's missing so much of our daughter growing up. It seems every few minutes she will vanish. At the dinner table, in the bedroom early in the morning or late at night. It's getting a little ridiculous.

Where is she going? Lily won't tell me, she won't let me in. Her only responds is that she sees me. I feel like I'm sinking under all this worry. I'm waving my white flag but Lily isn't even around to notice.

I'm sitting with little Bee on the red rug in the living room. She is showing me her school work and I have one of our Schuyler Fisk albums playing. Lily walks in and slams the door. She stomps on the ground hard and screams: "Damn it!" At the top of her lungs. Bad day.

I kiss Beatrix's worried cheek and walk into the foray and find Lily sitting on the floor with her head leaning against the door and staring at the ceiling. "Hey. "I say softly. Lily turns her head and gives me a sad look. Her eyes are red from crying.

I take her hand and kiss it before intertwining my fingers with hers. She whispers an apologize and I tell her never to do that. She has nothing to be sorry about. We kiss and I play with the ends of her hair.

"Mommy? Daddy?" A scared voice asks from the hallway.

"Bumble Bee get over here." Lily smiles holding out her hands. Beatrix giggles and runs to us. The three of us come together and I kiss both of my girl's heads. "I'll make dinner. What would you like Bee?"

"Jell-o!" She squeals as we walk to the kitchen. "Not a chance." I tell her sternly. Lily picks our little girl up and swings her around and into her little booster seat. I make us noodles, broccoli, and beef. We mix the three foods together and sit in silence letting Mrs. Frisk's words fill the air: "_I bet you'll be fine, I bet you'll be fine_…"

Later in the evening after we wrestled Bee into pajamas and into her small twin bed we collapsed into bed. I put my hands behind my head and closed my eyes. I feel Lily adjust her position on the bed. I feel the heat from her body close to me. She runs her finger down my jaw line.

I loosen up and burrow further into the bed. She kisses my forehead and I hear her whisper my name. I open one eye and see a faint outline of her face in the moonlight. I open both of my eyes and take her beauty in.

My Lily, my blond carefree Lily, I love you.

We don't talk. I can hear Bee's classical tape playing over and over Beethoven's _Moonlight_. I get under the blue sheets and Lily follows me. She curls up next to me and words flout up from my lips:

"_I carry your heart with me (I carry it in_

_my heart) I am never without it (anywhere_

_I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done_

_by only me is your doing, my darling)_

_I fear_

_No fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want_

_no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)_

_and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant_

_and whatever a sun will always sing is you_

_Here is the deepest secret nobody knows_

_(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud_

_and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows_

_higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)_

_and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart_

_I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)"_

"E.E Cummings, my favorite." She smiles. "I know." I whisper back tracing the lines around her eyes and the softness of her lips. She presses her body fully against mine and we lay together in the night surrounded as if in a cocoon of cool cotton sheets.

"You are my everything Ollie." She says sealing it with a kiss.

…..

**Author's Note:** I love E.E Cummings with a burning passion, really I do. I like it because it says _so _much in a simple childlike way. If you're a little smarty pants you'll know why I put that poem up as Lily and Oliver's poem. There are select verses that say everything. Anyway I adore all of your guys's reviews and as always: Leave your thoughts.

Lazy Days


	18. Sad Songs

**Author's Note:**

_CraftyNotePad_: I hate it when pomes are not capitalized so that's why I didn't leave E E Cummings things in lower case. Sorry, It just really bothers me I know that's a lame excuse. Also I don't think I'll add little Bee. She's not really going to be a major character, but then again I think it's all in the way you look at it. There will be more interaction with her as an adult or teen (I haven't quiet decided on the exact age I want it to mean something.) As always I still love your thoughts and sharp eye.

_Simplypink_: Well I'm very sorry I made you cry. Believe me it's wasn't my intention. But I'm happy you're still enjoying it.

_X Miss Magic X_: You're right. Even the somewhat happy scenes are a tad depressing knowing that a dark future is to come. But I hope you'll keep reading.

_LovesNature_: Ai! Ai Captain! Here is your next chapter. So I guess this means your enjoying the story?

_Lilerin91_: Believe it or not I don't want Lily to die but it's just too good to pass up. I do hope though that the over all ending will make you happy, you'll understand when I finish.

_Daisy617_: Yes, yes sad but true. Although Lily will be there through out most of her daughter's life. But I know it's just not the same. I'm very happy to see that your still reading even though your not a big Oliver/Lily fan. Thanks.

To those of you guys who are reading this but not commenting: Hello and thank-you for wasting your summer on me. And if you happen to feel like it, comment. What you say doesn't matter I just like hearing that people are still happily reading.

…….

(October 27, 2033 Lily and Oliver: 42)

LILY: The music is loud. I don't want to think. I want to drown and never come up from the strong melodies and words. I' am perfectly aware of my whole body. My senses are perked and everything in me tingles. It is early evening, twilight. I'm lying in our backyard on the grass. I' am one with the earth.

I was given life from the ground. God breathed life into me from the dirt. I run my hands over the soft green grass. I have accepted it. I understand it. I know how it ends, now. It goes like this: I will be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Always, always the wrong time for me. I will not see it coming.

It will be late at night on an autumn evening. It will be cold and it will be drizzling all in the year 1995. Oliver will be asleep, he will be four years old. There will be five men, big and strong. There will be an argument outside of the local bar.

I will land right in the middle of it. The men won't see me until after the first few punches until after the gun shot. It will be quick and I thank the heavens for that. The wind will pick up as I lie there. I'll smell the rusted and iron scent of my blood.

And I will think nothing, I will not breath, I will not move. I'll lie in a curled position screaming, screaming his name: _Oliver! Oliver!_ Because just like a thief time and death work together side by side.

And then: _Dear God. Dear God. Dear God. Hush! Hide! _I'll disappear. I sit up from my lounging spot on the grass. My body has made an imprint in the ground. The grass is bent at a funny angle. I' am the grass. Imprinted in this life but always the grass will straighten. And I will be erased.

I walk to the house's back door. As I twist the knob the thought comes to me and I stare up at the sky as an airplane flies by: Somewhere out there I' am dying…

(October 31, 2033 Lily and Oliver: 42)

OLIVER: I have taken Beatrix out tricker treating. She is passed out on the kitchen table with thousands of candy wrappers around her.

"Maybe we should have taught her about self control?" Lily offers standing next to me looking at her with her arms wrapped around her waist.

"Nah." I smile. "She had a blast."

I watch as Lily picks her up and carries her to her room, I follow silently. Once setting her on the bed Lily begins to peel the bumble bee costume off of our daughter. Beatrix groans as Lily pulls down her black tights.

"Just leave it." Bee yawns turning over. Lily and I share a laugh. I turn off the light and kiss her good night.

"How was your day?" I ask Lily sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling my socks off.

"So-so. I hung out and read a little more of my book. We only got three costumers I think Miley told everyone how bad our candy was."

"Those damn Ryan's." I laugh falling back my legs still dangling off the edge of the bed. Lily is acting strange. She is standing in the bathroom just staring at herself in the mirror. I want to know what is going through her head. Where has she been? I stay put on the bed waiting for her to come to bed.

She looks too thin, it bothers me. She looks sick. "Hey Lily? You wanna get some sleep?"

She doesn't answer. She keeps staring, and standing very still. I'm getting scared. "Lily? Lily?" I rush to her my heart pounding hard in my chest.

"Stand back!" She commands. "Close your eyes!"

I recoil my hands and wait. Lily leans towards the sink her eyes shut tight. She lets out a low growl and begins convulsing as though she is being electrified. Her head begins nodding violently and she screams "Oliver!" And I shut my eyes. There is a noise like a bed sheet being snapped but much louder.

I open my eyes and the mirror has a long crack running down the middle. Our bathroom is a disaster. Towels, clothes from the laundry basket all scattered around the small white bathroom. I take a step back to afraid to touch anything, to move anything. I run to Bee. She is sitting up in her bed crying.

"Daddy?" She squeaks softly. I walk over and put her head to my chest. She wraps her tiny hands around me and sniffs into my gray t-shirt. What can we do? What can we do other then wait, worry, and fear?

"You're bleeding." Bee tells me when she pulls back. She runs a finger across my cheek. I get up and go to the half bathroom that is down the hall from my daughter's room. I flick the lights on and look at my face. And sure enough there is a trail of blood and long scratch where a piece of glass must have gotten too.

I hear an exceptionally loud crash in the kitchen. "Stay in bed!" I yell to Bee as I run to where I heard the loud noise. I brace myself for whatever I could find. I see the blood before I find her. I see the glass all over the floor from our cups and dishes.

"Lily?" I whisper. There is a short soft whimper. I peer from around the table. She is lying on the cold tile. Lily is curled up in a tight ball. Her arms are wrapped around her legs which are pulled up to her chest.

She is caked in blood. It's dried and crushed over her pale skin. I feel like throwing up but instead I get on the floor and lean forward to her. I hold out my hand to touch her but I'm scared that I might hurt her more. "Lily? Lily can you move? Can you hear me?" My mind is frazzled and I can't quite get it together.

"Oliver?" She answers weakly. I stand up and grab the phone. I press nine and then she speaks up. "Don't! Don't call the hospital." Her voice is low and scratchy. She rolls over and I see the damage. Lily has been beaten. I run to the living room and grab a blanket and drape it over her carefully.

"Do you want me to get you to the bed? Couch? What? You tell me and I'll do it!" I say quickly. Lily shakes her head. "Just shut- up." She seethes while squeezing her eyes shut and putting her hand over her face.

I close my mouth and wait. Lily slowly gets up she wobbles I catch her. I carry her to the couch and lay her down. Next I walk back to the kitchen and grab a dishrag and soak it with warm water. The living room is dark but I can see her pale body from the dim kitchen lights.

I press the cloth over her wounds and wipe the blood away. "Can I talk now?" I ask her still cleaning her up. "Sure." Lily sighs tiredly.

"Where did you go?"

"First, December 16, 1992 and then March 13, 2016." Lily answers me dryly. "And why are you bleeding?" I say cringing.

Lily shrugs. "I woke up in an alleyway naked and there was two men who-" I feel her shudder under the blanket. I kiss her forehead. "You're home now, it's over." I bring out the alcohol and bandages.

"Mommy?" I see Bee standing from behind the couch staring at us with sad eyes.

"Come here Bumble Bee." Lily smiles weakly with open arms. Beatrix climbs onto the couch and over to Lily. She flings her arms around her mother and cries in her neck.

(November 18, 2033 Lily and Oliver: 42)

LILY: What a dreadful day. The sky is cloudy and overcast. Oliver and I took Bee to school today. He and I went shopping at the small grocery store afterwards. We bought a bushel of apples and ate them while setting up the store.

The blue prints for the upstairs of the music shop are finally finished. Oliver has it all planned out. He wants it to a lounge where people can read and listen to their music. I think its great idea and encourage him to pursue it.

It's later in the afternoon now. Around six o'clock. My usual chair in Cindy's office seems even more uncomfortable then it did last time. And what is worse is that Cindy isn't looking at me. She has a very gloomy air about her and I know something positively horrible is coming.

"Lily I…." She pauses and closes my folder, the folder we have gone through again and again. The folder that we have revert back to time and time again. And she's closing it and putting it off to the side.

"Lily I'm very sorry." I wait I knew this was coming and part of me thinks I've always known. "I can't do it. There's nothing more I can do. I've disappoint you and I can't express how deeply and incredibly upset I' am over this. But there is nothing."

It surprises me, I'm not mad at her. I'm not mad at the world or god or whatever I'm just numb. A very small fraction of my heart and mind had high hopes. I kept thinking, maybe, _maybe_… But now, sitting here in my old sneakers, jeans, and green sweater I'm tired. I'm done. We gave it our best shot. I get up with Cindy and shake her hand. I tell her that she is amazing and I'm not sorry I ever met her.

I walk home. I don't take my usual bus home. I walk slowly and ponder many things. I contemplate my life. I think about Beatrix, she is my one and only pride and joy. And she is perfect. I see her life rolled out like a red carpet.

So many wonderful things will happen in her lifetime. I picture her in my mind. Now, as a child, then a teenager, and finally as a grown woman. She is beautiful and everything I wanted her to be and so much more.

And then my thoughts come to Oliver. Oh Oliver, my best friend, my lover. He is my foundation, my rock. I love him more then I ever imagined possibly. Can one human being, one soul trapped in a body really feel this much compassion towards another? Sometimes I feel like I might burst and little candy hearts will flow from my insides.

When I open the front door I hear Colin Hay's _I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You _playing loudly. I frown because I know it's Oliver's sad song. I walk slowly into our den. Oliver is seated in the big brown armchair. He's drinking a scotch and has his hand over his face.

"Quel est notre dilemme du bien-aimé de jour ?" I ask him with my soft voice that I use only for French.

"C'est le temps, le jour, l'heure même qui vous et je séparerai à jamais aimera la mer rouge seulement pas Dieu que se réunissons." He says to me with such remorse and deep sadness that I cannot speak. Instead I listen as Mr. Hay sings: "_I shook the hand of time and I knew…"_ Knew what? Knew what?

I sit on the arm of the chair and look out the window with Oliver. I hear Bee in her room laughing as she plays with her dolls. I hear the dishwasher running. I put my arm around Oliver and I play with the ends of his hair. It is getting gray now. Two streaks running along just above his ears.

I realize that we are older now. I' am not sixteen anymore and it burns a whole in my heart. What will become of my Oliver I do not know. I just hope he puts the broken pieces of his scattered heart back together. I just hope he stays so tender and true because that is how he is for me. Gentle and boyish with his funny smile and kind eyes.

His eyes are my security blanket, my home. I never ever want them to loose their spark.

"Come on." Oliver says getting up and turning off the music. "No use sulking. I'll make diner and we'll laugh about the good old days." He takes my hand and leads me to the kitchen. Just as he is about to turn away and preheat the oven I kiss him.

He moves so that he is right in front of me and I press myself further against him. I want to melt into him and make us one full person so that I can never leave. I smile against his lips and pull away but only a little. I can still feel his breathe hot on my face. "We need to make our own time." I tell him. He laughs and I know that no other sound could be as sweet as this.

…..

I'm very sorry that this is so short. But I do have a life and I'm going out for the evening so I'll update when I can. By the way Colin Hay is really cool so you guys should check him out.

Leave your thoughts…

Lazy Days


	19. Fast and Slow

**Author's Note: **

_CraftyNotePad_: You do know that you're killing me, right? And those chains are pretty damn tight. I suppose I really don't have a life because when I'm not writing this story I'm thinking about it non-stop. Talk about pathetic. Now here's the thing: Lily is already dead. She can't change it. It is inevitable, but that doesn't mean I can't play with the idea. There's always room to mix things up. Of course Beatrix is going to have a bigger role (I think this is the seventh time I've changed my outline for this story). She will come in handy but can she save her mother? Can she beat time and death, the thieves that snatch away her mom?! … I can't tell it's a mystery, even to me.

_Lilerin91_: To be honest I've changed my ending so many times I don't know what to choose anymore. But I'm happy to know you're pumped and ready for anything. Thanks.

_Summer1994_: Well I hope you have a wonderful day too! And really I don't intent on making people cry. Sorry about that. I'm looking forward to reading your 'depressing' story. I looked on your profile but didn't see it (It was probably there I'm just extremely slow). Give me the title when you post it. I'd love to read it.

_Spencer-Sweetie_: That's not weird at all to be happy and sad at the same time reading this. Because the present is so light and wonderful but the future seems dark and gray… or maybe not? Keep reading.

_200Hannahfan4ever002_: I'm happy to know you're enjoying this. Although I couldn't help but blush a little when you thought it was the best story you've read. Believe me, there are much better stories out there. But in any case I'm humbled and thankful.

_Simplypink_: Summer school sucks! I remember having to go once many moons ago. I'm very happy to hear I'm made your day better.

_Daisy617_: Doctor Brown is one of my favorite characters to write for, so cutting her off was difficult for me. I'm actually considering bringing her back. But anyway, I'm always happy to hear from you to know your still reading. Even though it's getting a little upsetting.

_Valx3_: Hey your back! Glad to see you've been caught up. And please I'm not that magnificent, although I don't mind being called that every once in a while. And no way was I going to kill off Lily in chapter 18! What are ya nuts? (Joking) I'm actually thinking of going back in time again to when they were teenagers. What do you think?

_JulX27XluvsXHM_: Sorry this chapter won't be very happy. But I'm going to be putting up a few more fluffy chapters just because I like writing them. And I'm pretty sure you guys don't mind reading them. Once again to you and everyone else, sorry about the crying. I didn't mean too. I'm happy to know you love reading this story, I love writing it.

_Simply Sarah_: Wow… fantastic comment. I love Colin Hay's _Overkill _too! I hope you enjoyed the one I recommended. Don't worry I've already read Wuthering Heights you've spoiled nothing. I actually ran off, after reading your comment, and re-read it. I would have never thought of that connection with the poem. It's fascinating because now I can't stop thinking about it. I also haven't seen any commercials for that TV program you spoke of. Interesting, I'll have to keep a look out for it. I'm also very thankful that you understand why Lily must die. Although I'm toying with other ideas now so who knows. Also I did make these kids a little out of character. Sorry but they don't go around reading Rilke like I do. But a few quirks in here are all the TV producers doing I just added on. I adored your comment and I hope you stop in again after this chapter.

_LovesNature_: It was a tad bit scary in the last chapter but for me it was so much fun to write. I had a blast while everyone else was crying. By the way I know this is completely off the subject and a little weird but… I love nature too! There, I had to get that out.

……..

(November 20, 2033 Lily/Oliver: 42 and Beatrix: 7)

LILY: There are many things that horrify parents. On the top of the list is waking up and walking into their bedroom to find them gone. My heart leapt out of my chest and I checked in all of Bee's usual places: In the closet, under the bed, behind the door. Little Bee finds it comical to scare her mommy by hiding.

She gets that from Oliver, I'm sure. But today there is no trace of her. I'm becoming very impatient. Oliver is making coffee and trying to get through the crossword puzzle. I'm sitting on the edge of my chair and tapping my foot.

"Please stop. You're making me tense." Oliver groans. I glare at him and he just sighs and pours himself a cup of joe.

I hear someone giggling and I jump up. "Beatrix!?" I shout. She comes out from the pantry naked and laughs. I shake my head and smile along with her.

"Where'd you go?" I ask suddenly very curious. "I saw you and daddy at the park." She says taking a seat.

"Really? When?" This is new, Oliver and I haven't been to the park lately.

"You were little." She tells me still smiling from ear to ear. "I was…" I can't believe it. "You went that far back! But how?" I'm bubbling with questions. Oliver stays quiet and I know something is bothering him. But I'm going to ignore it for the moment.

"I need to tell Doctor Brown that. I mean I can only go through my own timeline but Beatrix can go _anywhere_." I'm so envious. "Oliver? Babe say something."

He stands and pushes his seat back to the table and walks away. Ok, now I'm pissed. "Excuse us Bumble Bee." I smile at her. She nods and answers with, "You are excused." I give her a grin but as soon as I turn the hallway I frown and go running after Oliver.

"What the hell is your problem?"

Oliver doesn't look back at me his shoulders are hunched down and he begins pacing around our bedroom. "I'm upset because you are so flip floppy!"

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" I shoot back.

"It means one second you are against having Bee tested with Doctor Brown and the next you want to tell her things about our daughter." He snarls.

"I think she should know! I never ever said anything about Cindy coming near Bee with any kind of drugs or special shots." I yell my temper boiling.

"But it's the same thing! Doctor Brown will want to run tests, give her shots, take blood, and before we know it she'll end up like you!" Oliver's eyes are hard and very dark.

"What do you mean she'll end up like me?"

"Have you looked in the mirror lately Lily?! You're dead! This isn't you!" Oliver says sitting on the bed clearly exhausted.

The worst part is that he's right. I hate losing. I look like a cross between cancer thin and drug addict thin. I have noticed; it's my body for god's sake of course I know what I look like! Of course I see the bags under my eyes! I'm tired, I'm scared, I'm dying.

But Oliver is sensitive, no matter how many times he tires to be Mister Manly Man, he's not. He is a giver and a kind man who loves his family. I sit next to Oliver and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Is it alright if I changed my mind? I'm not saying that Cindy can poke Bee with needles and unauthorized drugs. All I'm saying is that I want to give Bee a safety net. I need to give her this. If we start setting up a file now then when she does turn eighteen Doctor Brown might have already found something for her. Think about it Oliver." I wait; he has his head in his hands and rocking back and fourth. And then, "Fine." He tells me standing up and walking out the door. "Fine."

When I get downstairs Bee is already dressed and flipping through the paper. Oliver is sipping his cold coffee and munching on a bagel. Just a usual morning.

OLIVER: Lily kills me sometimes. She keeps changing her mind about these things- rather important things. It's always after one of her travels that she gets a little lost and changing her way of thinking. I wonder who is in the future telling her all these things. I can't help but wonder if maybe it's me.

Lily is working in the back today. I can hear her music playing and her voice singing along with the ever annoying B52's. I've got front desk duty and it's boring. No one is coming in today. I tap my fingers on the wooden counter and stare out the large bay window at people passing by.

I'm still mad at Lily. I'm not in the mood to go back and see if we can fool around together like usual. I love that woman to death but we fight so much. We've always been stubborn. In school we would constantly be at each other's throats.

Everyday there's always a little tiff we go through. Who gets to pick the music that will play in the shop? Who's going to cook dinner? Who will put Bee to bed or pick her up from school? Again and again.

But make-up sex is how it always ends up. At night I'll rub her back and whisper an apologize. On rare occasions Lily will bow her head and look away from me and mutter a quick sorry and then we attack each other like animals.

I smile now and think of Lily. The way her hair is early in the morning. Her body in the middle of a high climax and the way she moans my name. I shudder at the thought and find myself humming along with the song _Love Shack_, damn B52's.

I walk briskly around the counter. Maybe Lily will be in a very good mood. As I open the back office door I see her crotched down on the floor. Not good, not good.

"Lily?" I'm frantic again. My insides twist up and become knotted together.

"This hurts like hell!" She gasps before she disappears. Her clothes fall in a pile and I bend down and pick them up. I sit at the wooden desk and turn off the radio. I fold her clothes slowly. I pause at her shirt and bring it to my nose and breathe in deeply.

"Strawberries…"

_Later._

"Where's mommy?"

"I don't know."

"When will she be back?"

"I don't _know_!"

Bee shrikes down in the kitchen chair and her eyes turn to ice. She is angry with me and as soon as the harsh words flew out of my mouth I instantly recreated them.

"Well fine! Be that way!" Beatrix yells back at me and stomps off. Just like Lily. I sigh loudly and try not to think. My head is already pounding. I need her to be here. I need her warmth. I need her love.

(October 23, 2034 Lily: 42/ Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

LILY: I hate disappearing as I'm listening to a great song. I even thought I heard Oliver walking in to apologize to me. That would have been nice because I was in the mood to push Oliver down on that table and straddle him.

But, instead I'm lying in Miley's living room. And James is staring at me with his mouth wide open. Yikes.

"Shut it James." I hear Rose sigh from behind me. She throws a blanket over me and I nod in thank-you.

"Where's your mom and dad?"

"Mom is in the kitchen and dad is at work." Rose informs me sitting down next to James who is staring intently at the TV. "Hey has anyone seen my coloring pencils?" Robert yells from the stairs.

"No!" James and Rose shout together. I get up and walk into the kitchen. Miley is stirring a cup of tea. "Hey." I wave at her.

"Oh hi Lily, you here to pick up Bee?" Miley says taking a long sip of her tea.

"Oh she's here!" I ask excitedly looking around. "Oh, you're traveling." Miley laughs. "Yes Bee is here she's upstairs drawing with Robert."

I smirk and take a seat. Miley grabs me a cup and pours me some of her herbal tea. It feels good running nice and hot down my throat. "How are things?" I ask leaning in my chair tying the blanket around me.

"Good. It's a little stressful you know with the new company. But being a music producer isn't all that bad and Jake just had a movie come out. So he's in a good mood."

I mull it over and turn my silver spoon around and around in the small red cup. I watch the brown water twist downward in a small spiral. "How am I?"

Miley seems a little uncomfortable with the question. "You are very distant. And you seem tense. It's so hard Lily. No one knows what's wrong, you won't tell us."

I nod and fold my hands in my lap carefully. "Would you really want to know Miley?" she shakes her head. "No, I wouldn't. But I'm scared for you."

"Don't be." I say waving her fear away. "Please just live your life Miley. I've already screwed up Oliver enough. How is he, by the way?"

Miley shrugs. "I wouldn't know he hardly talks to me. He's been spending every second with you. It's like he… _knows_." My fists curl up and I shake my head I look down then right at Miley. I stare into her worried and ever caring eyes.

"Miley?"

"Yes?"

"I love you." After I make this statement she seems a little thrown off but happy. "I love you too, Lily." She smiles. And as her lips curl up and her white teeth show I know that she will be fine. I hear Beatrix running down the stairs laughing with Robert.

"Mom!" She squeals running to me. "Where are you from?"

"November 20, 2033." I answer quickly to her and she nods. "So what are you and Robert up to?" She smiles widely and Robert blushes. "We are making a novel." She answers.

"Wonderful! Make a million I want to read them all!" I exclaim and kiss her cheek. I hug her and watch her run off with Rob.

"Those two and inseparable." Miley smiles. "Robert really enjoys Beatrix's company. It's nice to seem him break out of his shell every once in a while. I really don't know where he inherited the shyness."

I just keep smirking. "What?" Miley asks noticing me. I shrug. "You want to know?" I know after I say this she understands that it is a future type question and answer. She bites her lip. "Is it good?"

"Very." I reassure her. Miley nods. "Tell all oh wise women."

"Robert and Beatrix."

"Yeah…?" Miley answers not understanding.

"How do you feel about that?" I say and I can't help but let out a large grin as Miley bounces in her seat. "Oh yes!" She cheers. "Yes!"

The phone rings and Miley leans over in her seat and grabs the white phone sitting next to us. "Hello?" She says happily. "What? Oliver! Oliver slow down! She what?" Miley hangs up the phone and frowns at me sadly.

"What have I done now?" I sigh.

"I really and honest don't know Oliver jut told me to get to the hospital as fast as I can. Lily you come too!" Miley runs to the living and shouts, "James you're in charge! Rose take care of Robert and Bee! You guys know the drill!"

I see Bee running to me and I hug her closely. "No worries darling. I'll see you soon." I tell her softly before sprinting after Miley.

She is driving when it hits me. I don't want to know. "Miley drive faster!" I shout.

"What? Lily I have to go the speed limit."

"Miley I don't want to know what happens to me. Please I have this thing about cars and it is a guarantee that I will vanish now drive faster!"

Miley presses down harder on the gas and I look over. She's going 50 on a 40 miles per hour street. I look out the window at the trees flying by. All colors mix together and soon I'm becoming dizzy. I reach out for nothing as I feel my stomach curl up. My head pounds and I scream. And then I'm gone.

(November 20, 2033 Lily/Oliver: 42 and Beatrix: 7)

OLIVER: I'm lying in bed at two in the morning when I hear her creep into the bedroom. "Lily?" My voice is hollow and lonely.

"Oliver." She breathes and crawls in next to me. I run my hand down her back and pull her to me. I kiss her mouth fully and desperately. She returns my want with her own desire. She pulls me on top of her and I crash our bodies together. We are kissing and she lifts up my shirt.

I run my hands down her sides and unbutton her jeans. Her fingers are icy but they feel heavenly mixed with the warm blankets. I smell her hair and kiss her eyelashes. I hear tears pour from her eyes and I kiss each one away. "No sadness here. No bitter thoughts of ending wars. Just stay here and let us share our love." I whisper to her.

"What was that?" She asks.

"Just something I made up." I chuckle and she giggles. I lean into her and she digs her nails in my back.

"An Oliver Oken originally." She exhales as I pull out. We make love quietly long into the early morning and I let myself become lost as she moans my name softly in my ear.

….

**Author's Note: **Holy crap that took forever to write! I really had no idea how to set things up for what is to come. I have a new idea and I'm sticking with it. I know now how I will end this. But hopefully that won't come till much later. Leave your thoughts. I'll try and update as soon as possible. But right now I'm going to take a nap, I'm beat.


	20. Held

**Author's Note: **sighs loudly and rubs temples Every time I read a comment by _CraftyNotePad _or _Simply Sarah_ I suddenly have a change of mind. You guys are seriously killing me! I love your comments (as I do everyone else's) but I mean really, cut me some slack. I feel like I'm playing tug of war. Also you guys don't know what is to come. I have (fairly reasonable) explanations. And of course another traumatic event.

_CraftyNotePad: _AHHH!!!... Ok I adore all of your comments and you've been such a dear. But I would never ever end with Lily's death. Please you insult my writing abilities. Also, stop being so damn smart! Ok, I lied never stop being an intelligent individual but still it's like I can never get away with anything without you noticing. Which I love and hate (but love a little bit more.) Anyway, I always get a little giddy when I see you've made another intriguing observation. P.S: Still enjoying everything you say.

_Simply Sarah: _I love Kurt Vonnegut! I have (almost) all of his books. So when I saw that quote I just burst out laughing because I've heard it many times before from a friend of mine. Also I adore Rachael Yamagata. And I have heard that song many of times. I write to music and I usually have one of her songs playing in the background. Don't worry, Lily will get her spark back, sooner or later. And thank-you for pointing out a few mistakes of mine. To be honest I'm a little embarrassed I should have double checked everything.

…….

(November 22, 2033 Lily/Oliver: 42 and Beatrix: 7)

LILY: I'm bobbing my head to my music. I've got my headphones on and I'm sweeping the hardwood floor in the dinning room. Bee is at a play date for the afternoon and Miley should be coming over soon.

She's decided that we need more girl time, I agreed because Oliver's been busy with work so I can't have any fun with him.

I'm in a pretty good mood considering everything else. I take my headphones off and run a hand over my sweaty forehead. I'm leisurely making my way around the house. I stop by the bookshelf.

My CD's are all stacked according to the genera. I skim over a few covers till I find Komeda. I take the disk out and place it in the stereo. I flip to my favorite song: _It's Alright Baby_. As the song begins I flout into the kitchen with a small smile and begin making myself some lunch.

I'm munching on some potato chips and looking outside when I see her. It's a so fast that I have to look back and blink a few times to understand what I'm seeing. Bee skits across the grass and lands right on her face.

I jump up leaving my food behind and open the back glass door. "Beatrix!" I shout waving at her. I take off my sweatshirt and throw it to her. I straighten out my small pink shirt underneath. It's a little wrinkled but no- "Oomph." I say as she flings her long arms around me _crying_?

"Mom! Mom! Mom!" She's sobbing and kissing my cheeks and forehead. "Oh God!" She cries. I pull away and look at her tear stained face.

"Bee? Bee what's wrong?" I'm worried. What the hell is going?

"I couldn't stop it. I c-couldn't bring you back." She grimaces and looks away from me. Beatrix lets go of me and collapses on the ground. She wipes her nose and hangs her head. I carefully sit next to her and sigh. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen." She whispers. I run my fingers through her mangled hair and notice the blood on her hands and under her fingernails. She lifts her head and looks at me with a sudden jolt. "Where is Doctor Brown?"

"At her office I suppose." I say rubbing the tears from her cheeks. "We should go there! Right now let's go!" She jumps up and grabs me by the arm. I grunt as she pulls me up, a little too fast.

"I need to talk to her!" Bee is frantic and has a mad look about her blue eyes. "I can reason with her! Give her information or, or something!"

"Bee stop!" I yell. I'm getting very frustrated.

"No! I won't I just saw you _die_… do you have any idea how horrible that was? My heart aches. I can't breathe. Mom, please, just please help me."

I'm about to try by best and comfort her when the question stirs inside of me. "Wait a minute. How could you have seen me die? Beatrix I die alone in an alleyway. You aren't there."

Bee looks at me strangely. "You die at home from the drugs Doctor Brown prescribed for you." I shake my head. "No, Cindy has already told me that there was no hope. She's cut me off."

"Wait so that means…" Bee stops and closes her eyes shut and begins muttering things under her breath. "Oh we need to see Doctor Brown right now!" She grabs me and we race to the door. "Stop!" I say. "You really need to put some pants on."

Beatrix looks down and blushes, she runs up the stairs and in a blink of an eye she is running back down with a pair of my jeans on. We catch a bus and run the rest of the way. Beatrix bangs on Cindy's office door.

Cindy opens with a surprised face. "Oh Lily! I'm glad you're here I have something to show you." We are ushered inside.

Doctor Brown fumbles through her bags and pulls out a small orange bottle. "No!" Bee shrieks slapping the bottle out of Cindy's hand. "That is the drug! The drug that kills you!" Beatrix informs me and Cindy.

"God! Let me guess your daughter?" Cindy frowns staring at me while holding her hand. I smile slightly and put an arm around my little girl. Beatrix is still crying I stop smiling and make her sit down.

"Tell me exactly what happens." I tell Bee staring at her ready and listening intently as she begins.

"The drug that Cindy was about to give you makes you better, at first. You stop traveling for a little while and everyone starts to think it's all over but then you have a really bad travel. It's like this weight that just crushes you. Dad and I find you lying on the living room floor bleeding and you just…" Bee puts her head in her hands.

I rub her back and whisper comforting words in her hair. Cindy is staring at us. "Ok kids time to tell me what the hell is going on!"

Bee breathes in and pulls herself together. I sit back in my seat and think. I try to comb through my thoughts.

"Wait Bee! How old were you? When you and Oliver find me?"

"I was traveling the me in that time was eight." She answers while taking a tissue that Cindy offered her. I stand up. "Paper, I need paper!" I shout frantically grabbing a pen from Cindy's desk.

Bee takes a piece from Cindy and hands it to me. I jot down a few dates. I was convinced I died on October 27, 1995. "Bee what was the date?" I say quickly drawing a long straight line across the paper.

Beatrix squints, deep in thought. "December 3, 2034." She replies after a moment. I write the two dates down and circle them and smile happily. "Do you know what this means!" I jump.

Cindy looks positively lost and Beatrix is giving me an odd look that clearly states:

_Are you crazy?_ "There's a time loop! This means, there are alternate universes out there! If there are two different ways I die there has to be a place where I survive!" I'm bubbling, I'm ecstatic.

"Is that even possible?" Bee asks. I frown at her. "Please you can time travel anything's possible. Clap if you believe in fairies!" I end sarcastically.

Cindy sits down and looks absolutely over whelmed. "You're implying that we just might be able to save you." She is smiling slightly.

"We need to question everyone. I need to know how old they have seen me. Dates, the whole nine yards. I'm not dying without a fight!"

Bee is looking relived and then poof. I just hope she is returning to a different time where her mother is alive and well.

OLIVER: Is it too late to create a medicine that makes you young again? You'd think with all that damn technology today we could do something as simply as that. I pull out my house key and sigh. Work sucked today. Lily and I haven't been talking like we use to.

Every time I try to make her talk to me she backs away like a scared deer. She hardly ever used to tell me about her travels and now she keeps them top secret. I know something bad is coming. I can feel it like a dark cloud looming over us. I just wish she would tell me so I don't have to assume.

"Oliver!"

That's strange. Lily looks happy. She comes running over to me and plants one right on me. I kiss back just because I've missed those lips and then she pulls back still smiling.

"Good day?" I ask a little nervous that at any second she could change.

"Very good."

I'm just burning with questions. What brought on this change? "Lily, may I ask what's happened?"

She takes my hand and glides into the kitchen where there is a large piece of paper spread across it. There are dates written every where and two are circled. I look at her and she just keeps grinning.

"This is my timeline." She smiles. "Every time I've traveled is right here even soon to be travels are here."

"So what's with the circled ones?" I ask taking a seat and sipping her water that sat on the edge of the table.

"Oh that, that's when I die."

I spit the water out on the floor. "What the hell?!" Lily just keeps scribbling things down and smiling like nothings wrong. "Lily…" Oh god she's finally cracked. My wife has gone insane.

"Oliver, I think I might have come up with a way to stop all of this. I think I found a way to stay. "

I'm speechless I reach for her hand across the table and squeeze it. I can't control the smile that makes its way around my lips. "Ok what do we do?"

"Well I've already called people with the help of Cindy and the oldest everyone has seen me is 43 and nothing passed October."

"So that means…"

"Either we fix this or…." Lily trails off. "Let's stay positive. Come on we're going down to the police station."

I grab both of our coats and the keys, Lily can explain once we're in the car. After I put the car in drive and we speed off Lily begins. "I need to check old police reports on the unsolved files. I've already called your mom and she told the guys down at the station that we're coming."

The car ride is mostly silent. I try to concentrate on the road but I'm too excited. True, I have no idea what we're doing but Lily is smiling. I park the car and Lily waits for me by the glass doors we walk in together.

"Lily Oken?" A tall skinny man with a mustache asks her. "Indeed." Lily smirks. We follow the man down a few hallways. It's very cold and Lily stays close to me as we walk down a small flight of stairs to the basement. I put my arm around her as she shivers.

"Sergeant Oken didn't tell me exactly what you are looking for so I set up all the unsolved files from the eighties and nineties."

"Thank-you Victor." Lily says politely. Victor leaves us in the dim basement and Lily quickly pulls out her sheet of paper. She pushes all the boxes dated from the eighties aside. "Can I help?" I ask her slowly.

"Sure! Try and find the box that has the files for 1995 in them." Lily tells me pulling out records and checking old newspapers. I dive in. It's a little funny because a few of these documents have my mother's handwriting on them.

I pull the lid off of a brown box and pull out a cream colored folder. Inside there are a few murder cases. I put it down the date is 1993, but I'm close. I bring another large box over to the table. I open it and pull out a few folders. This is it!

"Lily!" I shout waving her over. "I found the files for 1995 cases!" She is at my side quickly and picks up the folder dated 1995 October. She flips through it and bites her lip. I wait, holding my breath.

"It's not here!" She smiles. "It's not here!" Quickly Lily flips open her phone and calls someone. "Hello, Mrs. Oken? Yes it's Lily. Yes, everything was to our satisfaction but I had a question… No, no not that but did you ever have an unsolved case about a disappearing woman? Yes? No! No! Perfect… I understand no, you're no supposed to get it… No, I'm not crazy…Bye."

She hangs up and beams at me. I'm standing now and waiting but my patients are wavering. "I came here two years ago. And there was a large file about a woman who was killed on October 27, 1995 and suddenly disappeared before she could be identified. You're mother was the one who wrote up the file and it's not here anymore and your mother has no idea what I'm talking about!"

I'm completely lost. "Lily I really don't understand where you are going with this."

"Oliver! The woman was me! And now the file is gone! Which means it never happened it won't ever happen! And the drugs that seventeen year old Bee was talking about I won't ever take them! I won't die!"

The information begins to process slowly but I'm not convinced. Did we really beat it? Was it really that simple? "Lily… is it I mean it's over?"

She shrugs. "I don't know all I know is that I'm no going anywhere anytime soon." And suddenly I don't care because Lily, my Lily from years ago is standing before me. She is laughing and her pale face lights up with a brilliant glow.

(December 14, 2033 Lily/Oliver: 42 and Beatrix: 7)

LILY: Oliver and I are doing so well. We are laughing again and acting so silly. We took Bee to the park yesterday afternoon. She enjoyed the swings and I helped her pump her legs back and fourth.

The construction for the upstairs on the music shop should be coming to a close soon. Oliver and I are already fighting over which color to paint it. I'm dead set on an ocean blue but Oliver wants a pastel red.

Currently outside rain is pouring hard and fast. Oliver is out picking up Bee from school and I just finished going over the balance book for the shop. We are in great shape. I'm very proud of Ollie. As I close the folder I hear the front door burst open.

"Lily!" His voice is scared. My eyes widen and my body begins to twist up in itself. "What? What is it?!" I shout. "Where's Bee? Where is she?!"

Oliver hangs his head and let's the rain from his hair and jacket drop on the floor making small puddles. "She's gone…"

Gone where? Gone where?! My baby oh my baby! There is always a short panic attack when I know she's left. Questions spew from the depths of my mind. Is she hurt? Scared? Lonely? Part of me always hopes and prays she is with Oliver in some time or maybe even me.

I pace around the house. Oliver looks at the floor and does not speak. I glance at him and he is just as worried as me. I cannot do this alone. I cannot shut him out. I grab his hand; he is surprised at first but then embraces me.

He is wet and smells of mud but as I stand on my tip toes I can detect the faintest scent of his soap on his skin. We pull away and Oliver sniffs it's not till this very moment that I realize he is cold as ice and is shaking. I shed his flimsy jacket and find the wool blanket on the couch and wrap it around him.

He sits on the couch and sneezes. I begin making hot chocolate. I'm happy to have something to do, something to keep my hands and mind busy. As I'm filling the mugs with water I look outside and a small girl is in the grass crying, she's naked.

"Oliver!" I shout, he snaps his head up, scared, at the sudden sound. I rush outside not giving a damn about shoes or a jacket. I run to Bee.

She is sitting on the front lawn whimpering and looking lost. "Beatrix!" I shout. I get to her and wrap my whole body around her. I want to cover her from the rain and every terrible thing out in the world.

"M-My cheek h-hurts." She sobs in my side. I pull away, but still holding her tightly by the shoulders. I see a dark bruise forming on her left cheek and I cringe. Oliver runs out and stands next to me.

He is holding an umbrella over us. I pick Bee up and carry her inside. Oliver puts his free arm around my waist. Once inside, I lay my little girl on the couch and Oliver wraps her up in his blanket. "I'll get her some clothes." He says quietly.

I sit down and curl up with her. "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask softly as I stroke her damp curls. She shakes her head and burrows deeper into my side. "Ok then… we don't have to talk at all… just rest."

After I make sure she is asleep I slowly pry myself from her tight grasp and walk into the kitchen to find Oliver sitting and staring outside at the evening sky and falling rain. "A penny for your thoughts?"

Oliver shrugs and looks up at me. I run my hand over his over his chin and across the tiny scare on his cheek. He needs to shave. But for an odd reason I like his small beard.

"I need to shave." He says letting me sit in his lap.

"Don't, I kind of like it. It gives you a very wise literature professor look. Besides I think that's what's in these days."

"Oh well if it's 'in'." Oliver chuckles quietly. I love his laugh. I kiss him and he slowly circles his arms around me. I feel someone tap me gently on the shoulder. I stop kissing Oliver and look down to find Bee standing in her night gown looking upset.

"Can I talk about it now?"

I get up off Oliver's lap and usher Beatrix to a seat between me and Oliver. She folds her hands in her lap. I wait willing and preparing myself. Oliver pulls her to him and she snuggles into his chest.

"I'm not sure where I was." She starts. "Once second I was waiting for daddy and the next I was laying on concert and I hit my cheek hard." She says rubbing the bruise. I take her hand and give it a soft squeeze.

"Can I ask you something baby?" She nods at me and sniffs loudly, rubbing her nose on the sleeve of her night gown. "I thought you could choose where you wanted to go."

Bee looks at her feet. "Not always, this time it came so fast I couldn't even think of a place… mommy it was so scary."

I feel my chest tighten. "I know Bee I know." She leans forward and I hug her closely. "But we'll get through it together, okay?" I feel her nod against my shoulder. I look up at Oliver and he has the same fear running wild through his eyes as me.

(December 16, 2033 Oliver/Lily: 42 and Beatrix: 7)

LILY: I'm cutting up carrots for the salad that Oliver was supposed to be making for dinner. But today, while hunting and pecking through the bookstore he found a copy of _Wuthering Heights_.

Now of course we already own a copy but it's mine. And it has all of my favorite lines marked and underlined not to mention notes written along side the pages. Oliver hates it when I do that. He has told me time and time again that books should be treasured and not written in.

I agree to disagree. So Oliver has spent a good two hours locked in his study reading. I've tried my best not to disturb him. But I need music while I cook. So my Charlie Parker, Greatest Hits, CD is quietly humming in the background.

The only problem now is I have lines from the novel running through my head. I stop cutting and look out the window at the drizzling rain and recite absentminded: _"__And I pray one __prayer__--I repeat it till my tongue stiffens--Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living! You said I killed you--haunt me, then!...Be with me always--take any form--drive me mad! Only __do__ not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!"_

"Ah you are well versed young grasshopper." I hear Oliver say from behind me and if I know him well enough he is smirking.

"Now let me try." He says wrapping his arms around my waist. _"He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he could not breathe in mine..."_

I laugh and roll my head back. "You finish it?"

"Yes and now I'm dreadfully depressed." Oliver pouts pulling away from me and leaning against the counter. "Poor baby." I tease walking closer to him. I stand up on my tip toes and kiss him. He slouches down so I can stand normally.

He is kissing me differently today. His hand rides up the back of my shirt and I can tell he is simply itching to get it off but Bee could walk in at any moment. I hear the oven beep, the roast beef is finished. But neither of us moves.

I tug at his shirt collar and pull back. I need to stop or I'll end up throwing him on the kitchen table and taking advantage of this rare minute alone. I ruffle his hair and walk around to take out the roast beef.

I hear Oliver chuckle, I can hear him twisting up the newspaper and as I'm bending over to take out the beef I feel a slap on my behind. I snap up and find Oliver holding the rolled up paper in his hands and trying his best not to laugh.

"Oliver Oken you pervert!" I shout but smiling.

"Well what can I say, you're a very cute girl Lily." He smiles showing off his white teeth. I sigh and walk over and pinch his cheek. "Later tonight you'll defiantly pay for that."

"Counting on it." He says while setting the table. Everything is going smoothly. I'm beginning to feel perfectly relaxed…

"Mommy!"

I feel as though someone has just punched me in the gut. Her screams are ear piercing. I run to Bee's room. She is sitting on her bed looking terrified. "Mommy! Stop it! Stop it!"

"Stop what? I don't understand Bee!" I rush to her frantically.

"I don't want to leave! Mommy I don't want to go!" She cries. I grab her and hold her against me.

"You won't! Stay with me Bee. Think about something else think about the park we went to last week!"

Oliver is running up the stairs I hear his feet. I see him just as Bee vanishes and I'm holding nothing but air. I can't help it, I start to cry. It's not far how fast Beatrix's time travels are going. I never experienced anything as horrible as she did till I was fourteen! Oliver sits on the edge of the bed and rubs my back. I hate myself for giving this to her. I hate myself…

(July 7, 2047 Lily: 14 and Oliver: 56)

LILY: I was brushing my teeth when it happened this time. I was getting ready to meet Oliver and Miley and I was excited and nervous. And then I disappeared. I taste blood. The cement is very hot on my skin and it burns.

I get up and realize that the blood is my own. I wipe it from my mouth and hold onto my jaw it hurts _so _badly. My eyes try and adjust to the bright sun. I'm in the middle of the street. There are cars beeping and people staring.

I feel very self conscious and try my best to cover up. My cheeks burn with embarrassment and I run off. I don't notice until I taste it that I'm crying. Hot salty tears pour down from my eyes onto my cheeks and to my chapped lips. Tears and blood mix together and I spit it out on the cement.

It tastes like metal.

It tastes like iron.

I try to recognize my surroundings but things are so different. I'm in the future of that I'm sure of. I'm completely lost. I can't find clothes. And people are still staring. I can't get away. I find an alley and run behind a trashcan and lean against the cool brick wall.

My heart is beating so hard I'm sure it might just burst from my chest at any moment. I try to calm myself down. My feet are dirty and I feel disgusting. My armpits are wet with sweat and I want clothes.

This is the first time this has happened. I'm all alone. No one is here to help me. I'm alone, alone… I feel my face scrunch up as I cry a little harder. I hear the distant sounds of a busy street; cars zooming by and people walking, walking every which way. So many different people yet none of them are the ones I want and need.

I pull my legs to my chest and place my head gently on my knees. Time take me back! Time let me go! I try to calm myself down. I need to get clothes and find somewhere to stay. It looks like I'm not leaving any time soon.

There is a worn out green door on the wall opposite of me. I quickly stand and walk forward. Maybe there will be something. I hold out my hand and cup the doorknob and pray. Please be open. I twist the knob and it stops, locked.

I pull back and look back at the trashcan. I reach over the top and find a few newspapers. I try to fold one of them around me, hopeless. I throw it on the ground. The green door begins to open I freeze. A husky old man walks out and stretches. He scratches his neck and grumbles.

I stand very still. I try not to breathe, blink, or think. I' am a statue, apart of the alleyway scenery.

"Eh you? Girly what are you doing?"

Shit! Double shit!

"Hello I'm talking to you…. Why are you naked? What is this some kind of dare someone put you up to?"

My mouth won't open. I'm scared. I'm scared and I want to go home. I close my eyes. I'm Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. I have on my ruby slippers. Click you're heels three times. Home. Home. Home.

"Listen kid, you need to get the hell off my property or I'm calling the cops!"

"Can I have something to wear?" I squeak. The old man looks at me strangely. I don't like the way his eyes trail up and down my body. I feel sick.

"Sure girly come inside and I'll get you something."

I shake my head. "I'll wait here." He frowns and walks back inside. I wait for a moment still covering myself as best as I can. When he comes back out I hold my hand out expecting him to just throw the jacket to me. But instead he walks over to me and smiles a yellow tooth grin.

He stops right in front of me. "Come and get it." He sneers. I shiver. Against my better judgment I reach for the jacket. My hands look so little and frail compared to his rough sunburned hands.

"Please…" I whimper. He sighs and tosses it to me. I catch it and quick as lightening I'm wrapped in it. He looks at me again and shrugs and then walks off. I let out a heavy sigh of relief.

It's nightfall and I'm getting nervous. I'm still in the dirty alley. I've been too frightened to go out and search for some where to stay. The jacket is nice when cool air hits me. I sit alone and wait. I hate waiting. I hate-

(July 7, 2005 Lily and Oliver: 14)

OLIVER: I wonder where Lily is. Miley and I didn't see her and she didn't show up for the movie. I tried calling her house but no one answered. And when I went over to her house her parents simply said she was out for the day. What dose that mean?

I'm getting worried. This has been happening a lot lately and Lily won't tell me anything. She usually blows it off with a laugh and says she's been at the skate park or had a dentist appointment. Well I'm not buying that! She's my best friend! She should trust me enough to let me in.

I walk out of my room to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. As I'm pulling my shirt over my head I hear someone. I run back to my room and Lily is sitting on my floor wearing one of my T-shirts… crying…

Panic rushes through my veins. I have never seen Lily cry before! I close the door and she looks up at me with her pretty blue eyes and shudders.

"Lily?" I question.

"Oliver, please can you just… just hold me?"

Her voice is below a whisper and my heat goes out to her. I walk over and get down on the floor next to her and awkwardly put my arms around her. She leans into my chest and I feel something that I've never felt around Lily. Compassion and… love? I don't know this is all so new.

She curls up close to me and my hold on her tightens. What happened today? All I know is that I'll kill the person who did this to her. I'll protect her and be around for her. I've been stupid in the past but I'm done now. Lily needs me.

…..

**Author's Note: **This chapter truly ran away with itself. To everyone else who I did not leave a personal comment to I'm very sorry. Next chapter I will stop and say hello to each of you. Until then I hope the read was fairly enjoyable and leave your thoughts if you'd like…


	21. Question Me

**Author's Note: **_CraftyNotepad _and _Simply Sarah_ I' am truly sorry! The reason for my little outburst was because your reviews are so convincing. (And this is the millionth time I've re-written my outline.) I love your reviews because you bring so much to the brainstorming table. So always pester me with ideas and 'what if' situations. No more tug of war. Ask questions. I'm just scared of disappointing my readers.

_CraftyNotepad: _Are those chains above your comment or are my eyes deceiving me? Oh yeah try the innocent look... I've always thought of Oliver as being that "nice guy" type. In the show he's comes across as any teenage boy but I think there's something deeper there. I mean his two best friends are girls. I'm so glad your really looking at Oliver's character with depth. And I loved what you said about him being her anchor (if only he could) that gave me this wonderful image of them together.

_Simply Sarah:_ I was hoping you would appreciate the _Wuthering Heights_ snippet. And my lips are sealed on your idea of it foreshadowing in the near future. And don't ever stop rambling! I love long rambles! Please proceed! I have missed the old Lily as well so here we will see her in a different time all together. Happy reading.

_Lilein91: _I'm happy to see you liked the younger Lily part. Because I've gone back in time for this chapter.

_Simplypink_: Man! I really am the worst speller! Thanks for pointing that out. I love hearing everyone's theories. Most of the time I get ideas from what all of you guys share with me. So don't keep anything to yourself. Who knows it might just be put in the next chapter. (And yes Lily is just upset with Beatrix's situation.)

_GoldnWlf:_ Well hello! A new face (or pen name)! Welcome to the universe of time traveling! I'm so pleased to see you are jumping in with your thoughts and feeling towards the story. And you'll just have to wait and see what happens. Thanks for reviewing.

_Summer1994: _No worries my sister thinks I'm pretty weird as well. I didn't think anyone would like that line because it seems a little sad. But I'm glad you caught the humor in it, which is what I was rooting for.

_Spencer-Sweetie: _Too true, Lily has had one rough life but her sense of humor and family and friends will help her through it, even when she pushes them away. You and _Summer1994_ both liked that line! Yeah!

Everyone: I'm a wimp. I'm saving all of my juicy stuff for later. I really want to keep this story going. Also praise Jesus for Modest Mouse and The Futureheads without them I couldn't have gotten through this chapter without pulling my hair out. And I've become very attached to my hair lately.

…..

(July 8, 2005 Lily and Oliver: 14)

LILY: Two things, one I'm totally and completely comfortable. Two, it smells so good here. I'm drunk with sleep and snuggle deeper into my pillows and blankets. There is something solid next to me. It's a nice feeling.

Oh I could just stay here wrapped up in dreamland forever. I sigh and turn over but the sun shines onto my eyelids and I open them and squint. My window isn't on the left side of the room.

My room isn't painted brown. I sit up quickly. I'm wearing Oliver's _The Doors_ T-shirt and tangled in his navy blue sheets. Oliver is lying on his side slightly curled and sleeping soundly. He is snoring softly.

I slept here last night! What are my parents going to think? What are Oliver's parents going to think? He's mom's a freaking cop! I try and untangle myself from the sheets and fall over hip first onto the floor.

"Ow…" I moan and stand up slowly. My mouth is dry and still tastes faintly of blood. I rub my jaw and look to Oliver. He mumbles something about strawberries and pulls the covers up to his chin and smiles.

He looks perfectly content. The sun gives a lazy glow about him. I don't want to leave. I'd like to just crawl back into his bed and… whoa! Hold the phone! This is Oliver, as in Oliver the giant donut.

The boy who mashes all of the food groups in one sandwich. The boy who still thinks Batman is the greatest cartoon out there. The boy who… held me all night long as I cried. Stop it Truscott! Get your head together! I can't let him in on my secret.

I stand up a little straighter and turn away from the sleeping boy. It's still very early in the morning. I creep down Oliver's stairs I try my best not to hit the areas where the floor creeks. I'm passing the kitchen and I stop dead in my tracks. Mrs. Oken has her back turned making coffee.

I feel like one of the characters in the movie _The Breakfast Club_. I pick up one leg and slide it across the wood floor. What would she think, finding me half naked sneaking out of her house at six in the morning? I mean sure when we were little Oliver and I used to stay at each other's houses but we're in high school now.

I get to the front door. I hear Mrs. Oken open her paper and seat herself at the table. I put my sweaty hand on the knob and turn it slowly. Easy now, easy. As the door opens a loud crack explodes from the bottom of the door. I stop.

"It's now or never." I whisper to myself hastily. I open the door as far as I need to just to slip right through to the other side. Once I get out onto the lawn I look up at Oliver's window. A new sensation has spread through me. Longing.

I walk home slowly. The sidewalk is cool on my warm bare feet. "Step on a crack break your mother's back." I say to myself as I over step a long crack in the sidewalk. My house is right next to Oliver's. I turn and walk through the grass and let the dew soak my feet.

I open my front door without much care. My dad is sitting in the kitchen drinking orange juice. He is wearing one of my favorite ties on him. A green tie with blue strips running down the sides. It's a little goofy and he only wears it to please me because I got it for him for his birthday.

"Hey pop!" I smile taking a seat across from him. He coughs in his glass and wipes the juice from his beard. "Lily? Where have you been?"

"To the future!" I exclaim with my index finger pointing up. He shakes his head at me. "Your mother has been worried sick. We were really scared when Marty found your toothbrush on the ground and clothes lying amiss."

I shrug my shoulders. "Nothing much I can do about it. But I'm cool now." My dad gets up and kisses me on the head and folds the paper placing it gently on the edge of the table.

As he is about to walk off and head off to work he stops in the doorway and turns to me. "Whose shirt is that?" I turn around and face him. "Well you it's just a shirt I found lying around and…" I've got nothing.

"It's Oliver's shirt isn't it?"

I nod. "How'd you know?" My dad smirks. "Come on who else do you know that listens to _The Doors_?"

My dad leaves and I sit for a minute. I haven't had a moment alone to really think. That travel was frightening. Mostly when I vanish out of thin air I visit myself a few days in the near future or days past. We'll hang out and lay around. But this time it was different. What would come next?

I sip my dad's orange juice and stare out the window… I need to brush my teeth.

_Later._

"Come one Lily! I want to hit the beach before it gets too crowded. I really hate tourists!" Miley whines dragging me along the sidewalk. She asked me where I was yesterday and I blew it off. I told her I fell asleep and lost track of time.

The best part was that actually happened to me once so my act was very believable. I haven't seen Oliver anywhere and I thank my lucky stars. I really don't want to have that awkward 'Why were you crying in my room wearing my T-shirt' conversation just yet. Better yet how about never.

Miley is sitting on one of the bar stools at 'Rico's' sipping a banana smoothie. I'm standing up being my own personal Oliver look out machine.

"Lily what are you doing?"

"Nothing." I smile nervously sitting next to her. She eyes me suspiciously and I sigh. "It's really not anything. I'm just being me, little crazy ol' me… Come on let's catch some waves."

I try to pull Miley up but she frowns. "When have you ever seen me surf? I can't do that, that's a you and Oliver thing remember?"

I feel like banging my head against the counter. I really need to get my thoughts straight.

OLIVER: I feel the heat of the sun on my face. As I open my eyes there's no one lying next to me. I'm not sure why but I half hoped she'd be here when I got up. My clock flashes ten and I turn over.

Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe Lily didn't let her guard down and show the soft sweet side of herself to me. But I know that it's a lie. I smell her Lily scent all over my pillows. Its so nice… I could get use to that.

I sit up quickly. Lily? I could get use to waking up to Lily? I shake my head and get up. I need to talk to her. Get my thoughts straightened out. And I need to know what was bothering her last night.

I take a slow shower. I check in the mirror afterwards for any chest hairs or hair growing on my chin. Nothing, oh one can try I suppose. I run downstairs and fight Olivia over a piece of toast and then I'm gone.

I decide on just walking to the beach. Skateboarding would be fun but I'm not in the mood to crash into things today. Lily's still teaching me, it's not going over too well. I kick a stray rock and begin the short walk to the beach.

I hear her before I see her she's laughing. I peer out from behind the large green bush. Jackson is juggling water bottles and failing miserable. For an odd reason something inside of me catches flame.

I don't like the fact that she's giving attention to Jackson. I want her to give her laughs to me… Man! There it is again! What is this? "Hey Oliver!" Miley waves at me. I walk over and try to control myself.

Lily shrinks in her seat and blushes as I sit next to her. Her smile fades and her eyes grow dim. Is this the kind of effect I have on her? "Hey guys…" I say dryly. Lily makes an unknowledgeable grunt in responds.

Miley darts her eyes from me to Lily. "What is going on?" She says placing her hands on her hips. Part of me wants to snap back with: 'I don't know ask Lily!' But that would put her on the spot and Lily cried to me. _Cried_. I just have to get her alone…

The three of us sit together in a roll, not talking. Miley is waiting for her answer. I'm looking at Lily and she is staring intently at her toenails, which are painted blue. "I gotta go." Lily says hastily. I let her run off with her skateboard.

"I'm going to get to the bottom of this." Miley says with a scowl. "She's been acting weird lately."

"No kidding." I agree along with Miley. "Well I better go. I promised my dad I would help him out this afternoon cleaning the rain gutters."

"Fun." Miley laughs sarcastically. I shrug and jog off in the direction Lily went. I can't find her at first. It's getting late and the tourists are heading home. There are crowds of people walking off, dragging their kids into cars, and folding up their towels.

I find Lily sitting on a bench playing with her skateboard wheels. Turning them 'round and 'round. I take a breath and walk over. Talking serious with Lily is like a whole new language. We are usually pretty good at making jokes and letting things pile up. We're so much alike it's a little scary.

"Hey Lily." I say with a wave. She doesn't look at me. I sit down ignoring the clear cut sign of: 'Go away!' I sit at the very edge of the bench and wait. She turns a wheel again and I make a popping noise with my lips.

She looks up from her long curtain of hair and glares daggers at me. Not good, so not good. I guess she's regretting the whole opening up thing. Sure, I'm a guy and I try to avoid touchy feely stuff but Lily is my best bud and if something is really bothering her, I want to know.

"Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?"

"No!" She says quickly still frowning but looking away from me. I sigh, this is going to be harder then I thought. I place my hand on her shoulder, she becomes very still and stiff. "I really care for you Lily. You are my _best _friend. And if something is truly bothering you, tell me. I can help."

"No you can't…" Her voice is so soft that I almost don't catch what she's saying. "Is it that bad?" I ask, very interested at this point. She nods.

I breathe in sharply. "Lily you're not being like… abused or hurt by someone? I mean no one has touched you or done something…?" I feel my hands ball up into fists if anyone has land one finger on her the wrong way I'll kill them.

She shrugs. Not helping. I take her face and make her look at me. "Listen Lily, you tell me right now! Is something seriously wrong?"

I wait, my hands still cupping her cheeks, I take a moment to notice how soft and flushed they are. She shakes her head. "Oliver I can't talk about it, but it's ok. It'll be ok. One day I'll tell you, just not now… you can let go of my face."

I drop my hands and blush. "So we cool?"

She punches my shoulder. "Always." I walk her home and make sure she gets inside safely. And it's right here and now that I will try everything I can to understand.

LILY: I'm a terrible person. I wanted to tell him! My whole body was aching to let him in! To share my dark secret. But I just couldn't I can't deal with that right now. Letting him know this might screw something up. Maybe my future is already planned out and I'm destined to live alone.

Because I'm always alone in this time or the next. Past, present, or future.

(July 9, 2008 Lily and Oliver: 17)

LILY: I inwardly cringe. This isn't good. The scene is set. Miley is sitting up in her bed staring at me wide eyed; probably thinking I'm some deranged pervert who was disguised as her best friend for the past seven years.

I'm not sure what time it is but the sun isn't shinning. There are only three stars in the sky, no moon he's hiding behind the big mean cloud. The room is dark but I know she knows I'm naked.

I pick up her white robe with the flower running down the middle. I slip it on and it's nice and warm. I was back in 1993 on December 14 in New York. It was a tad chilly. I try and find somewhere to sit. Miley still hasn't spoken and it really bothers me.

I try to think of anything I could say or do. But all that comes to mind is a children's poem my mother used to say to me early in the morning and late at night. But I can only remember bits and pieces. It was about a caterpillar. A brown furry caterpillar.

"Lily?"

Oh thank god, she spoke first. "Yeah?" I say playing with my wet hair, damn New York snow.

"Not that I'm always happy to see you but… why are you in my room at one in the morning?"

Great question, I'd like to know that too. "Well I was…" I was what? Walking around naked and thought: What the heck, why not visit Miley!

I swallow hard. Miley waits.

"You're not going to tell me are you? What is with you and keeping secrets? I feel like I don't know you anymore…" She trails off and gets out of her bed. She turns on the lights and the sudden light stings my eyes, I flinch.

"Oh my god!" Miley breathes out putting a hand to her mouth. Oh yea, she probably saw my black eye. To be honest I think I had it coming. I tired my hand at stealing a woman's purse, it didn't go so well. How was I supposed to know she took karate?

"Lily! What happened to you!?"

"I got socked." I reply simply taking a seat at her computer chair, I have a feeling I'm not getting out of telling her this time.

"Well that's plain to see but… but how? Why? When? Answer me Lily!"

"You want to know?" I ask casually and she nods fiercely. "I time travel. I was in New York not two seconds ago trying to take some women's purse. And she punched me right in the eye and I fell back and landed here in your room."

Miley's eyes look concerned, but not in the friendly way. She looks scared, like I'm completely mad; which is very much possible. Maybe I've dreamed all of this up… although I highly doubt it.

"Umm Lily?"

"Yes?"

"Are you um are you….?" She can't say it so I'll say it for her.

"Are you wondering if I'm crazy?" I ask her bluntly but she just keeps looking at me like I've grown an extra head. "Well new flash I'm not. Ask my parents they'll explain as much as they can. It happens spontaneously. There's never a warning except a tiny punch of pain and then I' am no more."

Miley licks her lips. "So this is real? You travel through time?"

"Pretty much."

"So this would explain all those times I found you hunting through the Hannah closet during a contest? Because you were naked? And all those times you never showed up for the movies or were late for school?"

I nod. "Pretty much… so are you like freaked out?"

"Well… "Miley says sitting down on the edge of her bed. "I guess this is payback for springing the Hannah thing on you."

"If you choose to look at it that way." I say carefully deciding on my words. "I prefer to think of it as a pain in the ass." Miley laughs and I know we will be fine.

"So how far have you gone into the future?"

"I've seen us at twenty. Well mainly just me I haven't seen Oliver or much of anyone else."

"Oh." Miley says clearly disappointed. "So I guess you wouldn't know if Jake and I… if we…"

"Just spit it out Miley!" I tell her grinning.

"I guess you wouldn't know if we're still together." She tells me shyly.

I smile because I have seen them, I once caught them making out on the couch of my future apartment. "Do you want to know?"

Miley takes a moment to think it over. "I don't know." She finally says. "I mean if we don't I'll just end up breaking up with him. But I really like him and I want to stay with him."

I shrug. "Then stay with him. Don't be bothered by what I say. Make your own future Miley, not the one I tell you."

She smiles up at me with a smirk. "When did you get so smart?"

"I guess it comes with the traveling. I feel like I've had to grow up faster then anyone else. I mean I've been stranded out in the middle of nowhere. Miley I've done so many horrible things. I've had to steal, cheat, and lie just to stay alive. I hate the fact that I had to tell you this. I really doubt you need this right now."

Miley shakes her head and takes my hands. "You are my best friend. I don't care what you've done. That doesn't make me love you any less. I'll help you."

I nod. "Thanks Miles."

"Any time… So are you going to tell Oliver?"

"Not yet. I just want to pretend to be normal for a little whole longer."

Miley nods with me and we smile at each other. I'm so lucky to have everyone siding with me.

"Let's get some sleep." Miley yawns. I stand up but my head starts to pound. I stand still and wait. "Lily? Lily what's wrong?"

"I've got to go."

"What?"

I can feel it coming. I shut my eyes and…

….

**Author's Note: **Leave your thoughts… (p.s. the futurehead's song _skip to the end_ is pretty spiffy.)


	22. Count Down

**Author's Note: **To be honest I didn't like that last chapter. But if you guys thought it was pretty good then I'll let it go. I'm not sure if I'll do any more chapters with them as teens because what's the point? I mean everything their confused on or struggling with you and I already know how it ends… but then again I did have this idea so who knows.

_Simply Sarah: _I seriously fell out of my chair when I saw your comment. And yes that was a very a good thing. I love rambling! And I completely understand your dilemma with Lily telling Miley first. But really, back when they were younger Lily would have told Miley first just because they're girlfriends. And I had it in my head that Miley told Lily first about her being Hannah so I just went with that. But don't worry Oliver will always be number one in Lily's world. I miss my Lily/Oliver moments too! It so weird to be writing and not have them touching or kissing. In one scene I forgot and had Oliver holding Lily around the waist. I'm glad I caught that other wise it would have been really weird for you readers.

Music I listened to: (Warning: I have very odd tastes in music) The Kooks- Eddie's Gun, Eisley- Telescope Eyes, and Jenny Owens Young- Drinking Song. These aren't in any kind of order so listen to them if you feel like it.

…...

(December 31, 2033 Lily/Oliver: 42 and Beatrix: 7)

LILY: Oliver and I are hitting the town! We are going gallivanting! Miley and Jake are hosting a huge New Year's party. I'm a little too excited. I haven't been out in such a long time. I'm getting all dolled up.

My dress is skin tight, much to Oliver's liking, and colored a deep blue. These days I've been back to my old habits. Experimenting with colors but, its New Year's so I have to put on my sophisticated face.

I'm applying the teeniest bit of dark red lipstick. I dab it on and pucker to the mirror, acting as if I would kiss it. I check my mascara next, good not blobby and smeared. I step back and turn around, I look ok I guess.

"Ooh you look great." Oliver winks at me. He is slouching against the doorframe. He looks beautiful with his black shirt and pants. His hair is a little shaggier and there's more gray sprinkled through out, but it makes him look dignified.

Oliver has never been a buff guy. He is cat-like and tall. I smile at him and bend over to pick up my shoes. I sit on the edge of the bed and slip them on. "You sure you want to put those on?" His voice is soft and wraps around me like velvet. Ooh, shivers.

"We can't. I've spent forever trying to zip this up and doing my make-up. We've got to have some kind of control Oliver." I get up and kiss his cheek lightly.

He sighs and looks down and follows me to the living room where Bee is jumping with pent up energy. "Can we go? Can we go?" She squeals running after us.

"Come put your jacket on." Oliver says in his father voice- stern but kindly. He holds it out and helps her into the arms.

I grab my purse and we head out. Oliver drives and I play with the radio trying to find something good. Beatrix fiddles with the buttons on her coat and sings silly songs about oranges.

We arrive and I ogle at all the cars. I always forget that Miley and Jake are so much more popular then me and Oliver. Music is just starting to play when we walk through the doors. Miley looks lovely in her red dress and Jake, as handsome as ever in his suit. Bee runs off with the Ryan kids and Oliver and I search for drinks.

"Aha! Look Lily alcohol!" Oliver cheers.

"Praise Jesus!" I laugh back. Oliver picks up two glasses of wine and we sip it through our teeth.

Oliver has his arm around my waist and when no one is looking I pinch his butt. He grins at me and kisses my neck. His lips are hot and wet. I'm chatting with some distant friend of Jake's. He's a director and is pitching me his new movie idea.

Why? I don't know. He grins charmingly at me and asks if I'd like to go somewhere more private. Oh, I get it now.

"Sorry buddy I'm taken." I'm about to flash my wedding ring at him when, silly me, I remember I don't wear it. Time traveling does have its flaws. Oliver has a wild look in his eyes. He comes sprinting over and takes my hand.

"Sorry what were you asking my _wife_?" He glares daggers at the short director, whose name I can't remember.

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't see the ring. I'm just going to go now." He says ducking his head and running off in the opposite direction.

"Whoa! Jealous much?" I tease him. Oliver rolls his eyes and kisses my cheek gently.

"Let's go find Bee." He says leading me through the crowd. We find her sitting in the living room with all the other little kids. Their watching some cartoon.

"Mom! Dad!" She waves us over. I sit next to her and pull her to me and kiss her forehead.

"How's your evening going?" Oliver asks her. She smiles. "Very good! I got tons of candy from the kitchen!"

"Not a lot. I don't want you getting sick. If you feel weird at all come and get me or daddy, ok? We're going to be in the dinning room with all the boring adults." I tell her. She nods and answers sweetly with, "Yes mommy."

Oliver blows her a kiss as we walk off to the dinning room she pretends to catch it and giggles.

"Oh there y'all are!" Miley smiles her arm linked with Jake's. "Where have you been?"

Oliver and I grin. "The bar." I reply.

Miley frowns and shakes her head. "You're supposed to be acting like adults better yet parents."

Oliver rolls his eyes. "Well that's going to be my New Year's resolution: act my age." We high five and laugh. "Come is this a party or what? Where is the music? The crazy dancers?" I ask looking around.

Jake stands up a little straighter. "This." He begins in a phooey British accent. "Is a high class party. No wild music." Oliver and I look to each other and smirk.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" I ask Oliver nudging his side. He nods; we clap our hands together and let out a loud: _"Whoop!"_ And begin singing The Kook's _Eddie's Gun_.

"How do they do that?" Miley asks over our singing. Jake runs to the stereo and puts in the actual CD and tada, it's a dance party.

OLIVER: I grab Lily's hand and twirl her around. She laughs and shakes her hips I try attempting the robot and fail miserably. Lily gets a kick out of it and kisses me and tells me she thought it was cute…

Lily and I are lounging on the couch. She is fanning her face and Bee is sitting and laughing with Robert as he shows her a picture that I can only assume he drew. I'm playing with Lily's frizzy blond curls.

"Look mom!" Bee shouts running to us. She is holding the picture tightly with her small hands. "Look what Robbie gave me!" She holds it out to us. It's a water color painting with bright yellow lilies and buzzing bees.

I'm seriously blown away by his talent. "That's amazing Robert!" Lily tells him ruffling his hair. The boy blushes and shrugs muttering a thank-you.

We hear Miley squeal with delight. Both Lily and I shoot up from our seats. "Is that…?" Lily trails off. "No it can't be!" I smile.

"Jackson!" Miley laughs as he picks her up in a giant bear hug. We race over to him. Jackson shakes my hand and hugs Lily close.

"So how's Hawaii?" Lily asks him. As they pull apart. Jackson grins. "It's great oh and thanks for inviting me."

Lily looks confused as do the rest of us. "What are you talking about?"

"You invited me." Jackson says his brow knitting together. Lily smacks her forehead and smiles. "I probably will invite you. I haven't yet, I was traveling right?" Jackson nods.

"Well come Jackson! Your nieces and nephews have missed you." Miley drags Jackson off by his ear to play with the kids. I stand very still next to Lily. After everyone leaves she looks up at me with sad eyes.

"I'm going to time travel." She states out loud more to herself then me. "I thought we were done." I do the only thing I can think of, I kiss her. I don't want to think about it, I don't want to worry about it. I just want to enjoy this.

After I pull back I look at her. I can see the questions and thoughts running raged through her eyes. She is getting tense again. I feel her changing right before me. "Come on, let's dance." I pull her closer and we sway to the soft music playing.

She puts her head on my shoulders and her hands go around my neck. "Oliver?"

"Hum?"

"I won't let it happen." Her voice is firm.

"How?" Is my measly reply. She takes my hand and leads me to the bathroom she closes the door. The party voices are muffled. I don't want to do this here. But Lily has her mind set on it. The lights are off and I feel her hands underneath my dress shirt. She is cold, I hadn't noticed before.

"Lily… I don't… no." I push her away; it takes everything in me to do so. I flip the lights on and turn back to her. She isn't looking at me. "Sit with me then." Is her answer.

"Where?"

"Here."

She walks over and steps into the bathtub and gets comfortable. I follow her and lay down next to her. I put my arm up and she curls to my side and I put my arm around her. She is small and cold I hold her tighter.

She kisses my neck. Her lips are warm. I let her explore, I need to be strong and stick with what I said before: no. But I want to taste her… Screw being the good guy. I bend down and capture her lips.

Perfect, perfect she is always perfect. The taste is so good I want to kill myself. Lily makes the kiss a little more heated. I have my hand on her breast and she unbuttons my shirt. I don't care anymore. Kay sera, Kay sera what every will be, will be…

I gently turn her over so that I'm on top. The bathtub is a little cool and I wonder if she'll mind? But the thought is thrown out when Lily unzips my pants. Why do we wear clothes again?

I push her dress up and pull her underwear down. She is satisfied with this, now she won't have to have her bare back on the cold tub floor. Just before I enter her I pull the curtain around the tub and it becomes dim.

We kiss and I forget everything. Lily is digging her nails in my back. She throws her head back and bites her lip from letting out a cry. I nuzzle the middle of her neck. I breathe out her name again and again.

When we finally reach a climax it is so intense and powerful that my head starts pounding. Somewhere in the background of our moans and sighs of pleasure I hear someone begin to count down.

_Five… four… three… two… one! Happy New Year!_

Everyone is shouting and kissing, I assume. Lily pulls away from me and whispers, "Good way to start?"

"Yes."

And then she's gone I fall down onto the cold tub floor. I wait a minute or two before zipping up my pants and splashing icy water in my face. I open the bathroom door and head back to the party.

People are laughing and toasting. Miley and Jake are kissing and smiling, looking deeply into each other's eyes. I find Bee and the rest of the kids sleeping on the couch. On the TV screen it shows the big blow out party in New York.

I turn off the TV and pick Bee up. She rubs her eyes and looks up at me. "Where's mom?"

"Gone, but she'll be back."

"When?"

"Soon, hopefully very soon."

Beatrix seems content with my answer and falls back asleep her head propped against my chest. When I get back to the main room most of the party guests are calling it a night. Miley and Jake wave to everyone.

I see Jackson talking with Rose and I look around for Lily. Maybe she'll be somewhere trying to slide into her jacket unnoticed.

"Sorry, she's not here." Miley says sadly. I nod slowly and grip Beatrix a little tighter.

"I think we'll head home. If you see her, tell her to hurry home."

"Will do, and Oliver? She'll be fine. Lily is strong." Miley informs me with a pat on the back. Lily is strong. I just hope when she returns she's still the Lily I know. Not some locked up hollow hole of a person.

I want my yellow sunshine. My little flower girl.

The drive home is silent. The house is dark. I put Bee to bed and turn on her night light and kiss her head. I leave the kitchen light on for Lily and then I head to bed. No use staying up alone and worrying.

(December 26, 2033 Lily and Oliver: 42)

LILY: Jackson is sleeping on his porch on a wooden chair. The sun is bright and the sky is cloudless and perfect. I hear and see the waves crashing onto the sandy shore. Jackson looks peaceful.

I creep past him and find some shorts and a funky flowered shirt that matches the one he's wearing. I sit on the porch steps and wait. I miss Oliver. The sex was so good. My toes even curled and my legs went numb.

"Lily?" Jackson says in between a yawn.

"What's up?" I wave turning to watch him sit up and take off his sunglasses. "So I guess business is good with you lying around."

"Defiantly, opening a surfing shop was probably the smartest thing to do… besides marrying Alice, of course."

"Ooh that reminds me how's that kid of yours? Still a little punk?" I add playfully.

Jackson let's out an easy laugh. "Well of course! He's my son isn't he? Andrew might look like his mom but he's personalities all me… How is everyone?"

"Their good…" Lame answer, I suck.

"Ok let's try this again, how are you, Oliver and Bee?" Jackson asks making sure to keep eye contact with me.

"It's fine. We're muddling through. Some days are heaven other's hell you know the usual. But I want to hear more about you."

Jackson catches my drift and starts to jabber about his life. I listen closely. Somewhere between the end of my freshmen year and the beginning of my sophomore year Jackson and I started talking.

I'm not sure how it all got started. One second we were eating Mr. Stewart's pancakes and then the next we're laughing about a new Snoopy comic in the paper. And since then I could always count on him, he was like another big brother.

"Alice loves her new teaching job here and Andrew has finally started making friends. It's just so great. I mean I never knew life would turn out this way…" Jackson looks better from the last time I've seen him.

He's gotten a new tan and his hair is much shorter. He still wears sandals and has that goofy grin but he seems at ease. Perfectly happy with the world and himself, I envy him. I poke at the sand and watch a sailboat go by.

"You look… pale." Jackson says and I know he has not idea what to say.

"Well I don't get out much…" I reply dryly.

"Is Oken treating you bad?"

Something in me snaps and I sit up quickly. "God no! Oliver is perfect! … I miss him now."

"Oh I suppose my company is that appalling?" He mocks.

"No, it's just well he's Oliver and Oliver a very missable guy."

"Is missable even a word?" Jackson laughs giving me a weird look. I shrug. "Probably not."

"Well I'm glad to see you still have some of that silly Lily left in you."

"…You should come and visit everyone this New Year's I know it'll make Miley and everyone really happy."

Jackson thinks it over. "Maybe I will! Alice is going to take Andrew to visit her family and since I can't stand those people this will give me the perfect excuse! You're my hero!" He hugs me.

I hear Alice calling Jackson and just as I'm about to say hello I vanish.

(January 1, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 42 and Beatrix: 7)

LILY: The house is all dark except for the kitchen light that Oliver has left for me. I walk up the stairs. It's early in the morning maybe two. I find my big red t-shirt and slip it on and crawl into bed. Oliver greets me with a kiss and wraps himself around me.

"Missed you." I tell him breathing him in.

"I'm glad you're back." He replies running a finger through my tangled hair. And then we fall asleep. No questions. No worries. Just let it go.

….

**Author's Note: **CraftyNotePad I feel like such an ass. I can't believe I've been messing up your name. How stupid! I'm very sorry. I need to start checking over that. To everyone else I hope this chapter was reasonably enjoyable. Leave your thoughts (or rambles)…

Lazy Days


	23. Joyeux Anniversaire!

**Author's Note: **If you still care _Simply Sarah_ I wrote listening to Schuyler Fisk's Fall Apart Today, Billie Holiday's I'll Be Seeing You, and Hellogoodbye's Dear Jamie Sincerely Me. Happy reading… (Now I'm going to go off and collapse from the lack of sleep.) Enjoy.

…..

(June 16, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

LILY: I get up at exactly 6:00 a.m. My eyes open and the sun isn't shinning. It's my birthday. I roll over and bump into Oliver. He grunts and pulls the covers up over his head. I get up and stretch.

I walk to the kitchen and begin making coffee. As it brews I flip through the paper. Three people died in an accident on I-24. I frown and turn to another page. There's a sale at the Gap. I can smell the coffee now. I fill a cup and sip it carefully, still very hot.

I place my dirty mug in the sink and walk slowly to the bathroom. Oliver is still fast asleep. He is snoring and I smile at him before closing the master bathroom door. I turn the shower on and let it run until it gets nice and hot.

I close the glass shower door and let the water hit me. It feels so good. I wash my hair with my new cucumber shampoo/conditioner by dove. I pick up the slippery soap and rub it across my arms, legs, and stomach. I scrub my face a few times and then shut the water off.

The room is foggy and I have to wipe the steam away from the mirror. I look at my face. It's very thin. I don't like that. My cheeks look a little sunken in and there's bags under my eyes again. I shrug and pull out my razor and shaving cream.

I prop my left leg up on the edge of the tub and spread the white cream over it. I shave carefully. I'm planning on wearing my new green summer dress today. After I finish I rinse my legs clear of white cream. Something burns.

I look down and notice that I've accidentally cut my leg. It's only a small cut, but it still hurts. I dry off and wrap a towel around me. I blow dry my hair and decide not to bother with make-up today. I slip into my dress and now I'm done.

I open the bathroom door; Oliver is sitting up and rubbing his eyes clear from sleep.

"Morning…" He yawns. I walk over and kiss his cheek. I hear Bee running down the hall. She comes in and jumps onto the bed with a giggle.

"Happy Birthday Mom!" She says clapping her hands together.

"Happy Birthday Lily..." Oliver says softly kissing me on the lips.

Oliver makes breakfast in his gray boxers and white undershirt. He drinks the extra coffee I made from earlier and sets out eggs and toast for all of us. Bee is buttering hers and Oliver smears his with jelly. I watch them and smile.

"So Beatrix remember tonight you're going over Miley's so pack a bag of things to do." Oliver reminds her. He is taking me out somewhere for my birthday, sweet boy, but I hate surprises.

Oliver has taken the day off today. We hit the zoo with Miley and Jake and all of their kids. We all ogle and ooh and ah at the shows and animals. We have a picnic in the park under a tree. Beatrix says over and over how much she loves the polar bears.

Later when she isn't looking I buy her a stuffed one at the gift shop. Oliver picks up Bee and sets her on his shoulders. She plays with her polar bear who she names, Henry. It is a beautiful day. I keep mostly to myself soaking up the sunlight.

Back at home Beatrix whines about her sunburn. Oliver carries her upstairs and puts her down for a well do afternoon nap. I sit in the kitchen munching on an apple and staring at the clouds forming. Maybe it'll rain? I always did like rain…

I've finished my apple and I lean back in my chair and look at the stairs. Where is Ollie? I get up and quickly make my way upstairs. Our door is closed, odd very odd. I walk over and knock on it.

There is a loud bang I know he's dropped something. I hear him swear and scramble around picking whatever it is up. I wait before knocking again. "Oliver what are you doing?"

"Just hold on a second."

I tap my foot. And then I hear him walk to the door. "What's the secret passwords?" he chuckles through the door.

I tap my chin with my index finger and think. "… Fuck me." I whisper into the crack of the door.

The door opens with a quick jolt and Oliver is smirking and raising an eyebrow. "What a dirty little mouth you have."

I walk in and sit on the bed and smile. "You weren't kidding were you?" He asks tilting his head to the side.

"Please my dear, I never joke."

Oliver snorts and collapses on the other side of the bed. "Whatever Lily." He sighs rubbing his eyes. I lay down with him and curl up next to him. We're quiet for a second.

"I like this." He says running a finger up my bare arm. "I also like this dress."

"Why thank-you." I whisper. We kiss and then pull away. I rest my head on his chest. He pulls my hair back and sets it off to the side so it's spread out over my pillow.

OLIVER: "But I hate surprises!" Lily laughs.

"Lily either you shut-up or I take you home right now." I glare at her, but inwardly smiling. She just shakes her head and I keep driving. We've just dropped Bee off at Miley's house and I'm taking Lily downtown to the music shop.

"Why are we here?"

"Do you not understand the meaning of a surprise?" I ask her while unlocking the door and holding it open so she can go through.

The upstairs lounge was finished yesterday. Lily hasn't seen it yet and I want to surprise her. We walk up the wooden stairs. Lily's shoes click softly.

There are candles set up along the bookcases full of CD's. The walls are painted a dark purple. Considering Lily wanted blue and I wanted red and we couldn't decide I thought why not just mix them?

Lily, for once, is speechless. There is a small dinner set up for us on a wooden table next to the window that over looks the park. The sun is setting and I just stand in the back letting her take it all in.

She hugs me and kisses me. "I love it, thank-you."

"Think nothing of it." I tell her. We walk over to the table and I hold out the seat for her, she sits down and rolls her eyes at me.

We eat slowly, I watch Lily chew her food and glance around the room. Her skin looks warm and soft under the candlelight. She's wearing her mother's old pearls; they delineate her collar bones and the pale smooth area above her breasts.

She catches me staring and looks away, a faint blush creeping up her cheeks. Lily's dress is simple and a light red. She isn't wearing any make-up. She looks beautiful. I sip my glass of white wine and we do not speak.

After we're finished I get from the table and walk towards the back of the room. Lily cranes her head back to see what I'm doing. I turn around and smile, it's a cake. I set it on the table and strike a match and light the single candle.

"Happy Birthday." I say sliding it to her. She looks up at me with her ocean eyes and smiles. "Make a wish." I whisper sitting down.

Lily closes her eyes and puckers her lips and blows out the candle. I clap and she laughs, her white teeth showing.

We eat our cake and I hold her hand from across the table. I clear the table by pushing the dishes aside. "Close your eyes." I say. She obeys and I get up slowly and walk over to the record player.

I slowly slide the record out and carefully place it on the record player. I put the needle down. There is a short hiss and then…

"Oh Oliver…" She breathes and I know it's perfect. "Thank-you."

I walk over to her and she opens her eyes as I take her hand. I sway with her to the musical stylings of Billie Holiday. I whisper the words in her ear and she giggles against my neck.

LILY: I turn over in bed when Oliver whispers my name. "Hum?" I sigh. I can make out his broad outline from the moon shining through the window.

"Was it a good birthday?" He asks timidly.

"The best, thank-you." I kiss him and turn back over to my comfortable position.

He wraps his arms around me and snuggles his head into my neck. I feel the stubble from his small bread rub against my skin. His breath is so warm and smells of his Crest toothpaste.

"Sweet dreams…" I tell him just as I feel his breaths become even and regular. I feel him nod and gently press his lips to my cool skin. Sweet dreamless sleep…

(June 18, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

LILY: I'm staring off into space. Oliver and I are out to lunch. Bee is sitting next to me coloring on the napkins. I haven't time traveled in a while. And if I do then it's always in some unknown city.

I'm so good at breaking into stores or swiping wallets, purses, or credit cards that I could do it blind folded. Not that I'd try…

"Here we are!" Oliver smiles sitting down at the booth holding the book I left in the car. It's _Jane Eyre_ by Charlotte Brontë. I grin at him and pinch his cheek.

"I always knew you were good for something Ollie." I tease letting go of him and sitting back into my seat. The booth is red and leather, it makes a loud unpleasent noise when you rub it the wrong way.

Beatrix stops drawing and begins writing with her blue crayon. Her handwriting is actually pretty good, considering her age. Bee's teachers have often complemtned her on her mad writing skills, along with her beahvoir. It's odd because at home Beatrix dances around in her underwear singing the Go Go's _HeadOver Heels_.

Her back is hunched over and a look of sheer dertinmation is written across her face. I try to see what she is writing but she hides it from my veiw.

"No! No looking! Not until I'm staisfied with the final product!" She says sternly. Oliver's mouth drops and I look at her strangely.

"Uh Bee? What have you been reading lately?"

She blushes. "James is reading Chaucer to me." She goes back to writing and I burst out laughing along with Oliver.

"And why is that?" Oliver smirks.

"Because I asked him too, I saw it on the shelf and asked him too." She says simply shrugging it off.

I shake my head. "Bee, do you even understand what he's reading to you?"

Bee shifts around in her seat. "Sometimes… maybe… no." Oliver just sips his pop and smiles. I hold out my hand across the table and he takes it. His hands are cool from gripping the ice cold beaverage.

(February 14, 2008 Lily: 43 and Oliver: 17)

LILY: I look around, there aren't any cars in my driveway. I see Oliver's car in his driveway. I jump up from the bush I'm hiding in and race across the street covering my chest.

I knock and wait. I knock again, I'm getting a little pissed now. It's four in the afternoon and I know at any minute some little kid is going to see me and-

"Lily?"

It's Oliver, he has a sandwhich in his hand. "Hey buddy." I wave while laughing nervously. "Wanna let a naked lady in?" I know it's past the time I've told him about myself. The paper I found lying in the trash says it's valentines day. Ooh.

He quickly grabs my arm and leads me inside. He's parents aren't home. His brother is at boy scouts and sister is out at dance practice. I slip into Oliver's mom's old stuff, a pair of sweat pants and big T-shirt.

I sit indian style on the couch. Oliver collapses in the cream colored chair in the corner and sighs.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"… I hate valenine's day." He answers gruffly.

"You ane me both." I snort laying down on the couch stretching out. I roll my head to the side and stare at him. By his silence I'm guessing something bad happened today. I rack my brain and try to think.

"Hey Ollie? Did something uunfortunate happen today?" I ask dryly.

"What gave that away?" He bites back bitterly. Whoa, whoa! What is up?

I sit up and try to make eye contact with him, he avoids me. "Oliver? Come on tell me what's wrong?"

"When do you and I get together?" He is frowning with a very fierce un-Oliver like look in his eyes.

"You know I can't tell you…"

"Yes you can! You can! Just tell me already! You're killing me." Oliver shouts, exasperated.

"In good time. Now tell me what's up or I'll knock some sense into you. And believe me time has only made me stronger." I joke. Oliver just keeps frowning, man, tough crowd.

"Katie and I went out yesterday." Oliver states after a minute. "Ring a bell?"

Oh, I'm so slow! I gave Oliver hell today! I stomped around acting like a four year old because I was wild with jealousy. Oliver went out with Katie and I hated him for it! And then I said some very unforgivable things to him.

"I'm sorry Oliver." I don't know what to say. I basically told Oliver to go to hell and that I hated him today. I was harsh, I was mean and insensitive.

"Why would you say those things to me?" Oliver asks looking at his feet with a defeated frown.

"I was upset Oliver. You have to understand that I love you. I love you so much in this time and the next. And right now I'm going through some really shitty things. And seeing you with stupid Katie really sent me through the roof… and not in a good way. Can you please forgive me?"

Oliver shrugs. "I don't know. I want to be with you two. But since Katie asked me I didn't see the harm in going out. And I thought it'd make you jealous and admit your feelings sooner."

I shake my head. "Be patient with me. I'm a mess right now."

"But why? What's wrong? Is it the traveling thing? Just give me a clue so the next time you scream at me and slap me across the face I'll know why!" Oliver is pleading with me; his brown eyes are burning holes in mine.

"… I was hurt." I say softly.

I notice the sudden stiffness in Oliver's position in the chair. "What?" He says through his teeth.

"The me in this time was hurt by a stranger. It happened a few days ago. And seeing you with Katie really did not help. I took my anger out on you."

"But you don't have any marks or bruises." Oliver says with scared eyes.

"It's on my arms. It was this guy, he held me against the wall… oh don't look like that please. Ollie I hate that face, this happens to me a lot. Its just this was the very first time and it really scared me."

Oliver looks like he's going to be sick. He closes his eyes and his fists curl together very tightly. I get up from the couch and put my arms around him. I hear him sniff and I feel hot tears on my neck.

"It's going to be ok Oliver. You make all the pain go away. It's because of you I smile again."

We pull apart and Oliver turns from me. He doesn't want me to see him crying. I sit on the arm of the chair and wait for him to regain some kind of control.

"I _hate _that I can't help you. I _hate _that I'm useless." He whispers fiercely, still not quite meeting my gaze.

I rub his back. "You do fine. And your not useless, want me to restate that last statement? _You _make everything clear and perfect again. Okay?"

He nods and I kiss his head. I stand up just as the doorbell rings. It's me coming to apologize. Oliver glances up at me with red eyes. I nod and he stands and walks to the door. As I hear my younger self being to babble about how sorry I' am, I vanish knowing that Oliver stops my ramble with a safe warm hug.

(June 21, 2034 Oliver/Lily: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

OLIVER: I've just finished cleaning up after dinner. Lily has been gone for about two hours. I take a seat on the couch and rub my tired eyes.

"Ollie…" I hear her voice from the other room. I open my eyes and find Lily walking over and sitting next to me on the couch. She's wearing my bathrobe.

I smile at her and she pulls me into a close hug. "If I could I would trade eternity to stay in your arms for one single moment." She whispers in my ear slowly.

"Where's this coming from?" I smile kissing her cheek.

"February 14, 2008." She says with tears lining the edges of her eyes. Oh…

….

**Author's Note: **I hope that last statement wasn't too corny. I try to avoid the cliché moments. Hopefully it was a good read. Leave your thoughts…


	24. Tainted

**Author's Note: **This was difficult to write. Please don't be upset, try and understand. Music: KT Tunstall- Throw Me a Rope (Acoustic version) great song, Frou Frou- Shh, and The Killers- Reasons Unknown, lastly Death Cab for Cutie- I Will Follow You into the Dark.

……

(July 7, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

LILY: I'm sitting in Cindy's office, listening to her explain to me why it won't work. Outside the heat is blazing. You walk outside and sweat immediately begins pouring from your scalp. It's one of those days I wish I could have spent at the beach catching the perfect wave…

The lights are off in her office and the air conditioner is on full blast. It rattles and makes loud whooshing noises. We are sitting across from each other in the same seats we always have. I want water. I want to scream. I want Cindy to shut up so I can ask her a question. I feel like jumping up and leaving but instead I stay put.

"Lily? Did you hear me?"

"Um no." I sit up in my seat like a schoolchild getting caught daydreaming.

"I asked if you understood why it can't work."

"Oh yeah." I try and fit my thoughts together. "It won't work because my immune system is screwed. And because I'm old. And because there are too many genes involved."

"Right." Cindy sighs rubbing her temples. "I'm sorry."

I think about all the times I've hear that. I think back to that day we learned about alternate universes. We had hope. Had. Cindy tried working with the time traveling mice again but it failed. Everything is falling apart. I think about Oliver.

I clear my throat. "So what about Beatrix? Would it work for her?"

"We'll never know unless you and Oliver bring her in and we try gene therapy."

"But if you had her DNA you could make some mice and work on stuff for her and when she is eighteen she can decide if she wants to try it?" I ask with my hands on my knees and leaning forward.

"Yes."

"So even if I'm screwed at least Bee can benefit from it someday?"

"Yes."

"Ok then." I say leaning back and wiping the cold sweat that formed behind my neck. "That's what we'll do."

OLIVER: I'm in the attic flipping through old photos and journals. The sun is setting through the attic window; it sets a nice orange glow around the room. I see dust particles rising. I rub my hand over my forehead to wipe the sweat away. This weather is killing everyone.

I hear the front door open and close. "Oliver?"

"Attic!" I yell to Lily. I hear her bare feet running up the stairs and down the hall. I see the outline of her shadow on the wall as she comes up the attic steps.

"Hey babe…" She says softly sitting next to me. "What do we have here?"

"Pictures of us." I show her the one from freshmen year. Lily is sticking her tongue out and I'm laughing. Another one is of us three. Miley, Lily, and me, we are in front of Rico's sitting on the bar stools. Our backs are to the camera.

"How was Doctor Brown's office?" I ask her, turning another page. Silence strikes and I look up at her. Her face is a little pained, she can't look at me. Lily looks out the window, the sun lights up her face and her hair catches aflame.

I'm afraid to ask, I'm terrified to even open my mouth. I'm happy when she begins. "There's nothing left to do. We can only hope and wait… together. And I also talked to Cindy about Beatrix." Lily stops.

I shake my head and put the photo album back in its box. "No, Lily no. I can't watch her go threw what you did. I cannot and will no sit back and watch her fall apart. I'm already loosing you! Leave something behind… leave something for me to hold on to."

Lily hangs her head and sucks in a shaky breath. "I just want to leave her a safety net. I want to insure that Beatrix has a choice. I want to know that she can decide between time traveling and a normal life… Will you at lest let me leave her that? A safety net." Lily says softly.

I draw in a breath and nod. Lily gets up and bends over and kisses my forehead. "Thank-you." She says, crying without a sound. I wait until Lily has gone downstairs before I let a few tears run down my cheeks.

I gathered myself together and walk downstairs. Lily and Bee are cooking dinner. I close my eyes and listen to them laugh. I try and picture life as it once was. I was fourteen and carefree. I open my eyes and watch Lily and Bee make macaroni and cheese.

Lily catches my eye, she looks at me sadly. I shake my head and mouth 'I love you.' A small smile runs across her lips. She turns back to Bee and helps her stir the noodles.

(October 19, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

LILY: I'm sitting up in bed, it's 4:30 a.m., Oliver is passed out. I get out of the bed slowly. I find my old purple mesh shorts on the small chair in the corner. I slip them on and pull a large gray sweatshirt over my head.

My tennis shoes are waiting by the front door. I step outside and breathe in the morning air. I close my eyes and let every sound, feeling, taste fill me. I hear a rabbit rustle in the bushes. A bird flies overhead.

I stretch in the driveway. The sky is a perfect deep purple but the sun will be rising soon. It's nice and cold. I begin with a light jog down Jones Street.

I reach the corner stop sign and break out into a dead set run. My arms are pumping back and forth. My heart is hammering in my chest. My legs burn, but I'm almost there, I've almost reached it.

And then, like a quick flash of the rising sun, I'm flying, I'm soaring. Nothing can stop me! Nothing, nothing, nothing-

OLIVER: I wake up and Lily isn't next to me. I check the clock, green numbers say: 6:30. I get up and look around. The sun's rays are streaming through the small portion of the window that is not closed by curtain.

I stumble down the stairs with droopy eyes. I make coffee and try to wake up. I flip through the paper. I hear the back door open and I spot Lily kicking off her shoes.

"Running?" I ask pouring coffee.

"Yes." Lily says between breaths. She walks over looking sore and tired; she sits in a chair and exhales.

Lily is drenched with sweat. She looks as if she's just come out of a rainstorm. "Water?" I ask.

"Please!" Lily nods fiercely fanning herself. I grab an ice cold water bottle from the fridge and throw it to her. She catches it and gulps it down.

"So how was the run?"

"Long, I'm not young anymore. I can't run like I used to, but for a split second it was beautiful."

I smile, she looks beat but happy. If she's satisfied then I' am. "I'll go wake up Bee." Lily smirks walking out and skipping up the stairs. I finish drinking my coffee and a minute later I hear Bee squeal and come bounding down the stairs.

"EW! MOMMY YOU ARE DISGUSTING!" She cries running to me. I hear Lily howling with laughter. I look over at Bee, she is wet.

"What happened?" I chuckle.

"She hugged me and she was all sweaty!" Bee says sticking out her tongue. That's Lily for you.

(October 23, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

LILY: … I'm scared. I haven't told Oliver and I know that was a mistake, but I just couldn't. Something happens today. I have marked the date down in my memory. If I recall correctly I'm sitting in Miley's kitchen right now at 42 sipping tea.

Beatrix is at Miley's house now too. I'm alone. Oliver is out at the store buying things to make the salad for tonight. I'm sitting in the living in the red chair, just waiting. My hands are clasped tightly together. My knuckles are white.

Just let it be quick. Whatever it is, just let it be quick. I shut my eyes when the pain begins and then…

_Slam! _

I'm on a hard black road! Pain! Pain!

Headlights burning my eyes. I'm screaming! I'm screaming! There's a loud crash. And pain, all I feel shooting up and down my body is burning pain. People are whispering and shouting. I hear a man cry out: "Call an ambulance!"

I can't see. My eyes have failed. Everything is a white blur. And then… darkness.

OLIVER: It's a dull job, shopping. I'm pushing my cart down to the check-out. A teenage girl swipes my food across, I pay and flee. There's nothing good on the radio so I keep it off. I pull up in the driveway.

I'm carrying the food inside. I open the door, while juggling the two brown bags. I close it and put my keys in my pocket. I walk into the kitchen and there she is.

"Lily!" I hear myself yell, voice hoarse and raw. She's not moving and her legs are tied up in an unnatural position. I drop the bags and run to her. I check her pulse- faint, very, very faint.

_Later:_

The Emergency Room: a scene of fluorescent limbo: Worried mother's with feverish children. Teenagers whose friends are having bullets removed from various limbs. Elderly people sitting looking drained and sickly.

"Help please, please help me!"

I'm carrying Lily; she is limp and lifeless in my arms. Tears are streaming down my face and I don't care who sees me. A doctor and a nurse run over. They pry her away from me and place her on a gurney.

They begin to roll her away. I run to catch up but a nurse stops me. "I'm sorry sir but you'll have to wait." She says pushing me back.

"NO! That's my _wife_! Let me go! Let me be with her!" I'm hysterical and everyone is staring at me. She shakes her head and walks away. She goes through the swinging doors and disappears. I sink into a chair and cover my face.

"Don't you _dare_ take her from me." I hiss under my breath. I don't know who I'm talking too, maybe God maybe the devil.

_Later:_

"Oliver?"

I don't move. I'm so tired.

"Oliver it's me Miley."

I feel her hand on my shoulder. She sits down next to me and rubs my back slowly. "Miley?" I ask quietly in a child voice.

"I'm here. I'm right here." She reassures me kindly.

I shake and feel tears roll down my cheeks. "They took her away from me. I- I wasn't allowed to go. They _took _her."

We sit in silence. I look up after a minute and face her. Miley's face is white and her eyes are dark. We wait.

"Mr. Oken?"

My head snaps up and I stand up even faster. The nurse that pushed me away is staring at me now. Her nametag says Sue. Sue frowns at me.

"Come with me." She says. I glance back to Miley she waves me off. I follow Sue through the swinging doors. The hall is quiet and dim. I pass different rooms. I see other patients.

"Where is she? Where's my wife? What's happened?" I shout grabbing Sue. The red haired woman looks at me with unhappy eyes.

"Mr. Oken, I'm very sorry but your wife has been in a terrible accident which has left her paralyzed from the waist down."

I back away. I fall back onto the white wall. "W-What?" I gasp.

Sue hangs her head. "When you are ready she is in room 304. She's still not awake yet." Sue walks away, her hands in her pockets.

I take deep long breaths. What is to become of us now? I look around waiting for anything. A slap to wake me from this nightmare. I get up and walk to her room. My Lily is lying in bed. She almost looks unrecognizable, her skin blends in so perfectly with the white sheets.

Her eyes are closed but her mouth is moving. Her head moves from side to side. She is whispering my name. I take a chair and pull it up to the side of her bed. I pick up Lily's hand and wince when I feel how dry and cold it is.

My eyes slowly make their way to her legs. They lay very still. They don't look any different. Still the same legs I've touched and kissed. But they are not the same, they are broken. What about Lily? Is she broken too?

It is late at night. The moon is hidden, there are no stars. I bend over and kiss her forehead. Her head is hot and sweaty. I sit back down and stare at her. Where are you Lily?

She slowly stirs. Lily opens one eye and then another. "Where am I?"

"October 23 2034." I reply not missing a beat. Lily tries to sit up. Her face goes from tired and drugged to panicked and frightened in a matter of seconds. Lily pushes her hands down hard on the bed and pulls her weight up but she fails.

Oh God. Oh God.

Her eyes dart around the room. She looks down at her legs and frantically begins to thrash around in the bed. "What's wrong what- what's happened?!" Her legs don't move. Her upper body moves and jerks around.

Lily throws the sheets off the bed and touches her legs. I wait. I turn away. I close my eyes. I can't watch, I can't see.

Lily begins to _scream_.

….

**Author's Note: **Hate me if you will… Leave your thoughts…


	25. Dead Weight

**Author's Note: **

_CraftyNotePad:_ Yum, this cookie rocks! (laughs) In my mind it is just a teensy weensy bit scary waking up and realizing you can't move. I know Lily should be happy but just wait there's always more! I'm glad you liked the chapter personally I think I could have done it better. I spent a little too much time mulling over it.

Music: Norah Jones- Not Too Late, Schuyler Fisk- Lonely Again… for the end of this chapter I used silence. (I find most of my music on Myspace. Personally, I don't have one but they have a ton of cool stuff so go under indie or folk rock … or just type in the artist and bam! Music!)

…..

(October 28, 2034 Oliver/Lily: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

OLIVER: I throw another load into the washing machine and press start. I watch clothes spin around and around getting faster with every turn. All I can hear is the ground slightly vibrating and the spinning noise of the machine.

I don't hear her footsteps.

I don't hear her laugh.

All is quiet.

"Daddy?"

I jump and turn around to see Bee looking up at me with worried eyes. "Yeah? "I ask scratching my neck.

"Is mommy okay?"

"She will be, just don't bother her too much okay?" I say bending down to her level. Beatrix shrugs and walks away. I walk out of the laundry room and into the kitchen. Bee is sitting at the table eating breakfast.

I pass her and slowly make my way upstairs. Our door is slightly open. It's cloudy this morning so it's dark and cold inside the room. I get to the door and push it open. Lily is lying in the bed. Eyes closed, pretending to sleep.

I go into the master bathroom and grab the painkillers the doctor proscribed. I snap off the top take two and fill a glass with water from the sink. I walk over to her. Lily and I haven't spoken much since we've gotten home from the hospital.

I come in every morning before I take Bee to school and give her the pills and then again at night before I go and sleep downstairs on the couch. I can't help her, she won't let me. I don't know if she thinks I'll turn her away. I don't know if she's embarrassed. I don't know!

"Lily?" I sit on the chair next to the bed and hold the green pills out to her. She opens her eyes. They are so dim, they are lifeless.

She takes the pills and water. I wait until she's finished and get back up and walk away. Although Lily is here, I can see her, touch her, she's disappeared.

"Come on Bee let's go."

We walk out and I shut the door.

LILY: My mother is sitting at the edge of my bed. I don't want her to know, I don't want her to see. I cover myself with the blankets and hope she will just leave.

"Lily? Come on I know you're awake." She says. "Rise and shine."

I turn over. "Mmm. Mornin'"

"Its 2:40 in the afternoon you should get out of bed."

I laugh, it's not a pretty laugh, it's dry. "I don't have legs."

"Sure you do, they just don't work… where's your wheelchair?" Mom asks looking around. She finds it folded up in the corner. She pushes the seat down and rolls it to my side of the bed. "Come Lily you smell, you need a bath."

Mom peels the covers off of me and I cringe. She helps me sit up and slowly slides me off the bed and into the chair. She wheels me into the bathroom.

The tub is already full of water. The sun is peaking through one of the window at the very top of the wall. My mom puts her hands on her hips and stares at me.

"What?" I frown at her.

She shakes her head and begins to pull my shirt over my head. I push away from her. "I have_ hands_ you know!" I hiss at her.

My mother backs away from me and sits down on the edge of the sink and waits. I pull my shirt off and look at her with a sour glare. She turns away and begins looking through my drawers taking out my toothpaste and comb.

I look down at the water and then at my legs. I try to pull my pajama bottoms off. I try to move, but silly me, I can't. I get frustrated and lean forward too fast and too hard and fall into the tub. A huge wave splashes onto the tile. Hallelujah! I'm in the tub.

Mom comes over to me and helps me readjust my queer position, my head against the wall and my legs dangling outside of the tub. She pulls my shorts off and picks my legs up and gently places them inside of the tub.

I wash my hair. The water is nice and warm as my mother pours a bucket over my head to get the soap out of my hair and eyes. I feel like a small child. I'm cleaned and shaved when Oliver walks into the room.

I've just about clasped my bra on when he pocks his head through the door. My mother is cleaning up the water on the floor. He smiles at me and I look up at him. Oliver's face is wrinkled and tired. I lean back in the chair.

I want to stand and run to him. I feel trapped more then ever. GET ME OUT! OUT! And then suddenly I start to cry. I'm alive, and I should rejoice but I can't fucking move! I can't twirl Bee around. I can't walk with Oliver down the path at the park.

"Lily?"

It's my mother's voice. I whimper and put my head in my hands. She wraps herself around me and holds my head to her chest. "Don't cry. Don't cry." She whispers soothingly in my ear.

But I just keep sobbing.

I release myself from my mother's grasp and rub my red eyes. Oliver is no longer standing in the doorway. I push the wheels of the chair forward and roll out of the bathroom. I get to the hallway and stare at the stairs.

Suddenly I feel strong arms wrap around me and lift me up. Oliver picks me up from the chair and carries me down the stairs. My mother grabs the wheelchair. Oliver places me gently on the couch in the living room. He hands me my book that I was reading weeks ago but never finished. (_Of Mice and Men _by Steinbeck.)

He kisses my cheek and then goes back to making dinner. I watch him. My mother quietly says goodbye and walks out the door. Bee waves at me from the kitchen table, she is coloring.

"Ollie?" Hearing my voice is strange. It is shaky and cracks at his childhood nickname.

In a spilt second he is at my side caressing my cheek. "It's so good to hear you…" He whispers.

His fingers are warm from the heat of the stove. I begin to nod my head but then it shakes back and forth. "I just…" I begin, but I can't say it. "I just can't do it anymore… I'm so tired… Ollie I'm dying."

Oliver shakes his head quickly. "Pish Posh darling we are all closer to death every day." He tries to keep the moment light. I kiss him. I need to remember exactly what he tastes like.

The kiss is hard and forced. My hands run through his hair, pulling and tugging. His arms circle around me like a fitted belt. And then I forget. I'm dizzy with love for this adorable boy. He is still just as boyish and clumsy.

"I love you." I tell him, pulling away oh so slowly.

"Forever and always." Oliver smiles. I touch his rough face; I run a finer along his jaw line. He kisses me again and then I fly, I' am released: being wells up in my heart.

(November 1, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

OLIVER: I realize, once again, just how much I love her laugh. We are sitting at the dinning room table with Miley and Jake drinking and playing scrabble when Lily just throws her head back and laughs. She's sitting next to me with one hand on my thigh and another in her lap. She looks wonderful.

I'm playing with her endless hair. Her wheelchair is pulled up very close to my side. Miley took the news of Lily almost the same way I did. She couldn't meet Lily's eye for about a week. And then one day all of us broke down together and then… well here we are; back the way it was in high school: laughing.

One of Miley's old Hannah records is playing. Jake reminds us of the good days- sneaking into premieres disguised as different people (Lola and Owen) and plotting evil schemes on how to get Ashley and Amber back.

Lily giggles as she recalls a time traveling and ending up naked in the men's bathroom at a Hannah concert. I chuckle remembering when I found her running down the back stage hallway hiding behind a trashcan.

_Thump._

We look to the kitchen. Lily pushes me forward, telling me to check it out. She hands me the blanket that was draped over her legs to me. I take it and see a nude Lily leaning up against the bottom cabinet.

"Hey buddy." She waves while trying to sit up; her legs lying helpless, and useless. She winces as she finally succeeds at pulling up her weight. I wrap her in the blanket and pick her up.

She snuggles into my chest and kisses my neck. "You smell good." She smiles.

"Anything for you." I wink charmingly. I bring her into the living room and I place her gently on the sofa and kiss her forehead. Miley and Jake are very quietly watching the scene. The Lily of my moment just keeps smiling.

I turn back to the traveling Lily and whisper in her hair. "Need anything?"

"No thanks Ollie, I just want to sleep." She yawns. I nod and kiss her again and then turn and sit back at the table.

"Wow." Miley breathes.

"What?" I ask looking around confused.

"You're so…" Miley trails off and Jake blinks dumbly.

My Lily kisses me fully on the lips and quietly says to me. "You're perfect." I don't understand but Lily looks so happy, so I don't question it. She holds my hand tightly and doesn't let it go for the remainder of the night.

LILY: Oliver is tracing the lines on my face. His fingers tips lightly brush across my eyelashes, my lips, the wrinkles around my mouth and the corners of my eyes. He is careful and warm.

"Thank-you." I whisper after a moment.

"For what?" He asks, still tracing.

"For being tender and true."

I feel his lips on my cheek. I take his face in my hands and pull him to me. He rolls on top of me, our lips crash together. I love him this way, his weight crushing me and pushing me deeper into the mattress of the bed.

I want to wrap my legs around him. I want to feel him in that way. I want him to stroke my thighs and kiss my ankles, I want to _feel_. But instead we pull away and he holds me close to his chest. He runs his hand up and down the side of my arm.

I feel my throat close up, choking me. I can't do this… I don't want to leave him. I can't imagine a place without him. No heaven could be complete without my Ollie.

"Oliver?" I whisper, scared. "When it comes… when I go everything is taken care of… I've made arrangements."

His hold on me tightens and I wince, it hurts.

"Please don't talk like that." Oliver sighs

"… I'm sorry." I cringe barring my head in his blue shirt. I breathe in shaky and let out harsh and fast. Tears are slowly falling. I can't do this. "Don't let me go… Don't let it get me…" I cry softly.

Oliver puts his face in my hair. "Lily… Lily… I won't let it… never."

We fall asleep, me clinging to his shirt and Oliver holding me, safe and sound.

(November 3, 2034 Oliver/Lily: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

LILY: I'm lounging lazing about. My legs are dangling off of the chair arm. A warm blanket is covering me and my book is just getting to the good part. I turn the page and smile, good old Kurt Vonnegut gets me every time!

"Again with Slaughterhouse five!" Oliver laughs walking down the stairs staring at me.

"Well he _is _a genius!"

"Or not." Oliver fights back playfully. If I could I would have jumped up and punched him, but I can't. For a moment it hurts, but then I look up and meet Oliver's warm eyes and suddenly I don't care.

"Here." Oliver bends down and holds out his arm. "You know you want to."

I laugh and punch his lightly on the shoulder. "Thank-you, I feel much better."

"Always the abuser tisk, tisk." Oliver sighs walking off into the kitchen. "How does chicken sound for tonight?" He yells to me from the other room.

"If I say no what would we have?" I smirk.

"Chicken!"

I laugh and look back to my book. Bee is taking piano lessons from Miley today. Oliver and I will have to pick her up promptly at six or Miley will have out heads. I hear something crash upstairs. Oliver hears it too and goes sprinting up the stairs. I have to wait.

"It's Bee!"

"MOM!"

"Bee?"

Beatrix comes bounding down the stairs and races to me out of breath. She's wearing one of my The Shins t-shirts. "What is it?" I ask placing my book down and sitting up, with much difficulty.

She wipes a few tears away and I'm having flashbacks of another November day one year ago.

"I-I… when was it? Tell me the date, place, everything! We can beat it!" She talking so fast I have to blink twice and turn to Oliver who is standing on the bottom step.

"Bee what are you talking about?" Oliver says slowly. She groans, frustrated and sits next to me and looks at my legs and then at her hands clasped together tight.

"You haven't traveled there yet have you, to the party this New Year?"

"No." I tell her and she puts her head in her hands. Bee begins to shake from her tears. I pull myself closer to her and hug her.

"I try… I try every time and every time I fail. I can't win. This isn't fair!" She screams.

Oliver walks over and pulls her head up by her chin. "Tell us everything Bee."

"I know there are alternate universes out there… or were, once mom was well paralyzed that screwed everything up. All of the other possibilities flew out the window. And now I'm trying to find where it is mom goes. The place where she dies. I think I can save her but I don't know where to go."

I pull her blond hair back behind her ear. "Can I talk to Bee alone for a minute Oliver?" I ask him. Oliver looks hurt but walks off anyway to check on the chicken.

"How old are you Bee?"

"Twenty-seven."

"So you're married to Robert?" I ask softly. She sighs and leans back into the couch

"Yes, but we're fighting right now… he thinks I'm spending too much time trying to save you. He says that I should let it go and move on… like a normal person."

I take a good look at my daughter. What punches a hole through my heart is that she's beginning to look like I do now. Thin, frail, sickly.

"I love you Bumble Bee you know if I could I would stay with you and your dad but… I just don't see how this can truly be over…" It kills me to tell her this.

"But there is! If I can stop what's coming then we'll be free!" There's excitement in her voice.

"But what about you Beatrix? How do I save you?"

She looks at her feet. "I'm already saved. Doctor Brown found something for me…just me… I'm just not… well I'm putting it off, I have to save you first." She's determined.

I grab my daughter fiercely by the arms. "Listen to me! You get back to your own time and take whatever the hell Cindy has for you. Stop traveling."

Bee looks scared but shakes her head. "No." And then she disappears.

Oliver walks back into the room and we stare at the t-shirt lying on the floor. "Did she have any solutions?"

"No, I'm just ruining her life."

(November 14, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

OLIVER: Lily has been in a funk ever since the visit from older Beatrix. She still smiles at me and kisses me good morning and good night but something is missing. She doesn't hold my hand.

Currently I'm at the shop. Lily is rolling around with Bee on her lap. They are zooming into and out of the back rooms. I can hear Bee squealing with delight and begging Lily to go faster.

We've had fifteen customers today. The sun is already down and it's closing time. I finish recording the buys and close the book. I lock the door and pull down the shades and turn the open sign to closed side.

"Daddy!" I hear Beatrix cry.

"What?" I ask grabbing my coat and slipping it on.

"Mommy's gone!"

It's funny but every time I hear that it's like the first time. My body shrinks and my heart hurts. "Ok sweetie, let's fold up her clothes and go home. I'll get the chair…"

(January 1, 2035, Lily/ Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

LILY: Not two seconds ago I was playing with Bee. We were on my wheelchair skating across the music shop's back rooms. Now, I'm in the hallway of my house. I hear people cheering: "Happy New Year!"

My arms hurt; I'm pulling my dead weight across the wood floor trying to find someone.

"Lily?!"

It's Jake; he sheds his black jacket and wraps it around me. "Take me to the living room." I demand just as I hear Miley scream.

He picks me up and runs. Everyone is in a circle gathered around the other me who belongs in this time. The other me is bleeding from a gun shot in the chest. She is shivering a shaking.

Jake tells everyone to get the hell out of the way. For a split second I'm very happy to have him around and then all of my attention goes to the me dying on the living room carpet.

Jake places me next to myself. I take her hand. "Where, tell me!"

"O-October 27, 1992…" She breathes out. Her face is scrunched up and pained. "I-In the woods… Oliver!"

Suddenly Oliver comes running through the front door. He is at her side in a moment. His eyes glance to me and then to his dying wife. He's crying. He cradles her in his arms.

"Mommy!" Bee screams trying to fight her way through the people.

"Love you…" The other me whispers to him.

"Lily-" Oliver cries.

"Always…"

"Oh God, oh God."

"And forever…"

"_No! _Lily!" Oliver's voice rings out amongst the silence. Everyone is still, frozen in place staring. I cradle Bee as she whimpers and reaches out for her other mother. The woman who is me in a matter of months.

I shut my eyes. There is so much blood. I put my face in Beatrix's hair, she smells like raspberries. Home… Home… Where is my home?

(November 3, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

OLIVER: I'm putting Bee to bed when I hear Lily sobbing. I kiss Beatrix's head and tell her to stay and sleep. I run to our bedroom and find Lily crying into the covers.

"I saw it!" She says not looking at me. "Oh _God _I wish I hadn't!"

I get onto the bed and crawl up next to her. "Don't speak just… let me hold you."

"No, now all we have to do is wait for Bee… wait for her to come back and then it'll be ok…"

I'm running my fingers through her hair. "You sure about this?"

"It's all I have to work with. I can't die yet, I'm not ready… I love you Oliver."

"I love you too Lily, so much."

…..

**Author's Note: **Blah! I'm not sure about this chapter… Also (sad note) I won't be able to update for a while. I'm going out of town. Truly, I'm sorry. So hang in there and stay faithful to me, you'll like what's coming… well… I hope you do. Leave your thoughts.


	26. What You Cannot Escape

**Author's Note:** I had a serial experience one day on my trip. I was sitting in a small book store debating the archetypes of the book _Of Mice and Men _with my cousin (I'm convinced it's from the Bible: Cane and Able.) I looked out the window and saw a blond woman.

She turned around and I noticed her blue eyes. There was a little girl standing next to her holding her leg and she looked identical to the older woman. It was mind blowing.

But then a tall man with brown hair and eyes walked out of the ice cream shop and handed the little girl a cone. He then said something to the older woman and she laughed and then they kissed and started to walk away.

I wanted to cry out to them (Lily! Oliver! Beatrix!). Just to see if they would turn and look at me and wave. I sat there wide eyed and laughing. My cousin thinks I've finally lost it. When she asked what was wrong I simply told her while shaking my head: "Those damn Okens."

**Music:** Andrew Bird- Scythian Empires, Lull, Heretics. Sufjan Stevens- Casimir Pulaski Day

….

(November 6, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

OLIVER: I'm dreaming. There's a fog looming over me. I can't see and I can't move. Something is holding me back, its grip tight and unpleasant. I shake my head and the white fog slowly pulls away. I take in my surroundings slowly.

The grass is black and wavering in the wind. There is a large tree planted dead center of the field. Its dark brown branches sit as hands high up in the air holding something that resembles a clock.

The sky is red. I try to move again but the arms that hold me pull me back. I'm barefoot and wearing my suit from Jake and Miley's wedding. Yellow waves spring from out of the tree. It's so bright that it burns my eyes.

The waves are golden like the sun. But when the waves reach me it tickles my nose, it's hair. It smells sweet like late spring rain. I close my eyes and the hair brushes against my cheeks. I hear a voice whisper my name.

I open my eyes and see Lily standing in front of me. She has been crying. I try and reach for her but once again I'm trapped. "You can walk?" I ask.

She doesn't answer me. She just keeps standing very still and letting tears pour form her eyes. "What are we waiting for?" I question looking around. She turns and points to the tree.

It makes a loud dong as the clock's hands strike twelve. The ground shakes and Lily cries out for me. I thrash and squirm under the arms wrapped around me. "LILY! LILY!" The earth opens and she is pulled under.

The sky cracks and blue pours into the red. Colors are swirling together. I finally free myself from the arms that bound me. Lily's piercing screams surround me, but I cannot find her. I look up and come face to face with the person holding me back it-

I wake up in a cold sweat. Lily is turned over sleeping, her outline moving up and down with each breath. I wipe my face and run my hands over my small beard. It's so dark in the room that fear finds it's way crawling under my skin.

I feel like a little kid again, looking for a nightlight. I was always terrified of the dark as a child. I would wake up screaming about the monsters under my bed or in my closet. The strangest part was one night when Lily slept over. We were fairly young and I woke up crying but she didn't laugh. She held my hand and calmed me down. Maybe that was the night I fell in love with her. It just took many years to register those feelings.

I get up from the bed and walk into the bathroom. I sit on the edge of the tub and try to calm myself down. "Oliver?"

My head snaps up. Lily is sitting up in bed. I put my head back down and stare at my feet. "Hey." I say.

"You ok?" She asks worried. "Please come back to bed."

"It was just a dream. I want to sit up for a minute." I tell her. I look up and see her face shinning in the small bathroom light. She frowns and her eyes look very melancholy. "I want to hug you." She informs me.

I get up and slide back into the bed with her. She rubs my back and holds my head to her chest. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Was it the monsters?"

"…Yes."

(November 8, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

LILY: I'm in the bathtub. It's late at night and Beatrix has already been kissed goodnight. The tub is full with my lavender scented bubbles. My hair is tied up in a loose bun, I'm not in the mood to spend an hour drying it and combing it tonight.

Music is playing on the radio, something old, something I can't quiet place. The bathroom door opens. I open my eyes and smile at Oliver.

"Bonjour le chéri." He says in his perfect French accent.

"Care to join?" I ask gesturing to the tub. He smirks and sheds his shirt, pants, and underwear. I wait as he dips one of his toes into the steaming water. Then he slowly slides in, sitting across from me.

"Hi." I whisper.

"You look beautiful." He says; his face dead serious. I laugh and he blushes and starts to play with the bubbles. He makes himself a long bubbly beard and grins. I splash a little water his way.

He shakes his head fast back and forth reminding me of a dog. The water splatters on me and I giggle. He leans forward and gives me a peck on the lips. He reaches for the soap and picks one of my leg up and begins washing my feet.

"I like your toes." He says randomly and I thank him. We sit together touching, kissing. I like running my fingers through his hair. He nuzzles his cheek against my wrist while I tickle his ear.

There is a knock on the door. "Mom?"

I can tell from her voice that it's older Bee. I smile at Oliver and he rolls his eyes. "Yes?" Oliver answers running his warm hand down my neck.

"Are you guys decent?" She asks back and I can tell she is probably smirking.

"Hold on!" I yell back. Oliver gets up and soap bubbles begin sliding down his legs and chest. I have a sudden wild teenage thought. I want to pin him somewhere, anywhere and press myself fully against his naked body. I want to smell that lavender soap on his skin…

Oliver grabs two towels. One he wraps around his waist and another he sets on the sink counter. He walks over and lifts me out of the tub. I take this moment to smell his neck. I kiss it quickly as Oliver sets me down on the counter.

He drains the tub and wraps me up in a towel. He's so good to me. How in the hell did I get so lucky?

Oliver opens the door and I see Beatrix standing just outside the door waiting. She's wearing Oliver's old long flannel shirts. Oliver places me on the bed. I watch him pick out our pajamas for a moment before turning my attention to Beatrix.

Bee sits down next to me and frowns. "Do you have any information since our last visit?"

"How old are you?" I ask calmly.

"Thirty-two." She says quickly. "Now information." It's a demand, not a suggestion.

"October 27, 1992 in the woods." I reply dryly.

"Woods? What woods?" She asks puzzled.

I shrug. "Got me. I have no idea."

I don't want to talk about this. I'm tired. I just want to spend time with Oliver. I want to play with Beatrix as a child and lounge in the living room while reading a good book. I don't want to talk about death. Not now, not here.

Oliver places my green pajamas on the bed. He is already dressed in his white t-shirt and blue boxers. He steps back and has his thinking face on. His brow pulls together and his lips form into a perfectly straight line.

"Woods… woods…" He whispers to himself. "Lily! The woods! Our woods!"

I tilt my head to the side and stare at him. "Oliver, babe, I don't remember any wo-" I stop.

When we were younger there was a small wooded area just out in our backyard. It was beautiful. But it was torn down to make room for more housing. Oliver and I cried together that day. Our tree house was ripped down which is one of the many reasons we made that memory box in the park.

Oliver and I have secrets hidden all over that town. "Okay so where can I find this place? Mom do you know how it happens?" Beatrix asks not taking her eyes off of me.

"Beatrix! Do you remember our last conversation? I told you to stop. Cindy has something for you. I want you to stop traveling. I know you want to save me but you're killing yourself in the process."

Oliver slams a fist onto our dresser. "Damn it Lily!" He growls. Both Beatrix and I look at him. His jaw is tight and his teeth are clenched together. "She's trying to save you. Don't you want to be saved?"

He looks at me with his sad little boy eyes and I notice that his hands are shaking. "Oliver look at your daughter! Look at what's happening! She's withering away and it only takes one travel, one time and she could end up like me!" I point to my legs. "… Or worse. I love you Oliver but I will not be the cause of my daughter's death!"

Oliver slumps down against the wall. He's torn between the two of us. But he doesn't have to be, I've already chosen.

Beatrix takes my hands. "Mom… please… just please okay? If you could only see what it's like. I don't want that future. I don't want dad to loose his spark…"

I swallow hard. "… A shot to the chest."

"Thank-you." She breaths and then disappears.

(July 13, 2056 Lily: 43, Oliver: 65 and Beatrix: 30)

LILY: I was eating breakfast with Oliver just a minute ago. He was poking at his eggs and I was buttering my toast. Now I'm in a place I've never seen before. The floor is cool and there are many windows.

"Beatrix! I'm sorry okay! I mean I know I've really screwed things up but you mean the world to me. And if I have to wait years and years for you to go back to the girl I once knew then so be it!"

I look up and see a very unfamiliar face. He looks very surprised and lets out an "Oh…"

"Hello I'm Lily." I say. "Could I have some clothes?"

"Mrs. Oken! Shit! I mean shoot! I'm so sorry I thought you were… well that doesn't matter!"

This man is very clumsy and unsure. He runs out of the room and comes back seconds later and throws me a shirt, and matching shorts. He turns around. I slip into the shirt with ease.

"I need some assistance."

He looks at me and I imagine a question mark forming above his head like a cartoon. "I need you to help me put these on." I hold out the shorts.

Timidly the man picks me up and places me in a chair. He slowly picks up my legs and slides them into the shorts. I know this is embarrassing for him. "Thank-you." I say once we're done. He nods and backs away

"I'm sorry but who are you?" I ask looking around the room. It's full of paintings. The windows are all open and it smells like rain is coming. The walls are white but the pictures of flowers and people bring full and vivid colors.

"I'm Robert." He says bashfully looking down. Mr. Ryan you grew up nicely. He has long shaggy blond hair and dark eyes (Miley's eyes.) His shoulders are broad and I can tell he has broken a few hearts in the past.

But his shyness, as always, throws me back. He adjusts his small brown wire glasses. The glasses are new but add so much to his long square face. He has stubble growing on his chin and upper lip.

"I'm sorry you look so much like Bee I just… well umm…" He fumbles over his words and plays with his hands which are covered in paint. I'm not sure what it is about him that draws me in. Maybe it's his jeans and white t-shirt that have dried crusting paint over them, much like his hands, or his soft eyes.

I like him, good job Beatrix. "It's okay Robert. Where is Bee anyway? You two have a fight?"

He nods. "We have been fighting a lot lately."

"About what?" I have a pretty good idea but I want to hear him say it.

Robert hunches over and walks back to his latest painting. "It's nothing really… you shouldn't be bothered with it."

I crane my neck to see the picture. The painting is of a small house, it looks a lot like my house. "You can tell me Robert… did you remember me at all?"

He nods. "Of course, who could ever forget you?"

"Is this the first time your seeing me while traveling?"

"Third."

He picks up the brush and begins adding small pink flowers to the grass. "Will you tell me what you guys are arguing about?"

"…You." He whispers. Robert turns around and looks at me. "I just want to see my wife happy again. I can't remember the last time we talked or laughed like we use to. It's not your fault Mrs. Oken… she just… I mean I want you back too! But it's tearing us apart.

I put my hand up to silence him. "It's alright."

He shakes his head. "No, it's not. Beatrix could be healed! Cindy found a cure for her from her genes! At first Bee was going to give the medicine to you. She was going to tell Cindy the information but then it came to our attention that it could only work for Beatrix. That was the first time she really broke down."

I shudder; I really don't want to hear this. I close my eyes and think of my Bumble Bee in my time. She likes coloring and reading. She loves the beach on rainy days and enjoys making sand castles with Oliver.

"And now Beatrix's is trying to save you again! Because she believes there is a way. There's always something new! Well I'm tired…" Robert throws his paintbrush across the room and hangs his head. "I wanted children… I want the old Beatrix, the woman I fell in love with."

I don't know what to say. It's all my fault. "I'm sorry Robert. I never meant for this to happen."

"It's not your fault. You loved us. You gave us your blessing at our wedding. I just wish things were different."

"You and me both Ryan…. Have you tired talking with Oliver? I mean he went through all of this with me maybe he could help?"

Robert shrugs and wipes a tear away quickly. "I've spoken with him but… he's so distant. Mr. Oken is one of the main reasons she wants to get you back. She wants her dad to be happy."

Ooh that one hurt. Oliver, what has become of him these days? "How is he?" I ask softly.

"Worn out." Robert sighs.

"Fuck." I hiss clenching my fists together. Suddenly I need to smash something, hit someone, or scream. I've fucked everything up! Oliver is weary and Beatrix is mad. "I feel like… like such an asshole."

"Why?"

"It's because of me. I should have just stayed away. I should have never told anyone about my problems…" I shake my head and stare down.

"Mrs. Oken! No!"

"Jesus Christ kid, call me Lily."

"Lily no, listen to me, this is life. You love Oliver and Beatrix right?" Robert is standing in front of me and crouching down.

"More then anything." I sigh not meeting his eyes.

"And you deserve happiness." His voice is stern and heavy, so this is what Beatrix sees.

"I'm not sure anymore."

"Of course you do! Everyone does I don't care what you _might _think because you are a wonderful person. And I think…" Robert stops and turns and looks out the window, it's beginning to rain.

I look out at the rain with him. "Don't doubt yourself." He whispers to me still looking at the rain.

"I could say the same about you." I tell him watching his slow movements. His hand in his hair, his mouth twitching. "Robert?"

"Lily? Do you think she still even wants me?"

I take a good look at him. "Yes."

"But you don't know what I've done, the things I've said. I just want her to be happy. Is that so bad? I mean she's dying…"

"It doesn't matter. She loves you, this I know to be true. She is like me. And she's scared and unsure. You just have to trust her. When she cries hold her and promise simple things: coffee in the morning, clothes on her back, and love."

"Thank-you Lily."

"Tell Oliver I love him." My stomach is starting to twist. "Tell him to take early morning walks, because those are my favorite. And tell Beatrix to take that medicine, oh and I love her."

I kiss Robert's forehead and leave him.

(January 3, 2035 Oliver/Lily: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

OLIVER: Drip… Drip… Drip… The sink needs to be fixed. The heat is on. It was cold today. I'm sitting at the kitchen table. Beatrix is out with Jake and the kids. My head is in my hands. I'm still in my pajamas.

Miley isn't talking. She is sitting in _her _seat. I don't like Miley there. I don't like Miley here either. I want to be alone.

"Oliver?" She reaches for me. I pull back quickly as if I've been burned.

"Don't _touch _me!" I hiss wildly. I'm standing now. The house is dark. Miley sits back in her seat, defeated and sad. I don't care.

"I think we should talk about this. We need a date Oliver."

"Shut-up!"

"Fuck you Oliver! You sit here thinking you're the only one who deserves to be upset, or angry or heartbroken! Well guess again! I'm feeling it too! She was my _best _friend! My only friend! And she's dead!"

"SHUT-UP! Don't say that! Don't talk about her! You don't know anything!" I'm fuming. My chest is heaving up and down.

"Of course I do! I have memories of her that you will _never _have!" Miley snarls nastily. "I want her back just as much as you do! But maybe you've been too busy drinking and lying around to even notice that! Or the fact that your daughter is dying inside! Wake up!"

Miley glares at me. I have nothing to say. My mouth is dry and my head is spinning. Angry is bursting through my veins. It poisons my blood and I want a release. I take the side of the small wooden table and fling it over.

The table makes a horrible loud crack as it hits the tile floor. It feels good to slam something. I pace around the kitchen. Miley sits very still, a single tear sliding down her cheek.

_Thump!_

"Lily…" I whisper. I run into the living and there she is. "Lily!" I cry out. She sits herself up and looks for her wheelchair.

"Hey Ollie just thought I'd drop in." She smiles humorously. I feel myself break in front of her. I gather her up in my arms and hold her close. I cry loudly in her hair and she rubs my back. No talking, no discussing, she already knows…

She feels so good, she smells like home. "Lily! Lily! God oh God."

I feel her shake her head on my shoulder. I pull back; I want to see her face. Her blue eyes scan mine and I lean in and kiss her. What do her lips taste like? … Oh strawberries. I'm hungry for her. I want her to stay. I'm pulling at her and demanding too much. My lips are hard on hers and I don't wait for an entrance before thrusting my tongue into her mouth.

She pulls away for a moment. And kisses away the tears on my cheeks. She shakes her head again. "Forgive me?" She whispers.

"There is nothing to forgive… nothing."

And then I' am holding nothing…

…..

**Author's Note: **Good grief! It took me forever to get back into the groove of writing. My favorite scene to write was Miley's tiny speech at the end. I got a kick out of that. I felt obligated to bring her back.

_Julx27xluvsxHM: _I'm very sorry I never saw that SAVE LILY campaign so sure, what the hell! Everyone join! Just remember it's all up to me… (Evil laugh.)

You guys keep reading and I'll keep writing, umkay? Leave your thoughts.


	27. Call Me Goat

**Author's Note: **Three hours, two cans of Mountain Dew, and a quick jog around my block later and here is the next addition. I'm in a very good mood and totally jazzed. So here is some Lily/Oliver fun.

_Lily: _Hi! Oh, it's so good to hear from you again. I had thought you were avoiding me for almost killing you (twice) and making you loose all the feeling in your legs. But I suppose you are being the better person and coming back to say 'hello.' (No hard feelings then right?)

I should have come with you guys. The carnival sounded like fun. Tell Ollie no worries about his shoes because I, being your brilliant writer pal, will write new shoes into the story for him. Also I would love to come to Beatrix's play. She really is a good actress. If you happen to see _CraftyNotePad _anywhere tell her I said hey.

Also, I did follow that whole "butterfly" thing you were talking about. Silly of me really, to neglect that. I will try my best to straighten all of that out. Time travel is so confusing, as I'm sure you understand. Sorry about Robert, but blame it on me, the absent minded writer. I forgot about bathrobes… odd really because I usually have you dressed in those all the time.

But tell our good friend _CraftyNotePad _this as well: We all might enjoy the ending I have cooked up. (Wink, wink.)

**Music: **Cake- Sheep go to Heaven, Love You Madly, Stickshifts and Safetybelts, Comfort Eagle. (Did I mention I like Cake?) And Schuyler Fisk- Paperweight.

…..

(November 19, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

OLIVER: "I'm not feelin' alright today! I'm not feelin' that great!"

I can hear Lily singing along with Cake in the bathroom. The door is closed so I can't see her swinging her head around. I'm lying on the bed, sunbathing. Beatrix is sitting across from me on the edge of the bed.

She is painting her toenails green. "You like this color?" She asks. I look over at her and then at her toes.

"Their pretty spiffy." I smile as she giggles and continues painting. The bathroom door opens and Lily rolls out, her hair is down and a little frizzy.

"Damn blow drier." She mutters going over to the drawer and pulling out a headband and shoving it in her hair. "Do I look ok Oliver?" She frowns.

"You look beautiful." I assure her but she just shakes her head. I shrug and watch Beatrix as she blows on her feet. I sit up from the bed and stretch.

"What do you pretty ladies want for breakfast?" I yawn.

"Eggs!" Beatrix cheers.

"Same for me!" Lily smiles, digging through the dirty clothes basket. I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Lily? What are you doing?"

"I left something in my pants pocket yesterday. It was my list of books I want Miley to get for me… arrh! Where is it?!"

"Come on Bumble Bee lets go make some eggs." I wave at Beatrix, beckoning her to follow me. She jumps up from the bed and walks with her toes spread far apart so the nail polish won't smear.

I pull out a black pan from the bottom cabinet and take our four eggs from the fridge. Beatrix gets out the orange juice and cups. I hear Lily calling me as I move the sizzling eggs around the pan.

I turn off the stove and run back up the stairs. Lily is waiting by the top of the steps. I lift her up and we walk down together. We have two wheelchairs now, one for upstairs and another for down. We're so smart, so practical.

I put Lily in her usual seat and we eat. I make coffee and Beatrix hums a song I don't know, something popular. Jake calls later on and asks if we want to go out tonight. I check with Lily and she's in good sprits so we're going.

LILY: I've been gaining weight. For once in my life that's a very good thing. Oliver often tells me I have a healthier glow about me these days. I'm even getting a littler darker. I'm no longer sickly and pale. Go me!

The Ryan's have asked us out tonight and I'm a little excited. We're going over to their house for dinner. Jake is cooking so I told Oliver and Beatrix we're going to eat before going to their house. Jake's a great guy… he just can't cook worth a darn, not like my Ollie.

Oliver is putting a CD into the stereo. Beatrix has run upstairs to get dressed already. I wait as the music starts. It's our old Cake album.

"I heard you singing it in the bathroom today." Oliver smiles turning up the beat.

"I was in a Cakey kind of mood." I smirk twirling a strand of my hair in between my fingers.

"Really?" Oliver grins placing each of his hands on either side of my chair. He leans down and we kiss. My hands find their way around his neck. Oliver taste like coffee, black coffee. His hands are on my cheeks and then at my hips.

He pulls back, "What are you thinking about?" He asks, breathless.

"December 5, 2009." I smile, playing with his hair.

(December 5, 2009 Oliver and Lily: 18)

OLIVER: "How can you two stand to listen to them?!" Miley whines while shaking her head.

"Come on Miley! I'm allowed to like all kinds of different music. Besides, you're always going to be my favorite." Lily smiles sweetly towards Miley.

"Well what do you think Lily?" I ask holding out the two tickets. She squeals and jumps into my arms.

"You're the best Ollie! I can't believe you got Cake tickets! Am I lucky or what?!" She kisses me and I blush, I never liked public displays. We walk over to the lunch table. I put the tickets in my back pocket.

For the rest of the afternoon Lily and I walk arm in arm humming, Comfort Eagle. Every so often we'll stop and turn to one another and point and say, "DUDE!" Miley, being a good friend, puts up with us. But it's during our little Cake dance that she finally snaps.

"THAT'S IT!"

Lily and I stop dead in our tracks. We're walking home from school and Miley is planning a study party at her house. But by the way she is glaring at us she might be rethinking the afternoon.

"Please spare me." She begs. "I don't even like these guys and after today I already know the words." She tells us tying her hair up into a bun.

"Sorry Miley." Lily giggles.

"Yeah sorry Miles…" I smile. "Oh! Lily I'll pick you up around six okay? The concert starts at seven and I want to get good spots."

She nods and waves me off as she and Miley head to Miley's house to do girly stuff. I walk home with a smile. Now, the only problem is if Lily disappears. But, I have a very good feeling about tonight.

I pick Lily up and she is dressed to impress. She's wearing less baggy pants then usual, they are tight and hug her curves nicely. Her hair is curled and I have to fight the urge to run my fingers through it.

She's wearing a bit more make-up then this morning, but that's just fine. Her top is blue and I see so much more of Lily in it. Ooh Cake here we come!

The parking lot is packed when we get there. I settle for a space in a whole different area. We'll have to walk a bit but, who really cares? We link arms and run to get in line. She places her head on my shoulder and snuggles up to my neck. I kiss her head and we wait to be ticketed.

I hand a very scruffy and pissed looking man our tickets. He is wearing a black shirt with the word: SECERITY written in white. We walk inside. The ceiling is set up high and there are stands with food and merchandise.

I promise Lily we'll get T-shirts during the intermission. We reach the theater and I find us a place close to exit, just in case Lily decides on a disappearing act. I shed my jacket and Lily ruffles up my shaggy hair.

I roll my eyes at her but she just laughs. Minutes later the theater is packed. A group of kids sit next to us. There are four of them, all couples. Two have Cake t-shirts with the pink pig on the front.

The stage is dark. I check my watch and look at Lily she is standing still and glancing in all directions. She's taking it all in. Suddenly bright light aluminates the stage, John McCrea walks up to the mic.

"Greetings we are Cake. We are here to serve you. Thank-you for coming to our music show." He says. And then they start up a few funky cords and volia! It's Love You Madly.

"Dance with me!" Lily shouts over the screams and trippy trumpet. I take her hand and lead her out to the mosh pit. But this is Cake- no moshing. Head banging and belting out each word- yes.

(_"I want to love you madly! I want to love you now!"_)

I twirl Lily around and then pull her to me. We sway back and forth with other couples and we bob our heads to the beat.

(_"When I kiss your lips I want to sink down to the bottom of the sea!"_)

Lily and I have never been great dancers, try as we might it never matters, we're the worst. But having a pretty blond pressed up against you during a long wild trumpet solo never hurt…

(_"__I don't want to think back to the one thing that I know I should have done!"_)

During a personal favorite of mine (Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps) I hear Lily swear. We are standing back by our seats. She sits down and puts her head between her legs. "Shit… shit… shit… not now…"

"Lily?" I say bending down to her. "Do we need to go?"

She nods her head, still looking down."Come on." I pick her up and help her out of the theater. I can still hear John's voice from outside. We walk together and into the bathrooms… the girl's bathrooms.

I set Lily down on the counter. She breathes in and out through her nose. I'm getting a little jumpy. My hands start shaking. But I have to come across cool and composed. If I'm not calm then neither will Lily.

I put my hand on her hand. She opens her eyes and smiles. "I think I-"

And she's gone. Her clothes pile on the sink. My mind goes into overdrive. I can't handle this! What am I suppose to do? Wait?

I look down, my shoe is untied. I bend down and fix it. As I'm standing back up there is a loud crash from behind one of the stalls.

"Lily!"

"Oliver!"

I knock on the green colored stall. "Could you give me my clothes Ollie?" I slide over and pick up her clothes. I stand on my tip toes and I see Lily's hand reach up over the stall. I hand over her jeans, shirt, underwear, and bra. I blush at the last two items but I let it slide. I can't imagine what Lily is thinking.

She comes out and smiles at me. Her hair is a little firzzier then before and strighter and her face is flushed.

"What'd I miss?" She asks running a finger through her hair.

"Their playing Nugget." I say.

"Damn, that's a good one." She grumbles walking over to the sink and washing her hands.

"Where'd you go?" I'm suddenly intrigued now that she is back and safe. I hear her laugh and a smile curves across her face as she digs into her small purse. She pulls out her ruby red lipstick (my favorite) and spreads it on.

"I was with you." She answers putting away the tube and turning to me. She kisses my cheek. I look in the mirror and see her lips inprinted on my skin. I smile and gently brush my fingertips over the marking.

Ever since I had sex for the first time with older Lily it's been a little hard concentrating. I catch myself watching her hips swing back and forth down the hallways. And when she kisses me my mind flahes to that fateful November afternoon. It's frustrating knowing how good it's going to be. How special.

"You comin' Ollie?"

I jerk my head back to Lily who is standing in the doorway of the bathroom. I nod and walk over to her. We link hands together and walk back to the concert.

(November 19, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

LILY: I hate Jake Ryan. I told Beatrix a million times not to eat that soup, but she was still hungry. And it dosen't matter because it's all stupid movie star Jake Ryan's fault for making my kid sick.

Oliver is on his hands and knees scrubbing the bathroom floor. Beatrix couldn't hold it in long enough to actually puke in the toliet. She is whimpering in my lap. Her eyes are red and tired, it's around four in the morning.

I'm so beat, I know at any minute I'm going to just pass out. I feel bad for Oliver. If I could I would help him, but I can't so I'm cuddling little Bee. The evening, for the most part, was very eventful. Miley and I chatted and laughed with the boys.

The kids watced TV and put in a movie or two. It wasn't until we got home that Beatrix mentioned she wasn't feeling very well. I curse the next day I ever let Jake near a stove again!

"There." Oliver sighs standing and wiping his hands in his dirty T-shirt. "I think we're good… how are you feeling Bee?"

Beatrix shrugs. "I'm tired." She mumbles. I feel her forehead with my cool hand. She feels warm, but not as hot as before. Oliver picks her up and I follow slowly rolling behind them.

We kiss her goodnight and shut off the lights. But like Oliver, Beatrix likes her nightlight. I flick it on and we head off to bed ourselves. Oliver helps me into my pajamas and I watch him undress. How is it that Oliver stays so sexy?

We curl up next to one another and I listen intently to his heartbeat. He rubs my back and I feel the shivers from years ago. "Night." He yawns. I kiss his cheek and we're gone, back to dreamland…

(December 1, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

LILY: It amazes me. Now, Oliver in general flat out blows my mind but we haven't made love since my accident. I've always had too much pent up sexual energy, which is very guy like. But Oliver hasn't prolonged any kisses or hinted in _that way_ in a long while. It's starting to bug me.

I'm getting a bad, bad itch for my Ollie. Maybe he's scared, maybe he doesn't find me attractive anymore… I highly doubt that. When we are together in bed, just before we fall alseep. He looks at me like no one else ever has. It makes me feel eighteen again. It makes me blush like mad.

I've tried leading him on. Little things, tiny things. Some days when Beatrix is out with a friend I'll corner Oliver in the living room, or kitchen. I'll kiss him hard, and fast. I'm being very obvious. What more does he want?!

OLIVER: Lily has finally gone mad. I know what she wants but… I'm afraid. I don't know how to handle her anymore. What if something goes wrong and I hurt her, or well what about her legs? I'd rather just leave it alone, no matter how much I want to pin her down.

Its late afternoon, Lily is reading on the couch and I'm not going into work today. I've let Roger, one of my co-workers, be in charge today. I've been tired lately. I don't feel like reading anything.

I've already made dinner; all that's left is to heat up the meatloaf. Beatrix is at another piano practice and I don't have to pick her up this time. Miley's taking care of everything.

I curl up with two of our couch pillows and try taking a nap. Closing my eyes feels good. I've been having more nightmares, every time I close my eyes she's there, leaving me, or worse, dying. What more is there for us to do?

Doctor Brown isn't any help, we've told older Beatrix, now what? The questions run wild, but answers are even harder. Everything loops back together like one big circle. I feel like a dog chasing his tail. I sit up, sleeping is impossible.

Lily, somehow maneuvered her way back into her chair, and is at the kitchen table. The old long white paper from years passed is spread out. Looking over old dates, Lily sits hunched over with a pen.

"What're you up to?" I ask scratching my ear and walking over to her.

"I want to know if older Beatrix does happen to save me, won't there just be another death awaiting me after this one?"

I sit down and look over the two other dates that are circled. "Those two use to be my D-Day but now their not. I'm not getting it." Lily confuses scribbling something out.

"Well what if Beatrix saved you. Because she time traveled to you here." I point to the date, November 22, 2033. "And since you didn't take the new medicine Doctor Brown proscribed for you, then you're not going to die on December 3, 2034… which is in a few days." Seeing that makes me shiver.

"I know!" Lily grips. "I just don't understand October 27, 1995! How did she save me? What is Beatrix not telling us? Wait! What if she doesn't remember! What if it never happened! Oh my God how could I be so stupid?"

I watch her shake her head and frown. "Lily?"

"When you change one thing in the present it changes everything in the past and flips the future. If Beatrix saved me from that drug then she went back to a different present. Her whole life changed because I didn't die then."

"What about October 27th then?" I ask looking over the paper.

"Maybe it never really happened." Lily thinks biting her lip. "Maybe I just thought it was me because, hello, naked blond woman." Lily stops and stares down, she's in deep thought. "Or, then again, Beatrix saved me. I don't know and I don't see how we can ever know. But," She takes a big red marker and x's out the two D-Day dates. "These are never going to happen."

"Well what about now?" I think out loud. "If Beatrix can save you this time, what next?"

"I'm not sure; Beatrix always told me this was the last one. If I could beat this I've beaten death… but I find that high unlikely."

We sit in silence. I would like to think this is it. That if Beatrix saves Lily now it will all be over. What a pretty thought.

Lily throws her pen across the table and sits back. Her whole face is frowning. "I'm so lost Oliver."

I put my arm around her and let her head fall on my shoulder. "I'll throw you a rope."

"Tie it around me?" She asks.

"And bring you home." I finish, kissing her cheek. She leans up and stares at me. I keep my face close to hers. Her blue eyes look dead in the kitchen lights. I run a finger down her jaw line and watch her body shiver. What am I doing?

Lily kisses me. Her lips are so familiar but I've forgotten how good they can taste. My mind blurs and all I can feel, taste, see are her dark red lips. I remember how good this can be. I let my hands wander up her shirt.

"Please…" Lily breathes against my mouth. I pull back, fast.

"No." I state weakly.

"What are you afraid of? Me?" She wonders aloud. I shrug my shoulders and look around the room.

"Maybe." I answer.

"Don't be." She tells me cupping my face in her warm hands. "I want this… don't you?"

And then we are kissing. I don't know who leaned in first or whose lips touched whose first. It doesn't matter.

Lily is so light and easy to handle. I pick her up with ease. We stop kissing and I bring us upstairs. We never lost eye contact. Laying her on the bed I watch her hair spread out against the pillows.

Her leg's lay dead and cold. I clear my throat. I'm rethinking this. She takes control of the situation and pulls me to her. And then there's nothing to fear. It's only Lily, the girl I've known my whole life. The girl I'm madly in love with.

LILY: Oliver has his head on my chest. I'm running my fingers through his messy mop of brown hair. Oliver was always the right distraction I needed. I don't want to think about the paper sitting on the kitchen table. Or the lost dates. Or time. I hate time. Lying with Oliver has no time. We free ourselves from the hold, from the tension.

I hear the front door open. Miley and Beatrix's voices fill the house. "Lily? Oliver?" "Mommy? Daddy?" And then time chokes me.

…..

**Author's Note: **This is getting very confusing, even for me. I'm trying my best for everything to be clear but in writing that scene with Lily and Oliver about time travel I think I went a little crazy in my own head. This is where the headaches come in. Anyway I hope your still enjoying everything. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions please feel free to voice them.

Leave your thoughts...


	28. Stay Here

**Author's Note:** Although I'm deathly ill I'm still determined to keep this story going so here is the next chapter. I'll just have to keep some cough drops and tissues close by. So here's to you, my fellow readers! Enjoy! (Because I sure did.)

**Music: **Sigur Ros- Staralfur (these guys are totally groovy.) Yo Yo Ma- Gabriel's Oboe Cello and Piano. (I have almost all of his CD's and he gets me every time.)

(December 20, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

OLIVER: I can feel it building. My stomach jerks and I lean forward and moan. Lily is still sleeping. I'm in the bathroom clutching the toilet for dear life. This anxiety of when and how is taking its toll on me.

I have a terrible taste in my mouth. I've been up for more then thirty minutes spiting and groaning. I can't take this anymore. As I feel it rise in my throat I open my mouth and release all of my uncertainty.

"Oliver?"

I wipe my mouth and feel my nose running. "Go…" I breathe in and let it out. "Back to bed." I can hear her grunting as she moves her weight into the chair. I sigh as I hear her wheelchair roll up next to me.

I feel her small hand on my back. She rubs me softly. "This has been happening a lot lately… don't tell me, you're pregnant." She jokes quietly.

I flush the toilet and lean back against the wall. "I've just been preoccupied lately."

"With what?" She asks, hands in her lap and staring at me with her doe eyes.

"Just stuff."

She leans close and puts her hand to my sweaty forehead. "You're burning up. Back to bed with you mister." She tries to help me up as best as she can, but in the end it's all up to me.

I feel very dizzy as I wobble and shake, like an uncooked noodle, back to bed. I collapse and watch Lily roll over to her dresser. She pulls out her clothes, a vibrant orange sweater and blue jeans.

I close my eyes. I can hear the garbage truck backing up and picking up our neighbor's garbage. I watched the weather last night it's going to be very cold today. Beatrix is out of school for two weeks. She's very excited.

I pull a pillow over onto my stomach and hold it there for comfort. I hear Lily hunting and pecking through the medicine cabinet. "Take these." She says as I open my eyes. I pick up the two pills and place them on my tongue.

I swallow with no water and it hurts, stupid of me, I should have just waited for some nice cool water. I feel a headache approaching. I rub my temples and feel the wetness of my skin; it's oily and not clean. I need a shower.

She takes my hand and holds it safely between hers. "All will come together." Lily tells me before rolling out of the room. I wait and then I hear Lily and Beatrix gabbing about the up coming holiday.

"I want an art set! Just like Robert!" Beatrix gushes. I hear Lily laugh, it's so light.

"We'll see Bumble Bee."

… We'll see. Whatever the outcome. We'll see…

(July 18, 1995 Lily: 4 and 43, Oliver: 4)

LILY: I'm hiding behind a large tree wearing a sport's jacket watching me and Oliver play tag in his backyard. It's a gorgeous day outside. The heat is bearable and the sky is filled with beautiful white clouds, all puffy and white.

Oliver is laughing as he jogs away from my out stretched hands. "I'm going to get you!" I cheer.

"Never!" Oliver laughs to me as he picks up his pace.

We had a wonderful childhood. Others weren't as fortunate to grow up beside their future lover. Because Oliver will always be my best friend first and foremost. He is my helping hand, my rock.

But those days are only just beginning for the me in this time. She knows not of tragedy or pain. Oliver and I share our innocents in here. We explore the world with open eyes and willing smiles.

I won't take that away from her. I will not be the one to come in and steal the joy. I will not trade these memories. Now, Oliver and I collapse onto the ground and we begin making grass angles.

I feel the wet grass on my legs as I sit holding onto the tree's trunk for support. I look content here. My face is sunburned and red and a huge smile is present on my lips. I close my eyes. I feel myself leaving.

Right before I'm gone I can hear his laugh. So gentle, so carefree. Kiss, kiss Ollie.

(December 20, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

LILY: I reach for Oliver's hand from across the table. Beatrix is taking a long sip from her glass of juice. We are eating green peppers. But, I'm not very hungry. He finds my hand and rubs a circle around my palm.

I take a sip from my ice water and let one of the smaller ice cubs slide down my throat. "How was your day Bee?" I ask her as she pokes at her dinner.

"Fun! I drew a picture of an elephant! I'll show you guys later if you want?" She smiles a toothy grin.

"After dinner before I put you to bed we'll take a look." Oliver assures her.

"And then we'll put it on the fridge!" I suggest ruffling her hair.

"Yes!" Beatrix shouts. "To the fridge!"

Oliver and I share a secret smile and then dinner is over. Beatrix is in the living room flipping through old picture books. I'm sitting in my chair watching Oliver wash the dishes. He's drying the pan that the green peppers were cooked in when he sees me staring.

"What is it?" He asks sitting down the white pan and reaching for my blue dish in the sink.

"Nothing." I smile shaking my head. "… Let's have a party."

"What?" Oliver laughs setting the soap down and looking at me like I'm crazy.

"A party!" Beatrix shouts from the living. "Yes! Let's do it!"

Oliver sighs; he can't win now that Beatrix has heard. "A New Year's party?"

"What else?" I snort rolling over to him.

Oliver looks from me to Beatrix with a sad expression on his face. "… Fine."

"Yes!" Beatrix and I cheer together.

"We'll invite everyone!" I tell Oliver. He raises an eyebrow at me.

"Everyone?" He says smirking.

"Everyone we _like._" I correct in good sprits.

(December 31, 2034 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

OLIVER: Lily and Beatrix are in the kitchen cleaning up after making cookies. The house is filled with the heavenly scent of chocolate chip cookies. We have chips and dip and vegetable trays set up on the coffee table.

There's pop set out in the kitchen with cups stacked up on the counter. A few streamers hang from the ceiling and a large sign up above the front door reads: _Happy New Year!_

I run up the stairs to take a quick shower. I brush my teeth and slip into my party clothes- white shirt with black sport's jacket and black slacks with a black tie.

I run my hand over my beard and glance in the mirror. When did my hair get so grey? I shrug and straighten my collar. I come out of the bathroom and jog downstairs

Lily's still wearing her cut off jean shorts and a stained green t-shirt. We've been cleaning all week long. Scrubbing the floors, hanging new curtains in the dining room, and dusting the entire house.

Beatrix is dressed in her blue velvet dress and whines about her white tights itching. "Hey Lily you should get ready." I tell her.

Lily smiles up at me. I take her upstairs and set her down gently in her extra wheelchair. "What do you want to wear?" I ask her looking through the closet.

"Oh, I don't know. You pick." She says moving over to the bedroom door. She closes it and turns back to the bed. "Come here."

I lift my head and watch as she puts the break on her wheelchair and maneuvers her body onto the bed. She pats my side of the bed.

I chuckle "There's no time for that."

"Please Ollie, we can make time." She answers wistfully. I flip the lock on the door and slowly make my way back to her. I lay down next to her and we open our arms and wrap ourselves together. As I'm pulling off her underwear the phrase: _One last time_, pops into my head…

The doorbell rings as I'm slipping into my jacket. Lily is running her fingers through her hair. "Do I look alright?" She asks hurriedly.

Lily is wearing a silky black dress. She is pink and lovely and I tell her so. She comes to me and kisses me and then I help her down the stairs.

LILY: Oliver is mingling with our guests. (My parents and his. The Ryan's and then Cindy and her clan. And a few of our older friends sprinkled about.) I bite into a carrot and scan the crowd. Jake is singing "Let it Snow" as he tickles Beatrix.

Miley comes from behind me and wheels me into the kitchen. I help put the Russian vodka into the freezer. I can hear Marty's booming voice as he enters the house. "Oh music boy!" He shouts at Oliver. "Where's my baby sister?"

"In here!" I call from the kitchen. Miley pours herself some grape pop and smiles. Marty comes running in with a shopping bag full of CD's.

"I thought you and that husband of yours would enjoy these." He drops the bag in my lap and I thank him.

"But seriously where did you get all of these? I mean look!" I hold up one of frou frou's older CD's.

Marty puts a finger to his lips. "Shh… now, now little one there's no need for questions." His eyes dart from me to Miley.

"Oh you're so full of it!" I laugh.

Marty grins. "Indeed."

"Where are Sherri and the boys?" I ask craning my neck around the doorway.

"Oh, the boys attacked Oliver when we walked in. And Sherri is pigging out on the chips in the living room."

"I thought she was on that diet?" I laugh at Marty.

"She decided to just screw it. And besides I think she looks great but it's not like anyone ever listens to me." He says picking up a can of sprite and then he leaves.

"My brother ladies and gentlemen!" I shout after him.

"Well, I think he's great." Miley says walking around the counter and sitting down in a kitchen chair next to me.

"So what's up buddy?" I ask moving my chair into a better position so I can see Miley.

"Well, business is still good. I received a new client the other day. She's going to be big I can feel it." Miley nods.

"Good, good. And as always I will be the first to receive a copy of her album when she goes big?" I ask wiggling my eyebrows.

"Well of course!" Miley giggles.

"Lily?"

Miley and I look up and I see Cindy looking a little out of place in my kitchen. "Oh hey come in." I wave to her.

"I'll see you later." Miley whispers getting up and leaving.

Cindy walks over and sits down. "Listen Lily, I'm well…"

"It's all good doc. I'm okay. There's nothing left to discuss." I confess to her sincerely. Cindy let's out a breath.

"You'll have to see what I'm working on for Beatrix." She says folding her hands together.

"Let's not talk shop alright? Just enjoy the party. Excuse me." I roll away. I want some fresh air. I sneak out the back and let the harsh December air hit me. It feels so good. I hear the back door open and close.

"Aha! Thought you could escape!" Miley smirks. She walks over and leans against the brick wall. I watch her carefully under the dim porch light. Her face might be old but her smile never ceases.

"Come on, it's cold out here let's get back inside." She offers.

"Nah, I'm hot. Just stay with me for awhile." I say rubbing my hands together. It's quiet for a moment and then I begin.

"Friend?"

"Yes." Miley answers, hoping a little to keep warm.

"I just want you to know…" This is so hard. "I want you to know that… that your friendship has meant everything to me."

"What's going on?" Miley asks nervously. "Lily?"

"It's time."

"But? But Lily, you're my best friend. I tell you everything. How can it just be… over?" Her voice is cracking and I look away from her. This is torture.

"I don't know, but Miley?"

"Yeah." She says; voice shaky.

"Will you take care of them for me? Oliver and Beatrix?" I look at Miley as she nods fiercely.

"Of course." She says sternly. "I love you Lily." She's crying now. I feel my own tears start as well.

"I love you too Miley… thank-you."

"For what?"

"For sharing so much with me. For trusting me with your secret and just for being my friend." I wipe my eyes and breathe out fast. Miley leans in quickly and wraps her arms around me. We hug closely.

OLIVER: I can't find Lily anywhere. As I'm turning the corner I bump into Cindy. "Oh, hey have you seen Lily anywhere?"

Cindy shakes her head. "I was with her a moment ago. She's out on the back porch. I'm really worried about her, she seems very sad Oliver… she reminds me of patients who know they won't be around much longer… I mean she told me she _loved _me."

My insides tighten and knot together. "Thanks." I say before running off. I walk out back and see Lily staring at the stars.

"Hey there…" I smile at her. Lily turns her head and gives me a pretty grin.

"Get over here handsome." She sniffs, rubbing her nose.

"It's cold. I don't want you to get sick." I walk over to her and sit down in one of the lawn chair.

"It's so beautiful tonight. Don't you think so?" Lily sighs.

"I suppose…" I say uncertain. I run a finger through her hair. "Lily?"

"I'm leaving…" She says quickly.

"Huh?"

"Game over Oliver." Her voice is very tight.

"Lily." I reach for her hands and turn her to face me completely. "Just stop. Don't, just stop it."

"I can't." Lily whimpers and then she breaks. She cries softly. I pull her to look up at me, pushing away her curtain of hair.

"Why did we invite people? Why are we having this party?" I ask quietly.

"I don't want you to be alone afterwards." Lily sniffs loudly. I lift her from her wheelchair and bring her into my lap. I cradle her and she wraps her arms around my neck and we sit knitted together.

"But what about Beatrix saving you? Can't she do something?" I say hastily.

"I don't know. We have to wait… I just don't know Oliver." Lily is shaking. Her forehead is sweaty and burning.

"What time is it?" She questions. I look down at my watch.

"Almost midnight." I answer holding her even tighter, squeezing her. Lily barriers her head in my chest and whispers.

"I'm so scared… Kiss me."

I' am kissing Lily and it hurts. How can she leave? She is _here_! My best friend! My lover! She is solid and real. How can she possibly disappear? Don't go! And then my arms fall down. She's left me again.

Inside everyone sings out the count down. "Happy New Year!" They cry happily. I hear a champagne cork pop. Fireworks shoot off. The world rejoices. I put my head in my hands and wait.

(October 27, 1992 Lily: 43)

LILY: The grass is so cold on my back. I try and lift myself up. Dawn is breaking a fog is setting over the small woods. I breathe in and close my eyes. I sit up slowly and take in my surroundings. I'm in front of a bush.

It's very chilly this morning and I'm wet with the morning dew. I want Oliver. I need Oliver. I still have tears in my eyes. I hear rustling from far ahead. Beatrix? I open my mouth to call out to someone but then something hard hits me.

I fall back. A body in lying on top of me, breathing hard and fast. I hear a shot ring out in the open. I hear a sigh of relief. The other body rolls over.

"Hi mom."

"Beatrix?"

She is much older now. Her hair is shorter and sticks to her sweaty forehead. She laughs and I stare at her confused.

"What's going on?" I ask still lying down.

"I just saved you…" She smiles and a new light brightening up her eyes. "Oh mom…" She breaths. "I love you."

"Beatrix?"

"A shot to the chest you said. Well, hunting season. They thought we were a deer." She confesses.

"So what kind of a life are you going to now?" I ask.

Beatrix laughs. "I have no idea." And then she twists up clutching her stomach. "I need to go…" She says between her teeth.

"Okay." I say a little shaky and lost.

"Everything's going to be fine…" Beatrix tells me before pop! She's gone. I lay for a moment before I myself disappear.

(January 1, 2035 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

LILY: I'm lying on the floor; all of our party guests stop dead and stare at me. I turn over to hide myself. Miley, stunned, throws me a coat. I can't breathe. The air has been knocked out of me.

"Oliver?" I choke out.

"Oliver!" Miley screams. And then he is here! Oliver runs to my side and scans my body. There is no blood, no gun wound… I'm here and well.

"Lily?" He questions a small smile peeking its way through his worried stare.

"It's okay… she… she got me." I say, completely shocked. And then I laugh. I can't control it I laugh and press my lips against Oliver's. We are kissing and laughing and I taste Oliver's salty tears… But then the thought crawls its way to the surface. What now? What's next?

I pull away from Oliver and search for Jake. "Jake?"

He lifts his head.

"Was another me here anywhere?"

He shakes his head. "No… why do you ask?"

"No reason."

Oliver lifts me up and takes me back to our bedroom. He is holding me securely and safely. When we reach the room he seats me down on the bed and gazes at me with a wondrous smile.

"How?"

"Beyond me." I answer.

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"This is crazy."

"I know…" I sigh. And then Oliver walks over and reaches into the dresser and pulls out another outfit for me and I get dressed slowly. Oliver kisses my shoulders and runs his hands down my neck. I'm here. I'm here.

(January 5, 2035 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

OLIVER: I'm pressed against Lily as we lay in bed. Since the scare of her near death experience it's been very difficult for me not always to be touching her or standing very close by. I want to be insured that this is over.

I kiss her forehead and she stirs. Her eyes open and I smile. "Morning." She yawns. I kiss her chin and nuzzle her neck.

"But I don't want to go!" Beatrix cries as I grab her backpack.

"Come on Bee you've got to go to school today." I say, angry at long this is taking. "I thought you loved school?"

"No! Not anymore! I need to stay with Mommy!" She jerks away from me and runs to Lily. "Don't go anywhere!" Beatrix moans in Lily's stomach as she clings to her.

Lily rubs her back and shushes her and whisper comforting words to Beatrix. I can't hear them but Beatrix raises her head and smiles. She kisses Lily's cheek and then runs out the front door.

"How do you do that?" I ask, amazed.

"Please, it's me you're talking to." She smirks, confidently.

"Oh, yes, least we forget." I mock bowing down to her.

"Come on Daddy!" Bee shouts from outside.

I quickly kiss Lily and then Beatrix and I are off.

LILY: I watch them leave from the window. Once the car turns the corner and I can longer see I roll back to the kitchen. I chew slowly on my poptart form earlier. Then I pour the last of the coffee into my red cup and sip it leisurely.

I sit still and look out at the frost on the grass and rooftops. The sun is just now slowly poking its sleeping rays up and out from the tree branches. I set my coffee mug on the table and fold my hands together.

I haven't time traveled since my last death scare. But what haunts me is that it felt so real. I was near death, unlike the other times. I could feel myself slipping. And now what? Oliver is more jumpy then before. He's always with me. Always holding my hand or standing close enough for me to reach out and touch him.

I wonder if- The phones rings. I quickly roll myself over to the cordless phone by the way and pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Lily! Lily, come down to my office immediately!"

"Doctor Brown?"

"Yes, yes it's me now hurry."

Click. Silence. I look around the room. Well, this is just great. The front door opens and I hear Oliver shedding his coat.

"Not so fast! You're taking me to Cindy!" I tell him.

"What?"

We arrive at Cindy's office in record time. Oliver pushes me through the door and Cindy is pacing back and fourth looking exhausted but hopeful.

"We misplaced one of the mice." Cindy states, smiling at me.

"The time traveling mice?" Oliver says taking a seat next to me.

"Yes. One of my dimwitted partners was in charge of calculating the mice. But he miscounted!"

"What does this mean?" I ask.

"Most of the mice died within two months of the experiment after injecting your mutation, time travel, into their system." Cindy tells us while opening up my old folder. She takes a breath and then adds, "But when we found #3 sitting in her cage a few days ago, I was started. So I went back through the files on this mouse. And I came to a conclusion: Why not 'sweat' this problem out of you."

Cindy stops now and laughs. "I thought I had it all worked out. It would be like doctors giving patients more of their illness to, as I said before, sweat the fever out. And it works, most of the time. And I was going to call you in to try it. But I decided experimenting on #3 first. And apparently it was too much for her. Time literally killed her. She moved through different time periods too fast and it wore her out."

I put my hand up to stop Cindy. "Get to the point. What does this have to do with anything?"

Doctor Brown grins. "That's when Beatrix's lab results came in. Now, the reason none of my ideas worked on you Lily was because of your age. But Beatrix has a very good change. So then it hit me! Why not just give you some of Beatrix's genes. They are, after all, your same genes. You gave your daughter the exact mutation that you yourself have. So it would be like getting something from you at a younger age."

Oliver takes my hand and I stare at Cindy in disbelief. "So, I mean we can stop it? All together? End the traveling?"

Cindy Brown gives me the widest smile I've ever seen her give. "Yes."

…..

**Author's Note:** Well how about them apples? I hope to God that made sense. It did for me but then again I'm really loopy. If you're still confused I'm going to re-state it again in the next chapter when Beatrix is brought to Cindy Brown for the first time. Leave your thoughts…


	29. Always and Forever

**Author's Note: **I'm glad everyone approves of saving Lily. (I thought it would be a hit.) To be honest the idea came to me one night and I got all choked up: How could I possible kill her?! So I didn't. I love Lily, she's been a good friend to me these past few months and it would be cruel to cut her off.

_CraftyNotePad: _Chapter 27's title comes from Cake's song- Sheep go to Heaven. The lyrics go like this: Sheep go to Heaven, Goats go to Hell. Get it? I'm sure you do. Also grass angles are snow angles in July… duh! Oh wait… am I the only who does that? Oops.

**Music: **Joshua Radin- The Fear you won't Fall, Closer. Psapp- Calm Down. Boys Like Girls- Hero/Heroine. (Valx3you: that youtube video totally blew my mind!) Rachael Yamagata- Moments with Oliver (Instrumental version.)

…..

(January 7, 2035 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

LILY: I wait in the hallway. Oliver helps Beatrix into her coat. She's not going to school today, today we are going to Doctor Brown's office for the treatment. Oliver and I have discussed it. The process won't hurt Beatrix at all, Cindy has insured us this.

Oliver crotches down to Beatrix's level. "Ready?"

Beatrix fumbles with her coat buttons. "This will help Mommy?" She asks quietly.

"Yes." Oliver answers.

Beatrix looks at me and smiles. "I'm ready."

And then we leave. Oliver folds my chair and places it in the trunk and I sit in the backseat with Beatrix. She puts her head in my lap and I run my fingers through her hair. It's too early in the morning for Beatrix to be up and functioning.

"Hello Beatrix, I'm Doctor Brown." Cindy holds out her hand and Beatrix shakes it sleepily. "Now what I'm going to have to do is hook you up to this IV."

"You mean like a shot?!" Beatrix exclaims, waking up fast.

Cindy smiles gently and puts her hand on Bee's shoulder. "I promise you I won't hurt you."

Beatrix pulls from Cindy's hand and looks to me, scared. "Here doc, hook me up first." I say. "Bumble Bee would you like me to go first?"

Beatrix nods. Cindy pulls out her equipment. Oliver helps me onto the bed. I get settled and smile at Beatrix. Cindy rolls up my sleeve.

"Whoa! That needle is huge!" Beatrix shouts backing away and hiding behind Oliver. I cringe, you'd think after all these years I'd get used to shots but they still give me the creeps and Beatrix is not helping.

Cindy inserts the tube and I shut my eyes. It hurts! I open my eyes and smile at Beatrix. "See Bee, no big deal."

Beatrix looks at me and sighs. She sits up on her own bed and lays back. I'm beginning to feel very drowsy. I look over at Oliver he smiles at me and takes my hand. I close my eyes.

OLIVER: The hospital room is very warm. It makes me feel like curling up in a tight ball and falling asleep on the bed with Lily. I hold Beatrix's hand as she falls asleep from the shot and Cindy checks her machines and smile. She's already drawn blood from both of my girls and the treatment will begin once the rest of Doctor Brown's partners get here.

"This will take a few hours, Oliver, so if you want you could leave." Cindy tells me flipping through a notebook.

I look at Lily, sleeping soundly her head down and on her shoulder and then to Beatrix. "I think I'll stick around. I'll wait outside." I smile walking away.

"Wait, Oliver let's step into my office for a moment." Cindy says placing her notebook down. For an odd reason I don't like the way she said that. But I follow and take a seat. Cindy sits behind her desk and clasps her hands together.

"Now I don't want you to be worried Oliver." She begins. I feel my body stiffen. "But in case things don't go according to plan Lily has informed me about the preparations that need to be made."

"Are you saying we could loose both of them?!" I shout.

"No, Lily is the only one I'm truly worried about. Beatrix will do just fine, even if the operation is less then satisfactory." Cindy says calmly and for the very first time I understand Lily's frustration with this woman.

"Now, I' am fully equipped and ready for this. And I have put all of my faith and time into this. But, I'm only suggesting, Oliver, that you should be ready." Cindy nods her head and leaves.

I get up after a moment; I can't sit in here anymore. I walk to the cafeteria downstairs and order a coffee, black. I sip the steaming brown liquid quietly. An elderly woman smiles at me and sits down next to me. She's wearing an orange nurse outfit.

"Hey honey." She says; her voice deep and thick. I can tell she use to smoke. "Who are you waiting for?"

I put my coffee down. To be honest I'm not into that whole charade of spilling your guts out to a stranger just because you're in a hospital. But to humor her I answer dryly. "My wife and daughter."

I glare at her and she catches my drift. "Well I hope they get better." She says awkwardly and walks away. I nod and retreat back to my drink…

An hour later I'm sitting in an uncomfortable chair. I've seen numerous people walk in and out. I've read three magazine articles on cars, nature, and new movie releases. I'm anxious and worried. As I rub my eyes I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Oliver?"

"Yes?"

"You can see them now." Cindy says with her hands at her side; and a small smile on her lips. "Everything went according to plan, it was beautiful. Beatrix is up and asking for you but Lily is still out."

LILY: I'm dreaming. I'm remembering a song my mother used to sing: One, two buckle your shoe! Three, four hit the door! Five, six make it mix! Seven, eight don't be late! Nine, ten do it again! … The last thing I remember is Oliver's face… I see flashes of Miley, Jake, Beatrix, Mom, and Dad. There's dozens of imagines. I can hear someone talking…

OLIVER: I'm sitting in bed with Beatrix. She has her head on my shoulder and is humming a song. "How do you feel?" I ask.

"Good. How's Mommy?" Bee turns to me with her big blue eyes.

"She's going to be fine. She just needs to rest." I kiss Beatrix's forehead. Cindy comes walking in with one of her partners. They are whispering back and fourth. This doesn't look good.

"Oliver?"

I want to plug my ears and shout out: "La, la, la not listening!" I want to be in the dark. No more bad news! I can't handle it. But instead I lift my head and say, "Yes?"

"There are a few things we should go over. Now, as you know, we've taken Lily's mutation gene and replaced it with Beatrix's younger ones. And with that we injected the medicine that didn't work before. All is going very smoothly but you need to know that Lily won't be Lily for a little while until everything kicks in."

I shake my head. "What are you talking about?"

"In Lily's mind she will still believe that she is traveling. And the pains of traveling will have increased. Now, we are going to keep her here for tonight. If the pain is too much we might… loose her. But I and all of my colleges will be watching her around the clock. And at the first sign of any pain we will give her the new meds again. By tomorrow morning everything will be fine."

I try and process the new information. "Do you think I could stay here with her?"

Cindy folds her arms over her chest and sighs. "I'd rather you not. I mean things might get a little tense around here."

I run my fingers through Beatrix's hair and then look back up at Cindy's brown eyes. "Please?"

Cindy shifts her weight form foot to foot. "… Alright, maybe you could help. Calm her down and such."

"Thank-you." I smile at her. Cindy leaves and I direct my attention to Bee. "Do you think you could stay at Miley's house for the night? If you don't want to tell me, you and I will go home together."

Beatrix fidgets with the white sheets. "But what about Mommy? I think I'll go over Miley's house. I don't want Mommy to wake up alone."

I hug Beatrix and kiss her head. "You're the best Bee."

She giggles. "I know."

Beatrix and I spend the day together hanging around the hospital. We have lunch and I take her to the near by park for the rest of the afternoon. Beatrix is doing wonderful. The operation didn't affect her in the least bit.

Around dinner Miley and Jake take Beatrix back to their place. I kiss her goodbye and then make my way back to the white room. It's colder this time when I enter. Lily is still knocked out. Her eyelids move form side to side, she's dreaming.

I push the hair out of her eyes and kiss her forehead. "Hurry home." I whisper. I walk over to the other bed and lay down. I pull the covers up and over my head and fall asleep…

It's the fast rate beating that wakes me up. I recognize the machine from when Lily was giving birth to Beatrix; it records someone's heart beat. But this machine is beating out of control. BeepBeepBeepBeepBeep. Over and over. My eyes dart to Lily.

She is moving slightly in bed. Her arms swing out and her head jerks from side to side. Cindy and two other big men I don't know come running in. I jump out of bed and try to see over their shoulders.

"I'm going to need you to hold her down!" Cindy shouts over the machine. The big men hold her upper arms and then she begins to scream. It's so loud and ear piercing that I have to cover my ears.

It sounds like they are touring her, killing her. Lily? I start to reach out and touch her hand but Cindy shoves me away.

"Move it or loose it Oliver!" She warns. And part of me thinks I might be loosing something so much more.

"I'm going to need #343!" Cindy barks uncapping an extremely large needle. A young meek looking women comes running up to Cindy with a bottle of brown liquid. My eyes widen as she walks over to Lily.

"Hold her damn it!" Cindy growls as she wrestles with Lily to roll up her sleeve.

"Let me help!"

Cindy quickly stales a glance at me from the struggle. "Fine, you hold her head."

I race over to Lily. Her forehead is sweating and her head is still jerking form side to side. I gently put one hand on her chin and another on the top of her head. Her skin is ice. I watch her teeth grid together and she whimpers.

I hold her and stroke her neck with my thumb. I can't watch Cindy put that needle into her so I just keep staring at Lily.

"Oh my God…" I hear Cindy breathe out. I look at her. She is staring, mouth open, down towards the end of Lily's bed. Something is twitching.

Quickly Cindy throws the white sheets off the bed and slams her hand down on Lily's knee. It reacts fast with a small jerk. I let go of Lily's face, she's stopped moving now. Her breathing is regular and everything is working.

Doctor Brown and I share small smiles. She touches Lily's leg again and like last time is responds. "How can this happen?" I ask.

Cindy shakes her head, marveled. "I have no idea…"

LILY: Everything hurts. I have the worst headache. My mouth has a queer taste in it, like the cough syrup they try to shove down your throat as a kid. I feel someone's hand on my forehead. I feel warm lips kiss my cheek.

"Oliver?"

I open my eyes and there he is. Oliver looks beat, his eyes red and weary but a smile is present. I try a smile myself. "Is it okay?" I wonder, suddenly worried and dying to know. Oliver laughs.

"Everything is just… just perfect. Lily," He moves his hand down my side and to my leg. It's warm. It's warm! Oliver's hand! I can feel Oliver's hand! I sit up quickly and throw the sheets away from my legs.

I touch my legs. My hands are ice but I don't care. I can _feel_. "How can this happen?" My mind is racing.

"Doctor Brown is a genius." Oliver chuckles. I take his face between my hands and bring him to me. I kiss Oliver deeply.

"Am I interrupting?"

Oliver and I slowly separate. Cindy is smiling in the doorway holding a file. "Hello Lily… I'll let you get dressed and then we'll talk alright?"

I nod, unable to speak, to think of anything to say that could possible make her understand how thankful I truly am. Oliver helps me up from the bed. My legs hurt as I put weight on them.

My legs wobble and aren't used to the pressure. I get dressed with Oliver's help. He wraps his arm around my waist and we limp together to Cindy's office. I laugh out loud and kiss his cheek. Is it possible to be this giddy?

We sit down and Cindy shakes her head smiling. "Everything went according to plan and, if I do say so myself, even better. Now you will still have to use your wheelchair while you are recovering. I'll set you up with a physical therapist. But Lily…"

Cindy covers her mouth with her hand and breathes out fast. "I just… I just can't believe it." Threw her smile I see a tear pour from one of her dark brown eyes. "I'm so happy for you."

I take her hands in my own and let out a shaky laugh. "I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you for what you've given me. Doctor Brown, Cindy, thank-you." I let go of her hands.

"Now, for Beatrix. I cannot perform this operation on her until she's a legal adult, eighteen. But in the mean time," Cindy pulls a small bottle out of her desk. "These are under the counter drugs. It will reduce her travels and make them completely pain free. I had one of my lab technicians put some of the antidote into the pills for her. This used to be a pain reliever until he meddled with them. But until she's old enough we won't be able to stop the time traveling completely." Cindy says handing over the bottle. "Also, I want to schedule monthly visits for both of you."

"This is all so unreal." Oliver says looking at me. We stay in Cindy's office and make appointments for the up coming months. And I receive the physical therapists card. Everything is perfect.

Oliver wheels me out to the car. As we drive to Miley's house to pick up Beatrix I can't stop smiling. I feel a weight being lifted from mine and Oliver's attitude. He rests his hand on my thigh and I trace circles around his knuckles.

"Anyone home?!" I shout as we enter into Miley's house. I hear loud footsteps charge down the stairs.

"Mommy!"

It's Beatrix. I see a long wave of her hair as she pulls me into a hug. Oliver kisses her on the head and then takes me into the kitchen where the Ryan's are waiting with tea.

"So?" Miley bounces excitedly.

"I'm a regular Jane!" I announce.

I receive hugs and kisses all around. Robert shyly shakes my hand and wishes me well. I ruffle his hair and then Oliver and I take our places at the end of the table.

"We have more news as well." Oliver grins looking at me form my chair. "Go ahead Lily."

I sigh happily and look to everyone. "In a few months… I'll be able to walk again." A hush whisks its way around the joyful room. Beatrix is the first to squeal and jump for joy and the rest follow in suit.

We toast together and look into my bright future…

(February 17, 2035 Lily/Oliver: 43 and Beatrix: 8)

OLIVER: Lily and I are sitting outside on the back deck. It's fairly warm out. Beatrix is still inside finishing up her math homework. The sun is setting softly. Lily is resting her head on my shoulder. So far our days have been filled with unbelievable bliss.

Lily is smiling non stop. She laughs sometimes for no reason at all. Her legs are making great progress. She's taking baby steps but for once, we have time. The door opens from behind us.

"Finished!" Beatrix announces with pride, math is not her strong point. I swear her and Lily are exactly alike.

"Let Daddy check it for you." Lily yawns lifting her head from my shoulder. I take the paper from Beatrix's hands.

"So?" Bee jumps impatiently.

"Hold your horses! I'm only on number five." I smirk at her. Lily giggles and kisses Bee's cheek.

"Re-think number ten." I smile. Beatrix lets out a sigh and takes back the paper she slowly makes her way back inside. I turn to Lily, she is smirking.

"What?"

"You're such a good dad." She blushes.

"Well, just thank that flour project in eighth grade." I tell her playing with a strand of her hair. Lily snorts.

"Yeah well back then you wanted Sarah to be the mother."

I roll my eyes. "Please! I only had eyes for you. Sarah was simply a back-up."

"You're just saying that." Lily laughs.

"…Maybe, but I'm glad I found you."

"Thank-you and just for that you get a free kiss." Lily grins.

"Really! Oh you're too kind!" I gush. Lily pulls me to her and we meet somewhere in the middle. Her kisses have never ceased to amaze me. As I'm pulling Lily into my lap I hear someone giggle.

We separate slowly.

"Beatrix?" Lily asks.

"Yeah." A teenage version of my daughter blushes. She's wearing Lily's jeans and light orange t-shirt. "Mini me let me in… oh and I'm seventeen."

"Cool." Lily says sliding off my lap.

"My birthday is tomorrow. You guys are going to take me in for the operation."

LILY: My daughter shifts her weight from foot to foot. "So this will be your last travel then?" I ask.

"Yes." She says.

"And you choose this?" Oliver frowns.

"Yeah! If I recall correctly I'm griping in the kitchen about math and besides today is the day you start making me write down all of my time travels."

"Really?" I ask surprised. "That's actually a good idea."

"Well, I've just been full of those lately." Beatrix adds.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" Oliver wonders as Beatrix sits between us on the bench.

"Yeah, a lot." She whispers. I put my arm around her.

"Don't be, it'll be a piece of cake for you. I mean you're still taking your pills right?" I question her lightly.

"Always. You never let me leave in the mornings without one." Beatrix laughs.

"So how are things in the future?" Oliver smiles at his daughter.

"Pretty nice. The music shop is still doing great. And you guys are always so happy. Life is just good." My daughter sighs dreamily.

"Now that's what I like to hear." Oliver smiles, staring off into the sunset.

"You and me both buddy boy." I say. And just like that everything comes into place. "Oh wait! Beatrix, this is going to sound weird but, you and Robert?"

I watch as a deep blush creeps up her cheeks. "We're going to wait until I'm out of high school to date."

I watch Oliver roll his eyes. "I still don't know about that kid."

I punch Oliver in the stomach. "I don't think he's half bad. It's just the shy thing."

"I find it enduring." Beatrix says quietly, her hands clasped together. "He's more open with me then anyone else."

I smile. "Well good. I say he's okay. I approve."

"Well I'm very happy to hear that mom." Beatrix kisses my cheek.

"Okay! Number ten!" Little Beatrix says walking outside and handing Oliver her paper again. And together the four of us sit together checking math.

"This is so weird." Older Bee giggles looking at us.

Oliver glances up at me. "Really? It doesn't feel weird."

I smile warmly at him. "Nope, not at all."

(October 3, 2035 Lily/Oliver: 44 and Beatrix: 9)

OLIVER: It's very early in the morning. I'm not sure what time it is and part of me is just too lazy to roll over and figure it out. My nose is in her hair and my arms wrapped tightly around her body. She is breathing slowly and I know that she is still in deep sleep. I kiss her shoulder lightly.

This is the best feeling. It's a feeling, after all this time, I'm still getting use to. Waking up with her here. Waking up, and knowing that she will not disappear. That Lily, my friend and lover, is here to stay and live in her own time.

Lily wakes and turns over to look at me.

"Did I wake you?"

"No." She smiles. We are silent. The wind outside is picking up. I can hear it howling against the window. It's supposed to rain today. We have planned to spend the day lounging at the music shop. I'm going to cook dinner tonight. And later maybe dancing if Beatrix will mind staying at Miley's.

I feel Lily's warm fingertips on my face. She runs a line down the side of my face and rubs my lips. I see her blue eyes shinning and swimming with joy. This is my Lily. No fear, no depression. All is well.

She stops and looks at me. "Where are you?" I ask softly, not too loud to ruin the moment.

"Here." She tells me while putting a hand on my chest, over my heart. "Right… here…"

We come together and kiss and then, time is broken. We are free from its clutches. And Lily, as she has told me, is here. Always and forever, right here…

_Fin. _

…..

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry but it's true, it's over. I'd just like to thank every last one of you who have stuck with me. Your reviews have lifted me up and made me continue this story. And to think, I was originally never going to write this. Proves how wrong I' am about most things.

I decided to end it now because, well, all the loose ends have been tied. And it's happy. I wanted a happy ending because Lily and Oliver deserve it. Also, it took me a while to decide who to end with. But then I laughed and thought: Oliver of course! I began with this hero and I will end with this hero.

I have enjoyed writing this _so_ much. It has made my summer forever golden and I'm sorry to see it come to a close. (I'm having a very hard time letting it go.) But have no fear, I'm concocting another tale. It should be posted sometime during the next few weeks so look out for a Mr. Fishy update.

Thank-you again. I tip my hat to you, faithful reader.


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